


A Hooded Viper in Paradise

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Narsarya B [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek : Into Darkness - Fandom, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 1930s Movies, 1930s music, AU, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Bickering, Blood Connection by Firefly (Inspiration), Blow Job, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fellatio, Friendship, Good & Evil, Humor, Irving Berlin Music, Khirk, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Mind Drifting, Narcotic Plants, Narsarya B, Narsarya B "Land of the Lotus Flower", Narsarya B (Star Trek Series), Rape Non-Con, Romance, Slow Build, Star Trek Humor, Vulcan yelling, What Laura Felt, physical violence, spones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:23:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8045683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Prequel to "The Dancing Head of the Cobra."Dr. Leonard McCoy and his beautiful new wife Laura Kessler, a behavioral psychologist, are living the ideal life at their clinic on Narsarya B by day and dancing to Irving Berlin music in their 1930s world by night.  Enter Jim Kirk and Mr. Spock with Khan Noonien Singh in tow.  Will the narcotic effects of the planet's mysterious lotus flowers rehabilitate Khan?  Will he and his sleeping crew find a home at last in this exotic paradise?  Or will excesses once again prove that there can be too much of a good thing?What is good and what is evil?  Where is the line drawn between the two, or does it blend somewhere in the wavering middle?  Does it all come down to the question, instead, of just who is good and who is evil?Our Gallant Trio face physical, mental, and emotional challenges in their usual fashion.  Kirk is still mouthy, Bones is still snarky, and Spock, well, Spock is still just being Spock.  Add Khan who is mysterious, melancholy, yet sexy, and Laura Kessler who is charming, yet seemingly lost in the 1930s, and anything can happen in this world of illusion where sex is real and so is death.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Blood Connection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/811163) by [Firefly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firefly/pseuds/Firefly). 



> What Laura Felt, part 1: A study of good and evil
> 
> Happens after Star Trek : Into Darkness.
> 
> He will not judge by what he sees...or...hears(,) but with righteousness...and faithfulness....Isaiah 11:3,4,5. The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. Isaiah 11:8.

“Excuse me?! You want me to do, what?!”

“You heard me, Captain Kirk. We want you to try to rehabilitate Khan Noonien Singh.”

“Oh, well, just so it isn‘t anything difficult.”

“I will overlook that flippant remark, Kirk, because your smart mouth isn‘t the issue here today. Khan is. Section 31 wants his potential explored, so you are being assigned the duty of escorting him to somewhere safe so a program for his rehabilitation can be implemented. You will also be responsible for protecting him.”

“From what?”

“From someone like Admiral Marcus who would want to make use of Khan’s powers for his own agenda. It would represent an overwhelming threat to the universe. And, since Khan cannot be allowed to resurrect his crew until his own rehabilitation is clearly achieved, he is depressed. We need to protect him from himself.”

“And we want to do this, why?! Wouldn’t it be easier just to give him a cyanide capsule, or turn the other way while he’s teetering on the edge of a cliff?”

“We are supposed to be more humane that that, Captain.”

“Wouldn’t he be happier reunited with his crew?”

“Sure, we could comply with his wishes and place him back into cryogenic sleep again. It would make the universe safe from him.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. He wants it. We want it. Why not do it?”

“Because we want to hear his ideas on bringing peace to the universe. That is one of our goals with the Federation of Planets, in case you’ve forgotten, Captain Kirk.“

“I guess it momentarily slipped my mind, sir, with all this discussion about Khan.“

“That’s why he said he and his crew were originally placed into cryogenic sleep. The thinking was that they could be resurrected at a more conducive time.”

“Begging the Admiral’s pardon, sir, but that time will never come. Some demigod will always arise who will want to use Khan’s powers for his own purposes. Look what Admiral Marcus did.”

The Admiral drew back. “Be that as it may, those are your orders, Captain Kirk. Besides, you’ve dealt with Khan before. You know him.”

“Yeah, I know him, alright,“ Kirk said moodily. He twisted his face around. “My jaw remembers.” 

“He was more than a power-hungry despot. If he could be restored to peaceful purposes, he could be a powerful force for good. He had a higher purpose once, and still reflects that thinking in some ways. I know you saw that in him, and it appealed to the ethical side of you. You’re intrigued with him, in spite of yourself. Besides,” the Admiral said with a wily grin, “I believe you owe him your life.”

Kirk straightened. “Yes, sir. And I will repay my debt to him.”

“Can that kind of debt ever be repaid, Captain?”

“It looks like I’m going to be taking a good shot at it right now, sir.”

The Admiral looked pleased. “I knew you would see the situation my way, Captain.”

Kirk knew when he had been outfoxed and nodded with reluctance. “I just needed it pointed out to me, sir.”

 

“Does Doctor McCoy know the nature of our visit, Captain?” Spock asked as he and Kirk relaxed in Kirk's quarters aboard the Enterprise.

“I didn’t give him too many details, Mr. Spock. I just said that you and I were coming to meet his wife at long last, that we would be staying awhile, and that we were bringing another guest with us. I thought that was broad enough to alert him, but not narrow enough to make him vacate the planet before we arrive on Narsarya B.”

“So he has no idea that our 'guest' is Khan Noonien Singh?”

“None.”

“Fascinating.”

“I saw that twinkle in your eyes.”

“Just anticipating, Captain.”

“Of course.”

“I am curious, though, Captain. What made you think of taking him to Narsarya B?”

“It’s just logical, Spock. Maybe the planet can affect him positively. And Dr. McCoy and his wife do have that handy clinic of theirs where Khan can be monitored. Just think what an advance to science that would be. And Khan could confer with the elders of the planet on political theories that hopefully would lead to peace in the universe.”

Spock looked impressed. “You are correct. It is very logical thinking, so it might possibly work.”

“And there is also the personal thing that I am indebted to Khan just to be alive. His blood did save my life. Plus, I think that there is a potential from him that we need to nurture. Who knows what progress could be made on untold levels if he uses his knowledge and insight for good? The man is a genius. Plus,” he said as he took a deep breath, “the guy really fascinates the hell out of me.”

“I realize that, Captain. In your case, it would be something similar to a fly watching a spider spin its web. Or a snake charmer practicing his skills.”

Kirk frowned. “That bad, huh?”

“Dr. McCoy would probably liken it to a Freshman girl with a crush on a Senior football player.”

Kirk’s frown deepened. “I don’t know about a crush--”

“Dr. McCoy’s analogies sometimes get strained, but I have often found them to be quite correct in their spirit, if not their content.”

“Freshman girl, eh?”

“Plus, I believe that in Khan's case, Dr. McCoy would say that he just does not trust the eerie bastard.”

Kirk frowned. “Dr. McCoy, hmm?”

A satisfied smile curved along Spock‘s lips as he warmed to his topic. “That Khan looks like he just crawled out of some Transylvanian castle at sunset in order to terrorize the nearby village for his nightly blood feast.”

“That isn’t a supposition from you, by any chance, is it, Mr. Spock? You’re still quoting McCoy, aren‘t you?!”

“Quite directly, in fact. And emphatically. I find, that in this case, I must strongly agree with Dr. McCoy‘s viewpoint.”

“Hmm. So I take it that you believe that you and Dr. McCoy would have some trouble with your willingness to help Khan Noonien Singh.”

“’Some trouble’ does not even begin to cover it, sir.”

“Hmm. I see. But you are here with me now, headed for a certain clash with Dr. McCoy over Khan, to say the least, and probably a bit of trouble from the inhabitants of Narsarya B and from Khan himself. So, you’re still on board?”

Spock looked a little puzzled, but answered his captain as honestly as he could. “I believe that I am. It would be illogical for me to get off the Enterprise at our present position in space, sir. There is nothing out here except for some space dust. Some rocks are nearby, but even they would be incapable of sustaining life for very long. Most of them, I expect, do not even possess an adequate atmosphere to support breathable oxygen, let alone an environment that would provide water and food resources with suitable shelter from the elements and other life forms as yet undetermined.”

Kirk put his hand on his forehead. “I meant--”

“I believe that there is nothing at this present location that would support life for very long, let alone advance it. A future here would be somewhat bleak for even the heartiest pioneers. So, yes, Captain, my only logical decision would be to stay on board the Enterprise.”

Kirk wrinkled up his nose and gave him an over-sweet smile. He wondered for the thousandth time just how clueless Spock really was about idioms, or if the placid-faced alien was simply pulling his leg. Yep, that was another one of those pesky idioms that would generate another blood-pressure-raising round of frustration for Earthlings as they tried to explain the idiom's meaning without using more idioms. Generally, Spock reserved that game for the quick tempered Dr. McCoy, but this discussion seemed to have brought out the playfulness in the Vulcan. “Glad to hear it," Kirk said with minced words. "And about the possibility of your helping Khan?”

“That appears to be our present orders, Captain. Even though I cannot consider him to be a friend or a colleague, I will do my best to protect and to guide him in his endeavors.”

“So you are willing to help me, even though it is Khan?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“And you are taking your immunity tablets so the planet won’t affect you adversely as it did before?”

“Yes, Captain, as I assume you are?”

Kirk grinned. “Well, some days I might just ‘forget’ to take my medication after we get there. As I recall, the ladies are very friendly on Narsarya B, and I would like to accommodate them.”

“That they are, Captain.” Then Spock sighed. “But please be careful.”

“Always, Mr. Spock,” Kirk agreed with an eager smile. “Besides, how can a planet of willing females possibly harm me?”

“Perhaps by loving you to death?”

“Now, that, Mr. Spock, would be a wonderful way to expire!”

 

Jim Kirk stood just within the open doorway of Khan’s quarters aboard the Enterprise and looked down at the gaunt, somberly dressed man sitting at a table. “You know, you’re really not a prisoner here, Khan. You can roam around the ship at will.”

Khan Noonien Singh set aside the book he had been reading and with a sigh looked up at Kirk. “And go where, Captain Kirk? I am making your people nervous enough just by being aboard this ship. I doubt if my hovering over their shoulders inquiring about their daily labors or their personal lives will ease their discomfort any about my presence. My reputation does rather proceed me.” He did not bother to hide the irony in his voice.

Kirk stepped inside the quarters, and the door slid closed behind him.

“Really, Captain?” Khan asked with an eyebrow raised. “You trust me enough to be alone with me?”

“Oddly, I do. You don’t have a vendetta against me.”

“Yet.” He gave Kirk a very knowing look. “Or do you just like to be around something dangerous? Don’t you look on me as a coiled snake ready to strike? And the mystery is not if, but when?”

“I’m more than a thrill seeker, Khan.”

“Don’t hand me that! You live for danger! You’d shrivel up and die without it!” He turned aside. “If you weren’t, you’d be a trial lawyer somewhere in Schenectady.” 

“I understand there can be a lot of thrills to be had even in the courtroom.”

Khan turned back with fire flashing in his eyes. “But not of the caliber enjoyed by a certain badass Starfleet captain with his own crew of gladiators roaming the galaxies!”

“You could have something of the adventurer in yourself.”

Khan turned away, grumbling something.

“What?” Kirk asked.

Khan turned back. “We didn’t have Starfleet in the Twentieth Century!”

Kirk grinned. “Which makes our argument moot.”

“Don’t try to make me like you, Jim Kirk. It won’t work,” Khan growled.

But Khan’s tough words wasn’t matching body language that Kirk was getting from Khan. Kirk had seen Khan‘s eyes twinkle with interest and appreciation. “Come on, Khan,” Kirk said in his intimate voice, “we‘re not such a bad sort here on the Enterprise. Why don‘t you give us a try? You might find that there’s something about us to like, after all. We‘ll be glad to offer all sorts of diversions.”

Khan blinked. Was James T. Kirk flirting with him?! Then Khan remembered that was how Kirk appeared when he was trying to be clever and sincere. Kirk apparently didn’t realize he was also being flirty. Or did he? Was Kirk trying to hint that he wouldn’t mind becoming friendlier to Khan? On a personal level? On a physical level?! Khan felt a tightening in his nether regions. I’ll be damned! he thought. I might be interested, too!

Kirk congratulated himself and thought that he had made quite the diplomatic impression on Khan by extending an olive branch to him. Kirk didn‘t realize that Khan thought that Kirk had extended something quite different in Khan‘s direction. Euphemistically extended, of course, but extended all the same.

“Think about what I’ve told you,“ Kirk continued. “I’m just saying that you have the run of the ship. Mingle. Interrelate. Have dinner with Spock and me occasionally.”

That broke the flights of fancy about Kirk’s anatomy that Khan had just been enjoying, and he looked up at the object of his new interest with a smirk. “That should bring such a joy to Spock’s day, Captain! I can’t imagine how he would react if he learned that he would have to socialize with me.”

“Spock will do as I say. He is my First Officer.”

“Duty before personalities. How dedicated he is! How could I stand to be around such virtue and perfection?!”

“I know what you mean. Sometimes he’s a pain in the ass to me, too.”

Khan blinked. What had Kirk just admitted? “Really, Captain?” Khan asked in a mocking voice. “Do you wish to elaborate, or does that involve something of a personal understanding between you and Mr. Spock?”

Kirk tried not to let Khan see him react the way Khan had reacted. He didn’t want Khan to know that Kirk understood that Khan’s question could be taken two different ways. Khan apparently thought it could. One interpretation involved the idiom that Kirk had used. The other involved, well, it involved Kirk being the bottom in a rather physical relationship with Spock. It was the type of relationship that would be considered friendlier than the relationship enjoyed by most Starfleet captains and their First Officers. Kirk couldn't vouch for all of them. There were certain rumors....

Kirk had had enough of this encounter with Khan. He’d made the effort, now it was up to Khan. Kirk headed for the door. “Well, I just wished to extend to you the freedom of the ship. You are a passenger and a guest.”

“Thank you, Captain Kirk,” Khan answered as if he were back to reading from the same etiquette book as Kirk. “I will take all that you have offered into consideration.” Then his face took on a more intimate demeanor. “And you are being quite generous, I must say.”

This time Kirk couldn’t hide his puzzlement fast enough. Had Khan thought that Kirk was offering something in the nature of a more personal relationship to him?! And just what were the paradigms of such a relationship?! Kirk didn’t know if he was prepared to be that open, or generous, with Khan. What surprised him, though, was a little tingle to his imagination. What stunned him was the jolt to his anatomy, especially in the nether regions, somewhat further south of where a belt buckle would lie.

No! He couldn’t be thinking that way!

Kirk whipped into the hallway without saying anything further. He didn’t want Khan to misconstrue anything more that he said. Besides that, he suddenly wondered if he could trust himself about what he would say next to Khan. What the hell was wrong with him?! Everything seemed to be coming out of his mouth with double meanings.

The door closed on Kirk after he made his abrupt exit, and Khan returned to his book. He stared at the pages for a few minutes, then smirked. He felt a laugh bubble up through his body, and he opened his mouth to let it out. 

Khan’s mouth twisted with an ironic grin. How long it had been since he had laughed! How good it had felt! 

How quaint Kirk was! How transparent! How in love with himself!

But how gallant! How principled! A man who would fight for what he believed in and would defend it even if he had to die crying and screaming about it. A man like Khan himself.

How intriguing was this Captain Kirk! Explore the ship, like hell! Kirk was what intrigued him! Khan felt the fires of fascination licking at him. It had been so long since he had felt this way. Here was something to live for at last! Something new had appeared to stimulate his intricate brain. A larger-than-life person had piqued his interest, and Khan was willing to explore. And to learn, whoever the teacher, whatever the lesson.

He set the book aside. Time to extend his horizons. He left his quarters and headed for the engine room.

 

“Well, yes, Captain,” Scotty reported later. “Khan did seem quite interested in the running of the ship when he visited this department.”

“Well, I did suggest that he got out and mingled more.”

“He doesn’t seem like such a bad sort, sir, once you get to know him a little.”

“I know. It’s difficult to imagine that he has the history he has, isn’t it?”

“Quite difficult, sir. He just seems lonely and misunderstood.”

That could be the understatement of the century, Kirk decided.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re doing what?!” McCoy roared as he stared at the man in tow with Jim Kirk, and it wasn’t Spock who received his famous scowl.

Laura Kessler, a petite brunette with eyes bluer than McCoy’s, placed a placating hand on McCoy’s arm and murmured softly in a voice that expected no argument. “Let’s hear Captain Kirk out, dear.”

Kirk took a second look at Laura Kessler. There was something about her clothing and her shoulder length hair that seemed familiar. Normally, he wasn’t one to notice dress styles, just how the dress looked on the female figure. But this dress hung limply as if its material was an antique natural fabric. It clung in all the right places, though, so Kirk appreciated it. But there was something in its flare at the hemline and the height of its fluttery short sleeves that made him think of an early Greer Garson in Goodbye, Mr. Chips. He glanced at Laura’s shoes and thought he had seen the original spectator pumps worn by Garson in old photos.

McCoy’s whole face smiled back at his wife. “Of course, dear. How rude of me.” He looked back at Kirk with a warm smile. “Forgive me, Jim. I quite forgot myself.” He looked down at his wife and received a reassuring smile in praise.

Wow! Had McCoy been tamed! And by such a little slip of a woman! What she lacked in size, she must make up in spunk, Kirk decided.

Kirk gave them a tolerant smile, but beside him, he saw Spock roll his eyes and heard him sigh. Spock assumed that serious romance with a woman equated a loss of masculinity. Just look at the present example now before them, Spock would argue. 

“I heard that sigh, Mr. Spock.” McCoy smiled. “Laura, this is Mr. Spock, the Science Officer for the Enterprise and my sometime friend. It appears that he’s just as warm and personable as he’s always been.”

“Now, Len, I’m certain that you exaggerate,” she said with a private smile just for him. Then she turned that burning sun on Spock. “I am so happy to be meeting one of my husband’s few and dearest friends,” she said as she grabbed the hand that Spock had not offered.

“I wouldn’t go that far, Laura,” McCoy grumbled. “I don’t know about the dearest part.”

“And here I thought he would object to there being only a few people in the universe who were brave enough or patient enough to chisel behind that old curmudgeon mask of his,” Laura continued as she cooed up at Spock with the delightful smile that had just gone personal. “You must be a very brave individual, Mr. Spock. I realize what a chore it has been for you to befriend Len. That makes us comrades of a sort, doesn‘t it?” she asked as she beamed up at the startled alien. “And I, for one, am utterly delighted to be meeting you!”

Spock, for his part, was incapable of speech. The sensations of open friendship, unabashed love, and ready acceptance that he was receiving from Laura through her hand and smile quite overwhelmed him. She was taking him at face value and apparently liking and accepting what she saw. How could he do not expect anything else from her? She seemed so open and personable.

“Laura. Sweetheart. Mr. Spock doesn’t like for anyone to grasp his hand in that manner,” McCoy cautioned. “His hands are very sensitive. You can cause him great pain.”

“Oh, I am sorry,” she apologized and started to pull her hand away. “I didn’t realize that I was committing a faux pas. And I certainly didn‘t intend to be hurting you, Mr. Spock.”

But Spock uncharacteristically grabbed her hand between both of his and refused to release it. A sweet smile curved along his lips. “That is quite alright, Doctor Kessler. You did not know. And, by the way, it is quite alright for you to take my hand if I allow it. And I do allow it, madam.”

“Why, thank you, Mr. Spock!” she gushed as she wrinkled her nose up at him. Her whole face beamed with her radiant smile. “Why, Len! He’s delightful! And such a gentleman! Not all what I was expecting!”

Spock beamed down at her.

“Back off, Spock!” McCoy growled. “She’s taken.”

Laura Kessler began to laugh. “Oh, how glorious! To be fought over by two handsome men! What a compliment! Thank you, gentlemen!”

Kirk turned to the gaunt, dark-clad figure on the other side of him. “Khan, I believe that we have just been snubbed.”

“Nonsense!” Laura crowed in delight. “FOUR handsome men!”

“I wasn’t aware that Khan and I were in that rooster fight,” Kirk said with a flirty look at Laura. “But we are certainly ready and able to enter the fray, if need be.”

“Back off, the lot of you! I am still not sharing!” McCoy grumbled. “I don’t care what any of you say about my manners as a host. That‘s carrying civility too far.”

“That’s all right, darling,” Laura soothed. “We all realize that you are being about as civil as you are able.“

Kirk blinked. Was that a jibe at McCoy? But McCoy just grinned at her in adoration, so Kirk decided that he had only imagined the sharpness of her comment.

Laura patted McCoy’s arm. “I’ll just take Mr. Spock and Mr. Khan out for a stroll into the garden and show them the grounds of our clinic while you two gentlemen talk business. I‘m sure it will be dull and stupefying between you two.”

“I think I’d rather go with you, Doctor Kessler,” Kirk said with a flirty look.

“I know you would, Captain Kirk,” Laura said as she touched his chin with her forefinger. “And I’ll give you that chance sometime. Maybe this evening, after dinner?” 

“Sounds like a date,” he said graciously to her.

She looked up at him through her long eyelashes. “But I don’t know if I can trust you all alone by myself on a walk around the grounds. In the moonlight.”

His flirty smile deepened. “You can trust me, ma’am. I will be the perfect gentleman at all times.”

“Oh, goodness! How dull!”

His grin deepened. What fun to flirt when they all knew that flirting was as far as it would go. “How about the soul of discretion, then?”

“That sounds better!” she said with a laugh. “Now we just have to worry about your trusting me in the moonlight!”

Kirk laughed with pleasure, but McCoy sputtered.

“I do that to get a rise out of him,” Laura said as she leaned toward Kirk while still holding Spock’s arm. “Isn’t Len cute when he can‘t quite form words?”

Kirk glanced at McCoy. “Yes, ‘Len’ often has entertained us in that fashion. Isn’t that correct, Mr. Spock?”

“Quite so, Captain. But that can lead to other problems.“ 

Laura gave Kirk a questioning look.

“Mr. Spock has been known to worry about your husband’s blood pressure when he sputters like that.”

She waved him away. “His blood pressure is the least of his worries! He just needs to worry about his wife and her roving eye!” She turned and grabbed Khan’s arm with her other hand. “Mr. Khan, we haven’t been properly introduced, but you will walk with Mr. Spock and me, won’t you?” she asked as she looked up at him with fluttery eyelashes.

“Well, I, I,“ Khan started with his own fair share of sputtering, but he regained his gallantry. “Of course, madam, if that is what you require. I would be honored to be able to accompany you.”

“Wonderful! We‘ll leave these two alone then to their stuffy old talk.” She firmly grabbed each man by the arm and looked from one to the other on either side of her. “Shall we, gentlemen?”

Khan and Spock both babbled assent, and she whirled away with them.

Kirk watched in admiration as they exited the office. “You’re a lucky man, Bones.”

“Have you ever seen anything like her?” McCoy said with a grin. “An old Georgia cattle farmer I once knew would liken my luck to the status of a twice endowed male cow. If you need that translated, I would be only too glad to supply it.”

Kirk looked at his friend sharply. “Perhaps it would be better if I didn’t get an old down-home translation of that expression. I think I pretty well understand what it means, though.”

“Perhaps, you‘re right.”

“And the other. Did you ever think you’d see Spock and Khan in a social situation? Or any situation when they weren’t glaring at each other in hatred? Or trying to beat the hell out of each other?”

“Narsarya B is having an effect on them already!” McCoy bragged.

“Could be. And it could be that I’m the magic glue that’s holding them together.”

“As you were once the magic glue between Spock and me? Or should I say, the happy medium?”

“Do you miss those days, Bones?”

“Sometimes. But most times I’m just so damned happy with what I have right here to miss anything from my Enterprise days. And if part of my good fortune is the magic of this planet, so be it.”

“You are indeed lucky. Laura is making you happy, and that is what is important to me. I‘m glad that you‘ve found someone truly wonderful at last.”

“And she’s from Savannah! Can you imagine that?! She’s practically the girl next door. And we had to go halfway across the galaxy to meet each other.” He shook his head in amazement. “I still don’t know why she picked me.”

“That makes two of us,” Kirk muttered.

“What?” Then McCoy grinned. “I won’t even let your smart mouth and pessimism bring me down, Jim.”

“Remember when you were the pessimistic one?”

McCoy danced on the balls of his feet. “I just needed to meet the right girl. Did you notice that little Southern twang?” He shook his head in wonderment. 

“Not on her as much as on you.”

“She brings it out in me, that’s all. And that’s not all that she’s bringing out. I feel like a young colt again. A young, STUD colt.”

Kirk held up his hand. “Please. Too many images. She’s good for you, though, I can see that.”

“I’m the happiest man in the universe, Jim, or so I think. I also believe that I invented love.”

Jim Kirk hooted with laughter. “Every generation believes that!”

“I know. Logic tells me I only discovered it. All wrapped up in a size 5 package.”

“Nice packaging, too.”

McCoy started to sputter.

“You can’t blame me for appreciating what’s right in front of my eyes, Bones. But appreciating is as far as it will ever go. Now, before you say anything, I‘ll make myself clearer. I feel like she’s my newest sister, along with Nyota and Christine. That‘s all. That‘s all it will ever be.”

“Well, that’s better. I know what an old dog you can be.“

“Not around sisters and wives of good friends.“

“I figured I could trust you. I trust her, too. And it‘s a good thing. She’s the one who would be working with Khan the most.”

Kirk frowned. “She is?”

“She’s a behavioral psychologist, so she’s the logical one to monitor him.” He could see Kirk’s skepticism. “Don’t worry. She talks like a big flirt, but when it comes to work, she’s a professional.”

“Oh, I see.” 

“Yes. She’s just perfect to work with Khan.” McCoy shrugged. “The way I understand it, it’s just a matter of giving him a vitamin instead of a pill that will counteract the influence of this planet. And then monitoring him to see if it’s giving the positive results that you require. Personally, I believe that the study will work. We all saw what happened last time to Spock, the one who invented non-feeling. This planet will do the same to Khan. In effect, Narsarya B will just love him to death.”

“What a way to go.” 

“I don’t mind the experiment, it’s just the fact that it’s Khan.”

“Get in line.”

“We’ve got a history with him that isn‘t exactly companionable.”

“Well, I guess we’re going to rewrite history, and with a little tiny pill.”

“Or from the lack of, as in Khan’s case. I assume that Spock is on the immunity pills?”

“We both started them out in space, just to get ahead of the symptoms. The pills look just like Khan’s vitamin, I noticed.”

“They aren’t, though. I take a low dosage immunity pill myself. I let the planet keep me happy.”

“I thought that was Laura’s job.”

“It is.”

“And this planet has influenced you in a positive way, too.” He glanced at his old friend. “That’s why I thought it might help Khan, too.”

It was almost as if saying Khan’s name sobered McCoy, which it probably did. “Why did you really bring him here, Jim?” McCoy asked. “Why here to Narsarya B?”

“Now you’re sounding like Spock,” Kirk replied in exasperation. “I was told by the Federation to take him somewhere safe. And I would like to see how the peaceful properties of the lotus flower growing on Narsarya B would affect Khan.”

“And you thought of Paradise?! Do you want to spoil it for the rest of us?!”

“Look. I don’t like this situation any better than you do. I know you’ve built a nice place here. That you’re respected by the inhabitants.”

“I repeat. Why here to Paradise?”

“Because that’s where you are.”

“Me?! So, it isn’t the place, after all. It’s wherever I’d be?! What am I in your mind?! Some sort of super hero that I don’t know about?!”

“Because you’re a doctor.”

“You’re going to hold that against me?!”

“I know you’ll take care of Kahn.”

“Is he sick?! If he’s ill, there’s better doctors back on Earth. And they’re a damned site closer to Federation Headquarters than we are here on Narsarya B. With a lot better military facilities. I don’t want to endanger these inhabitants, Jim. Kahn could cut a helluva swath through them if he gets pissed off at them. I’ve seen what he can do. Remember San Francisco? I’d think you’d remember some of that, too.”

“I do. Look, I didn’t volunteer for this assignment. I just have to keep him safe.”

McCoy gave him a twisted, knowing smile. “Is that all?! Who did you piss off at Federation Headquarters that you got this dirt detail?”

“I was told I was the best man for the job.”

“And you fell for that?! Did the guy assigning it to you have a helluva time keeping a straight face?”

“You know, there just comes one of those times that you just have to stop yelling, go with the flow, and assume the position. I had reached mine.”

McCoy stared at him levelly for two heartbeats. “And now I’ve reached mine? Is that what you‘re saying?” The stare turned into a glare. “Is that an order, Captain?”

“I am no longer your commanding officer.”

McCoy frowned. “You’re asking it as a friend?!”

“Yes.”

McCoy breathed deeply. “Now you’re playing dirty!”

“I thought you knew me better than that. I’ll try anything I can to get what I want. And now I‘m wanting to help Khan.”

“What is this?! Do you like Khan now?!”

“Now you’re sounding like Spock again.”

“I was never one to agree with Spock much, but maybe this time he has an excellent viewpoint!”

“Bones. Must you always be talking in explanation points?”

“Now YOU’RE sounding like Spock!”

“See? Explanation points.”

McCoy turned aside, muttering. “Next, you’ll be worried about my damned blood pressure.”

“Bones. Khan?”

McCoy stopped and looked back at Kirk. “What is the problem, Jim?”

“We want to rehabilitate Khan and turn him into a viable citizen.“

“Viable citizen? This just keeps getting better. Why don’t you try something simpler, like changing the orbit of Venus?“ McCoy said dryly.

“I know. But let’s give the flowers hear a chance to work their magic on him. If they do, maybe we could have all of his crew flown here so they could be rehabilitated, too.“ 

“A flying cemetery,” McCoy muttered.

“Something like that,” Kirk agreed. He bit his lips together. “We don’t want it turned into that. Khan’s crew members are living creatures, no matter who they are. They have to be saved, even if I have to turn around and kill them later in battle. It would, at least, be an honorable fight for both of us.”

“And the principled Kirk makes his long awaited arrival!”

“Don’t give me that, Bones. You wouldn’t let defenseless creatures perish, either. You didn’t before. Neither did Spock.”

“Neither did you. The idea disgusted you. You did what you could to save them, even if they did belong to Khan.”

“I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror,” Kirk muttered.

“And so do I,” McCoy said with a big sigh. “Okay, I’ll help.“

“Thanks, Bones!“ Kirk smiled in relief and slapped McCoy on the shoulder. “You won’t regret it.“

McCoy sighed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure I will.“

“Come on, Bones! It’ll be fun! Just like old times!“

“Now who’s talking in explanation points? But why does Khan need a doctor?”

“He’s depressed.”

“He’d have a reason!”

“Wait--”

“And you give a damn?! Jim! Why do you care about Khan?!”

“If I knew that,” Kirk muttered in answer, “I’d tell you.” 

“Just what do you know about Khan, anyway?”

“Oh, basic stuff. He’s older than the hills. Literally. But he’s spent a lot of the last three hundred years frozen. What effect would all of that freezing and thawing have on his system, anyway? I just wonder if everything ever gets thawed out completely?”

Deep in thought, McCoy stared off into space. “Staying frozen in a certain spot might come in handy, though, if he‘s as old as he claims.” 

“He wouldn’t have to rely on male stimulants, that’s for sure.“

“And there wouldn’t be a problem with body heat killing off his little swimmers. He could even have everything located inside his body, and that might be convenient and more roomy for his clothing.“ He looked at the wide grin on Kirk‘s face. “How in the hell did we get on the topic of Khan‘s ability to achieve and maintain an erection?!”

“Beats me!” Kirk said with happy tears coursing down his reddened cheeks. “It sure beats the hell out of dull facts and figures, though!”

”But it all goes along with what I’ve always heard about him. He’s superhuman, the way I understand it, in all ways.”

“Yeah,” Kirk agreed as he wiped up his face and pocketed his hanky. “He’s powerful, all right. But in many ways, uncivilized. He’s part animal in his social interactions. Yet he can be charming and articulate. It just depends on what he wants to accomplish.” Kirk considered what he was saying. “He’s had some good ideas. He started out wanting some good things for humanity. Remember? Khan said that he wanted to help find peace in the universe. He put himself and his crew in suspended animation until the populace was ready for his message, then Marcus kind of messed up that plan for him and sidetracked him.”

“You think he’s a humanitarian?” McCoy asked in awe. “He has an odd way of showing it. And his record doesn‘t really support that theory.”

“That’s why he needs to be redirected. Maybe Narsarya B can help him. And maybe we humans can broaden his horizons for him.”

“You’re taking on a project that’s doomed, Jim. What you’re proposing is going to be like redirecting a launched torpedo. Can’t be done, son!”

“Well, I’m gonna try!” Kirk said obstinately.

“Yeah. And it looks like I’m going to be trying right there beside you.”

Kirk grinned. “Now, you’re talking!”

“What does Spock think about all this?”

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“I know.”

“His body’s here, but--”

“Now you getting the picture.”

“For once, I think that Spock and I might be on the same page.”

“Better not talk in idioms to Spock, he’s still clueless when it comes to them.”

“But on other things, it sounds like he’s sharp as a tack,” McCoy said belligerently.

“What’s this going to be? Mixed doubles with you and Spock playing against--” He couldn’t even finish it.

McCoy looked stunned. “Against you and Khan? What kind of hold does he have on you, Jim? Why aren’t you listening to your friends? What has he been saying to you?”

Kirk shook his head. “He hasn’t said a word. It’s me. I think there’s something more there. I’ve always felt that way. Even when I was fighting him. More so since I’ve gotten his blood in me, like he changed my thinking somehow. He seems larger than life.” He struggled to put his idea into words. “He’s got principles and a will to survive for himself and his crew.”

“So does a barracuda, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to trust the bastard.”

“I didn’t say anything about trusting Khan.”

“You RESPECT him, then?”

“Yeah. I guess something like that.”

McCoy shook his head. “Wow! You really do need Spock and me to keep you focused then, don’t you?”

“I’ll always need you and Spock, for whatever. Don’t forget that.“ Suddenly, the moment had gotten too personal. Kirk slapped McCoy on the arm to break the spell. “Hey, I’m going to go check out our accommodations.”

“Great! I’ll let you get settled in and see you at dinner. I have some paperwork that can’t wait, even if old friends have arrived.”

“The busy executive! See you later, Bones!” Kirk let himself out.

McCoy settled back into his chair. No paperwork was THAT important, but old memories were. And he just needed a moment to himself. McCoy hadn’t exactly told Kirk the truth. Seeing Kirk and Spock again had brought his old Enterprise days thundering back to him, and he wanted to get lost in those times again. True, he loved his life now, but his space adventures had been special, also. He just needed a moment to himself to relive them.

Well, maybe two.


	3. Chapter 3

With blue eyes dancing with excitement, Laura Kessler paused at the back of the grand entrance hall in front of the floor to ceiling doors that glowed with hundred of beveled glass panes embedded in them.

“At night when the chandeliers are ablaze, these windows reflect the light over and over again. Sparkles and twinkles are everywhere. I like to imagine that it is what living inside a diamond would be like. Diamonds are my birthstone, and I like to surround myself with them.” She stepped forward. “If you gentlemen would be so kind as to open the doors, please?”

Spock and Khan stepped forward and complied. The outside world of blazing light and heated air and perfumed aroma engulfed the entrance hall and the three people in it.

Laura took the arms of the two men and led them outside. “And this, gentlemen, is a vista that we are particularly fond of,“ she announced to her guests as she paused on the veranda of her home and gazed across a broad expanse of rolling lawn. Live oaks with Spanish moss trailing from them bordered the grounds and dotted the area near the house. Magnolia bushes were scattered among camellias and azaleas. Red and pink roses were everywhere. The air was heavy with the scent of a thousand blooming flowers. A line of blue water could be seen in the distance.

“Shall we stroll about the grounds?” she asked brightly as she stepped forward with a man on either side of her.

“It is truly beautiful and peaceful here, Dr. Kessler,” Spock said diplomatically as they stepped onto the pathway of flat stones that led away from the veranda onto the manicured lawns. 

“I’ve heard that your home planet of Vulcan is quite different in looks than this, Mr. Spock“ Laura continued. “Len says that to his eyes it is harsh and reddish, and that the landscape is comprised mostly of rugged and barren deserts and mountains. It must be a very strong, unforgiving, and masculine world. I would understand if you have difficulty in accepting this type of gentler beauty.“

“True, this is different from my childhood experience. But travels to other worlds as an adult have taught me that other landscapes appeal more to the vast majority of creatures in the universe. And it is likewise true that I still have trouble recognizing and accepting others’ definitions of natural beauty. I have grown to realize, though, that the lush vegetation now before us is nurtured and coveted by Earthlings and natives of other planets. Green and living plants seem to refresh others, and I have learned to appreciate such landscapes for that fact alone.”

“You express yourself remarkably well, Mr. Spock.”

“Thank you, madam.”

“Do you have any opinion, Mr. Khan?” she asked as she turned to her other side.

“I am just transfixed by all of the wonder I see about me, madam. I grew up on Earth, so I do not have the same difficulty as Mr. Spock. This looks very natural to me.”

“Quite understandable.” 

Laura stopped and cast her eyes about a small and very formal flower garden in front of them. Stone benches were interwoven with rose-covered arbors along curving paths. The garden had the effect of a tiny, exotic gem nestled among the massive live oak trees. “Have you gentlemen ever seen anything lovelier?” she asked.

That was the cue for any other man in the universe to compliment her and to say that the garden came in second best next to her beauty, but not these two men.

“Honestly, you two would make me feel like an old, toothless hag before very long,” she chided.

“I am sorry, Doctor Kessler,” Spock apologized. “I am unaccustomed to handing out flattering statements to ladies.”

Laura gave him a flirty look. “Then are you accustomed to handing out flattering statements to women who aren’t ladies?”

“I feel that you are making fun of me,” Spock said, rather stiffly.

“No, my dear Vulcan friend,” she said as she leaned toward Spock. “I am flirting with you.”

“Oh. I see." He pondered that a moment. "Will Doctor McCoy not be consumed with jealousy?”

She raised a challenging eyebrow. “One could only hope so. Please tell him how brazenly I acted toward you, won’t you? I love it when that little pulsey thing gets going in his neck, don‘t you?”

“The carotid artery? Yes, I am well aware of that display of his emotion. I have been intrigued with it myself, but I also have concern for his blood pressure at those occasions. Captain Kirk first made me aware of Doctor McCoy‘s tendency in that direction.”

“Pshaw! His blood pressure is fine. He’s too close to medicine and that makes him a little bit of a hypochondriac, that‘s all. I tease him out of it.”

“That treatment seems to be working, Doctor Kessler. I have never seen him looking so happy. And that is saying a great deal.”

“Thank you, Mr. Spock. I can’t take all the credit, though. I believe that the lotus flowers on this planet have an effect on newcomers, despite the serums we are given.”

“That may be, ma’am.”

“Perhaps our research can make more discoveries now. There are so many areas to explore.”

“That is what I believe, also.”

Laura looked at the man on her other arm. “So quiet, Mister Khan? Have you nothing to add to the conversation?”

Khan turned a non-committal face to her. “I cannot be learning if I am speaking, Doctor Kessler.”

“That is true. But that robs me of the opportunity to learn about you, also.”

“Doctor Kessler, pardon my boldness, but you should not do that,” Spock cautioned.

“Do what, Mr. Spock? Speak to a guest?”

“Khan is not really a guest, Doctor.”

“But he is in my home, is he not?”

Spock frowned and could not answer.

Khan gave a bitter, ironic smile. “Yes, Spock, answer the lady. What am I, really? Just what is your assessment of me?”

Spock glared at him. “He is a devil in the shape of a man,” he practically snarled. “It is not in your best interests to treat him civilly, Doctor.”

“I believe I am the best judge of how to treat him, Mr. Spock.” 

“He is not to be trusted,” Spock said to her. 

“But he is a guest in my home,” she maintained stubbornly.

“I am sorry to contradict you, but he is not a guest. He is a political prisoner.”

“Come on, Spock,” Khan egged him on. “Tell the lady the whole truth. You see, Doctor Kessler, Vulcans can’t lie. But the species before you on your other arm is not a true Vulcan. He is a hybrid. His mother was an Earthling, so he is only half Vulcan.”

“I see.”

“Mr. Spock wouldn’t like to admit it, but he and I have a lot more in common than you have been told. He was biologically engineered by his parents to be a splicing between species of two different cultures and planets. My molecules were reprogrammed so that I became a superhuman, if you will. But in the process, I was literally recreated into a freak while Mr. Spock just thinks he is.”

Spock glared at Khan, but Khan ignored him.

“How terrible for you, Mr. Khan!”

“Do not listen to him,” Spock cautioned. “He is trying to get your sympathy. He will entice you by a method similar to the dancing head of the cobra.”

“Are you telling me then that we have a hooded viper in Paradise?” she challenged. “How interesting! I will be having some diversion, apparently.”

“It is more than a game,” Spock cautioned. 

“Don’t listen to him, Doctor Kessler,” Khan likewise cautioned. “I am not the one who broke his arm and beat him senseless after my girlfriend stunned him multiple times with a phaser.”

Laura was shocked. “You did that, Mr. Spock?”

“He had caused the near-death of Captain Kirk. I regret that I lost my temper in the attempt to make Khan pay for his deed.”

Khan touched his jaw with his free hand. “I regret it, too.”

Spock looked up with blazing eyes. “It is not for your sake that I regret my actions. It is the fact that I was driven to lose my temper.”

“So much for his humanitarianism,” Khan said to Laura.

“Oh,” she mouthed and nodded. “I understand.”

“No, you do not understand,” Spock contradicted. “Already he is trying to influence your thinking and gain your sympathy. What I tell you is the truth. Khan is dangerous.”

“I realize that, Mr. Spock,” Laura soothed. “But I believe that you gentlemen are here on a humanitarian mission to see if this planet can soothe Khan’s wild tendencies since he was altered. Just think what that could mean to him if he was helped, Mr. Spock. We could bring him peace. Wouldn’t that help erase all of the trouble there has been between all of you?”

“I am ready to try, Doctor Kessler,” Khan admitted.

“You see, Mr. Spock?” she cajoled. “He is willing to undergo treatment. He is ready to improve himself. Maybe he can even be able to redeem himself in your eyes.”

“I doubt it,” Spock rejoined and almost allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “He has little say in the matter. It is this method, or back to the deep freeze.”

“That is harsh, Mr. Spock,” she said with an unsmiling, almost shocked face. “Freezing a man is worse than death. It is a non-death.”

“It is not something that is unknown to him,” Spock explained. "He is accustomed to cryogenic sleep."

Laura whipped around to look at Khan. 

“He’s right, Doctor, about the double negatives and everything. I am reconstituted, probably something similar to the fake cream that you add to your coffee in the morning.”

She frowned. “You poor man.”

Her sympathy rather surprised both men.

“I thought you would be outraged,” Spock said.

“I am. Especially at the people who keep freezing and defrosting him.”

“Actually, it isn’t so bad,” Khan explained. “I just take a couple of breaths, and then there is nothing.” He glared at Spock. “But the last time I did that, I opened my eyes and HE was there,” he said, nodding at Spock, “looking down at me. I thought I was having a recurring nightmare. But it was actually worse than a nightmare. It was reality.”

“Now, gentlemen, I must insist that we leave off discussing such serious topics. The afternoon is beautiful, and the gardens are at their full potential. You will give the blossoms a complex if you insist on being so serious all the time. They will think that they are quite unappreciated. Now, we three are going to stroll down this lovely pathway and admire my glorious roses. Mr. Spock, have you ever seen blossoms so large on a hybrid tea?”

“I regret that I am not an expert in rose horticulture, madam.”

“Well, Mr. Khan, then. Are your favorites, the pinks or the reds?”

“Well, ah, I suppose the pinks.”

“Mr. Spock?”

“The pinks, also, madam.”

“There! See? You two gentlemen can agree on something, can’t you? I believe that you will find that you will have other areas in which you can also agree. All it will take is some interrelating and some compromises from everyone.”

“You need to be at a negotiation table rather than a laboratory, Dr. Kessler,” Khan said.

“Why, thank you, Mr. Khan! So should you! Mr. Spock, what would you have to say to that? Are you a negotiator? Would you be at the same table with Mr. Khan?”

“If Khan Noonien Singh is at a negotiation table, I will be sitting across from him. Never on the same side.”

“Alright, you two boys!” she said with a playful stomp of her tiny foot. “We’ll have no more of your ill humors! We are going to get along and have good times together. You just wait and see!”

The two men just glared at each other.

“I tell you what,” Laura said suddenly, “Mr. Khan, have you read the classics in Nineteenth Century Russian literature?”

Khan visibly pulled himself back into her conversation. It was impolite not to answer a lady when she asked a question. “Yes. Yes, I have, Doctor,” he answered, all the while glaring at Spock.

“Who do you consider the greater writer, Tolstoy or Dostoyevsky?”

Khan looked back at her. “That argument has raged for hundreds of years, madam. And you propose that I solve it now?”

Laura laughed lightly. “I would like you to take a stab at it; yes.”

“Well, I suppose I would have to pick Tolstoy. He wrote War and Peace and Anna Karenina, two of the greatest pieces of fiction ever produced on Earth.”

“Excellent!“ She turned. “How about you, Mr. Spock? I suppose you will take Dostoyevsky simply because Mr. Khan didn’t?”

“Tolstoy was perhaps better known,” Spock answered, “but Dostoyevsky did write wonderful works such as The Brothers Karamazov, Crime and Punishment, and the Idiot.”

“They are great works, also, Mr. Spock,” Laura agreed.

Spock continued. “Now, if you wish to discuss greatest Nineteenth Century fiction of the Earth, another interesting comparison would be between Tolstoy and Charles Dickens of England.”

Laura clapped her hands together. “Oh, what a wonderful suggestion! That proposition must be debated, also!”

Khan gave Spock a wily, but appreciative look. “If I am not mistaken, I believe that Mr. Spock very cleverly evaded your question, Madam. And I believe he did that to cloud the fact that he quite agreed with my choice of Tolstoy over Dostoyevsky.”

Laura dropped her mouth open in amazement and turned to Spock. “And did you do what Mr. Khan accused you of?!”

“I may have,” Spock admitted.

“You naughty boy!” Laura chided.

“Or I may not have.” Spock was suddenly enjoying this repartee, despite the fact that he was debating with Khan. He was never one to turn away from a good discussion, despite his opponent.

“Oh, you’re going to be noncommittal, are you?” She looked between the two men whose dark eyes were shining with interest and camaraderie instead of the hatred and mistrust they reflected only a few moments ago.

“I’ll tell you what,” Laura said as she tucked her hands into their arms. “This discussion must be continued at dinner so Len and Captain Kirk may participate, also!” She smiled at each man and received enthusiastic smiles in return.

“Oh, how entertaining this all is going to be!” Laura declared. “Come, I must take you gentlemen to your rooms and allow you to rest. Tonight is a big occasion, you see. You will be the guests of honor at our table, and everything must be just right for you!” 

And she sailed away with the two men on her arms again. But they were much different men than the ones who had begun their stroll with their charming hostess.

 

Jim Kirk stepped out of his room and smiled benignly at Spock and Khan who stood waiting for him in the upper hallway of McCoy‘s home. How odd to see them standing quietly together. He wondered idly when they had decided to be civil to each other. 

Kirk nodded at them graciously. “Gentlemen.”

They nodded back and mumbled greetings.

“You look properly attired for dinner. I believe that we may now descend to the dining room, if you are ready?”

“Of course, Captain.”

Khan simply nodded his assent.

“I understand that we are to dress formally every evening for dinner. We won’t simply eat an evening meal at the McCoy home, gentlemen. We will dine.”

Spock, ever the officer and the gentleman, stiffened. “Yes, Captain.”

“Gentlemen, I believe that this will be good for us to mind our manners for a change.”

“Civilization comes to the hinterland,” Khan commented. “Protocol must be maintained if culture is to advance.”

“My sentiments exactly, Khan. We are only civilized if we act like it.” Kirk swept his hand out. “Shall we?”

The three marched down the open staircase to the downstairs open hall.

“This place looks like a movie set out of a 1930s musical. I thought as much when I first saw it,” Jim Kirk mumbled. He and his group stood looking around inside the grand entrance hall of McCoy's home that was part of the new medical complex on Narsarya B. The shiny floor was covered with the regulation black and white checkerboard parquet, and twin staircases curved daintily to an open landing on the second floor. “Don‘t be surprised if Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers come dancing across the room at any moment. Or Lionel Barrymore may come out demanding to know if Dr. Kildaire is out on house calls this evening.”

“Who is he talking about?” the skeletal man in morbid black clothing demanded of Spock.

“I believe that Captain Kirk is referring to American actors of the Nineteen Thirties era. He is quite the film buff.” 

“Oh,” answered Khan Noonien Singh.

At that moment, a tall door opened and Laura Kessler swept out in a long mauve lace evening gown. Diamonds twinkled at her throat and ears. 

“Gentlemen!” Laura greeted. Her eyes shone with excitement. “How grand all of you look this evening! Len, darling!” she said, turning to McCoy who walked behind her in formal tails. “Don’t our guests look utterly delightful?!”

McCoy beamed at her. “Yes, dear, they do.” Then he turned to the three men and graciously swept his hand backward. “Gentlemen? Won’t you join us for dinner?”

The party of five entered the dining room chatting politely, and another gracious meal began at the home of Leonard McCoy and Laura Kessler.


	4. Chapter 4

When Laura laid her napkin beside her plate after the dessert course, everyone realized that was the signal that the meal was finished.

“Gentlemen,” Laura began, “it has been a pleasure to dine with four such elegant gentlemen. I do not know when it has delighted me more.”

The four men beamed back at her, the perfect hostess.

“Len, darling, supposing you take Mr. Spock and Mr. Khan into the drawing room for whatever gentlemen do there after dining,” Laura said with a small wrinkle of her nose. She turned enormous blue eyes on Jim Kirk. “And I am going to conduct Captain Kirk on a private tour of the gardens. He missed my earlier endeavor to showcase our grounds to our visitors.” She nodded at Kirk. “If that is satisfactory with Captain Kirk, of course.”

Kirk inclined his head in her direction. “A gentleman never contradicts a lady, especially one who is so charming as our capable hostess.”

“Thank you, Captain.“ She turned to the table in general. “If you other gentlemen will excuse us, then?” Laura inquired.

The other three murmured their assent as Kirk jumped up and helped Laura from her chair. She took his arm and they sailed out of the ceiling-to-floor French doors and onto the veranda that led into the darkening evening.

“Isn’t the evening lovely, Captain Kirk?”

“Yes, it is,” Kirk agreed as he looked around the garden before them, then back at her. “But not as lovely as my charming hostess.”

She smiled in appreciation. This friend of Len‘s knew how to play the game. “Why, Captain Kirk, such a gracious compliment. I do believe you are from the Deep South.”

“Well, the south part of the Great Plains, ma’am. Actually, Iowa.”

“Of course. Len said you grew corn at one time, I believe.”

Kirk laughed. “Actually, that’s just part of the state song. It says, ‘Iowa, Iowa, that’s where the tall corn grows.’ It’s like saying that every woman from your home state is a Georgia peach.” He looked down at her in appreciation. “But in your case, it’s true.”

“I believe you need to check your lineage chart more carefully, sir. I do believe there might well have been a Rebel boy somewhere on your family tree.” She took his arm. “Shall we walk in the garden? It’s lovely just as dusk is settling in.”

“Yes, it is,” he agreed.

They stepped off the veranda and into the gathering twilight. Kirk could understand her pleasure for this time of the evening. 

They strolled among the various live oak trees.

“Imported from Earth?” Kirk asked as he nodded at the trees sweeping toward the ground.

“No need,” she said brightly. Her other hand rested on top of her hand that clutched his arm. “This planet has that marvelous capacity to recreate anything we desire.”

“Of course,” he agreed with a smile. “I’d almost forgotten.” 

“Of course, you knew that the live oak is the state tree of Georgia.“

“No, I didn’t. But I do now.“ He looked around in appreciation. “They look so real, don’t they?”

“Yes,” she answered with a laugh to her voice. “The world of illusion. Ours for the taking. No wonder Len loves it so much here.”

“I expect that most of the reason is because you are here,” Kirk said gallantly.

“Oh, sir, you do flatter me!” She clutched at his arm. “You really do need to look into that family tree of yours!”

“Just a natural born talent of being a bull shipper from way back. That talent is universal. And I do mean, universal.”

“And I appreciate it wherever I encounter it, Captain.”

“So do I, Dr. Kessler.”

“Please. It really must be ‘Laura.’”

“If it will be ‘Jim’ for me.”

“Certainly, Jim. You know, I believe I will call you ‘James,’ if you don’t mind. I do believe that fits you better.”

He grinned at her. “I would be honored, Laura.” Then he really looked down at her. “You know, ever since we got here, I’ve tried to think who you remind me of. I thought at first that it was Myrna Loy, then I thought Rosalind Russell. No, I thought, Norma Shearer. Definitely, Norma Shearer. Or maybe a combination of all three.”

Laura laughed lightly. “I remind you of American actresses of the 1930s? Am I really that ancient looking to you?”

He laid his free hand on top of hers on his arm. “No, that ageless,” he said sincerely. “That elegant.”

“Why, thank you.”

“Just look at your clothing. Long sleeves flowing down your arm and caught at the wrists. A dramatic V-neck and built-up shoulders. A pageboy hairdo by day, an upsweep by night. Dining formally.” He looked around him. “Elegant, romantic gardens to showcase you to perfection.”

“James! I really must protest! The way you go on! You flatter a lady so!”

Kirk stopped and looked at her strangely. “You really aren’t from the 1930s, are you?”

“What are you talking about? If I was originally from that time, I would be long dead by now.”

“Not if you were an Augment.”

“James! Stop your teasing!” She searched his face and sobered. “You aren’t teasing, are you?”

“No, I’m not.” He took a deep breath. “Do you know what Khan really is?”

“He and Mr. Spock were having quite a discussion about it this afternoon. But it was mostly in heated terms of why I should avoid him. I learned nothing really construction about him. I have, of course, heard Len mention him. Mostly, during the terrible time when Len almost lost you. He always talks about that time with tears in his eyes and ashes in his mouth. I have never tried to question him too much about what happened.”

“My ‘death’ was inadvertently caused by Khan. Only his blood could restore life back to me.”

“What is he, anyway?” she asked in a voice that sounded afraid to ask, but she had to know the truth.

“Back in the Twentieth Century, he was a human who was genetically engineered to be superhuman to fight for peace in the world. I won’t get into his whole history, but there were problems, his people were decimated, and he and his crew have been waiting, frozen, to be awakened at some time in the future when they could be used for better purposes. He is trying desperately to help his frozen crew now, but he got tangled up with current politics and power struggles. My organization wants to see if he can be rehabilitated. I thought that maybe the lotus flowers on this planet could be used to help him.”

“Why, that poor man,” Laura said in sympathy as she turned aside. “No wonder he looks like he has the weight of the universe on his shoulders. He does.”

“Perhaps I should have let Bones tell you all this,” he said.

“No, no, that’s fine,” she said, turning back to him. “We’ll just help him any way we can,” she said, looking up at him cheerfully. “Won’t we?”

How could he say ‘no’ to that dazzling smile or those shining eyes?

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Laura. Remember?”

“Yes, ma’am. I mean, Laura.”

“Good,” she said as she hugged his arm.

“What is that roar?” He looked down at her. “Is that a waterfall?”

“Yes, sir!”

“James,” he reprimanded.

“James,” she repeated back with a smile. “And here it is,” she announced as they stepped around a large tree.

“Wow!” Kirk said in awe as he stared at the tumbling, frothing water. “It really is something, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is. It’s a special spot to Len and me, you know.”

He glanced down at her. “Really?”

“It’s where we met.” She laughed. “It’s where he decided I was a wood nymph. He said I just suddenly appeared to him one day, right here where you and I are standing now.”

“Wow. And did you?”

“Did I what? Suddenly appear to him? Well, yes, but I felt the same way about him. I was part of the scientific contingency from Earth which had arrived here several months before. I believe Len had mentioned that we were coming.”

“Yes. I remember his saying something about that now, one night when he and I were out drinking with Spock.”

“Anyway, I was exploring the area near our facility one day and came across these beautiful gardens. Then, suddenly, Len was in front of me, and that’s how we met.”

They had began walking aimlessly through the trees again in the general direction of the house.

“So, you are part of the scientists studying this planet.”

“Yes. As a behavioral scientist, I will be the logical choice to be working with Mr. Khan.”

“That‘s what I understand.”

“I know that Len would rather that he be the one working with such a potentially dangerous patient, though. Len is a wonderful general practitioner, as you well know. But he’s too rough around the edges to work with someone in as delicate a condition as Mr. Khan is in.”

“You don’t understand just what Khan is, ma’am. Laura.”

“He will be my patient,” she said stoutly. “That’s all I need to know.”

“Wow,” he said with admiration. “I think Bones found himself a winner. You’re no pushover, lady. And no shrinking violet, either.”

“I certainly hope not.” She took his arm again and meandered toward the house. “Now that the serious talk is over, I hope that we will become good friends, James.”

He stopped and smiled down at her with fondness. “I hope so, too, Laura.”

They stood at the edge of the veranda.

Kirk glanced around to get his bearings. He frowned. “I thought the waterfall was over that awhile ago.”

“It’s wherever you want it to be, James,” she said with a mysterious air to her soft voice, then laughed lightly at his consternation. “We came back through the trees differently. We’re on a different side of the house. This is a wrap-around veranda on two sides of the house. You know, like a wrap-around porch is on two sides of a house?”

“Remind me never to come out here at night without a map, or you.”

“That sounds alarmingly like an invitation to a tryst, Captain Kirk,” she said with a laugh.

“No, ma’am, I didn’t intend--”

“I know,” she said with another merry laugh. “Just go along with it, though, huh? We have so little to entertain us here.”

“I’m not looking forward to a duel with McCoy for fraternizing with his wife, if you don‘t mind,” he muttered.

“Oh, gracious!” she said with a jolly laugh. “Gentlemen fighting over me! What fun!” She looked up. “Oh, here we are, back at the door to the dining room. See we made it, after all. And without giving Len a reason to challenge you to a duel.”

He stopped her before they stepped inside the house. “A duel, huh? I suppose it would be another illusion, just like that waterfalls of yours.”

“James!” she remonstrated. “Silly you! That waterfalls is real.” She winked up at him. “But the trees move around, though.”

He looked around into the darkening landscape. “Now, that I would believe,” he said grimly.

Laughing, she grabbed his arm. “Oh, James, you are a treasure!” Then she led him toward the house.

Suddenly, they stopped. They heard music, 1930s music, coming from the open veranda door. Kirk listened, then his eyes began to shine.

“Is that Irving Berlin?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

“’Cheek to Cheek‘?”

“Yes. Len and I love to dance to those old songs out here on the veranda. He must have started it when he realized that we were nearly back from our stroll.” 

“It’s lovely, out here in this setting,” Kirk said in awe. He extended his hand. “Madam, would you allow me?”

“Of course! I thought you’d never ask!” and she whirled away with him.

Kirk smiled down at the lovely woman in his arms, and almost wished that she wasn’t married to a friend of his. An elusive Kay Francis? he thought? An elfish Deanna Durbin? A mixture, once again, perhaps.

As he twirled, he saw that they had been joined by three gentlemen in the near shadows. At that moment, the song ‘Change Partners’ began, and Kirk handed Laura off to Spock.

For all of his gruffness, Spock could be the elegant gentleman as he smoothly led Laura around the veranda. Kirk watched in appreciation with the other two men.

Spock finally handed her off to Khan. Kirk was amazed that Khan took her hand in a courtly gesture and twirled her away over the veranda. His lack of medication was indeed working. 

Just before the song ended, Khan handed her off to McCoy who beamed and led his wife away in his arms. At that moment the song changed to ‘They Can’t Take That Away from Me.’

The three bachelors watched the two dancers lost in their own little world for a few moments, then Kirk looked at the other two and said, “Gentlemen, I believe that is our cue. Shall we call it an evening? I believe that our host and hostess will never miss us.”

The three were followed by the music across the entrance hall and up the grand staircase to the second floor where they parted.

Khan went toward his room. As Kirk’s and Spock’s rooms were adjoining, they walked along together.

“Neighbors, just like on the Enterprise, right, Mr. Spock?”

“Precisely, Captain.”

“I’ve been curious all evening, Mr. Spock.”

“About?”

“Our dinner discussion. Russian literature? Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky? Tolstoy and Dickens? It was interesting and stimulating, but how did you or Khan ever come up with those topics?”

Spock allowed himself a grin of appreciation. “It was not us, Captain.”

“Oh?”

“Dr. Kessler got us started on the discussion this afternoon in the garden. I believe that she plucked the topic out of the air, as you would say, to divert Khan and me before we started trading blows. It was rather amazing that she hit on a field that interested both of us. In fact, I believe that she is rather amazing herself.”

“Oh? That sounds as if you quite approve of Dr. McCoy’s choice.”

“Quite, Captain. Dr. Kessler has excellent taste, from cuisine to music.”

“You seem quite taken by Laura.”

“She is a fascinating lady. She has created a wonderful world for her and Dr. McCoy. I did not fully realize how romantic the 1930s must have been.”

They paused and listened to the music a moment. The strains of ‘Cheek to Cheek’ floated up the stairway to them. They knew that McCoy and Laura were still outside on the veranda, dancing to the magic melody.

“Doctor McCoy is a lucky man, Mr. Spock.”

“That he is, Captain. It is unusual to see him so well settled.”

“Yes. He is contended,” Kirk said with a smile. “That’s what true wedded bliss is all about.”

“It is a strange phenomena. I am curious to understand how the young lady is feeling. She seems to be in rapture.”

“Yes, she is. I‘m certain that is what Laura felt from the time she met McCoy until now.” 

“Odd.”

Kirk gave him a tolerant smile. “Spock, you just haven‘t been around people who are newly in love. They do exist, and now you are finally getting to witness their happiness for yourself.” 

“Nyota and I enjoyed a great deal of wonderment when our relationship was new.“

“Granted. But you didn’t commit the way McCoy and Laura have done. There is another layer of pleasure from investing so heavily in a future together. That’s what separates a fling from a lifetime together.“

“Nyota and I did not have a ‘fling.‘” He said it as if it were something loathsome, which it was.

“Sorry. Wrong word. How about ‘relationship?‘”

“I like that better.“

“So do I. The other only cheapens Nyota. And she is a fine lady.“

“Very fine. She might have enjoyed visiting Doctor McCoy and Doctor Kessler. This atmosphere of this home would have pleased Nyota.“

Kirk looked at him. “I know that you and Doctor McCoy haven’t really hit it off on this visit, and I don’t understand why. But that is your business.“

“We really haven’t had that much a chance to ‘visit’ with each other, Captain.“ 

“It has only been today that we arrived, isn’t it?“ Kirk frowned. “It seems longer. In some ways, it’s seemed like days.“

“This planet could cause a telescoping effect with time, I suppose. Are you taking your supplements, Captain?“

“With every meal. And do I feel vigorous!“

“Well, I suppose that could be a good side effect of the planet that we wouldn’t want to discourage, would we?“

“No. More stamina is always a good idea. Oh, I’m curious about something else, also. Just what did you three guys find to discuss while Doctor Kessler and I were out in the garden? What did you three have in common?”

“Quantum physics.”

“Well, if you don’t want to tell me, you don‘t need to. That is your business, I suppose. I was just curious, that‘s all.”

“Really, Captain. Quantum physics. But that did not last very long.”

“Well, I can imagine. After all, it is such a ‘small‘ topic.” His eyes were full of mischief as they slid toward Spock.

“Really, Captain. Must you?” Spock asked with a sigh.

“Sorry. Guess I’m getting a little punchy. It has been a long day. Anyway, after you exhausted the topic of quantum physics, what did you do?”

“Doctor McCoy showed us the garden with the use of the night vision cameras. We watched you and Doctor Kessler talking down at the waterfalls.”

“So, if I’d stolen a kiss--”

“We would have all been witnesses.”

Kirk frowned. “Hmm.” Laura had to know about the night vision cameras and that Bones would turn them on. What was she? Some exhibitionist for her husband? Did that get McCoy’s juices running? Kirk couldn’t quite imagine Leonard McCoy in the role of voyeur, but people change. And, apparently, marriage had changed McCoy. 

Kirk didn’t blame McCoy for keeping an eye on his wife. Laura was a beautiful woman. Kirk wouldn’t mind watching her some more, himself.

But she was McCoy’s wife.

Kirk stirred himself. “Well, Mr. Spock. It is getting late. I will see you in the morning.”

“Good evening, Captain.”

They returned to their rooms and soon to their individual beds. But for a long time, the music of Irving Berlin lilted softly through that magical house on Narsarya B.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, Bones, got a minute?”

“I know what that means,” McCoy said with a smile as he closed the account file on his computer. “My work is over for the day.”

“Do you mind?”

“Hell, no. Pull up a chair. Want anything to drink?”

“Have you ever seen me turn down a drink?”

“Hell, no,” McCoy repeated. “Is bourbon okay?”

“Always.”

McCoy glanced at Kirk’s face as he handed him the drink. “Well, is everyone getting settled in okay?”

“Yes,” Kirk answered as he accepted the drink. “Spock and I are mingling with the populace as we‘d planned. We‘re trying to do it systematically this time around. Government officials one day, educators the next, then business people, then whatever strikes our fancy. It still feels like we‘re gobbling, though. There‘s just so many ways to turn.”

“I know the feeling. That‘s the way it is with me and medicine.”

“Oh, medicine! Spock and I have barely scratched the surface there!”

“Sorry I haven‘t been able to spend too much time with you, except socially.”

Kirk waved him away. “Think nothing of it! You and Laura have your own work to do. We three are happy we get you in the evenings.”

McCoy smiled fondly. “Those are good times, aren‘t they? Good food, good conversation, just a good feeling all the way around. Dinner and dancing. It doesn‘t get any better than that.”

“I‘m having fun with the 1930s cinema after the dancing, also. Laura is an expert. Seeing a different film each night with her commentary and insights has been a treat. I understand it’s a Thin Man movie tonight.“

“That‘s what I‘ve heard,“ McCoy agreed with a smile. “Nick and Nora Charles and their wire fox terrier Asta will solve another crime with style and humor. Those films are great! But tomorrow we’re going to see Destry Rides Again with Marlene Dietrich and Jimmy Stewart. I love Westerns! Especially those old B Westerns with guys like Randolph Scott and Bob Steele. I would have loved acting in those old Westerns. I think I‘d want to play the bad guy. Wouldn‘t that have been fun?!“

Rarely had Kirk seen McCoy so animated. Marriage and Narsarya B must really be agreeing with him. “The 1930s were great years, that’s for sure. Spock and Khan are even developing an interest in the era.” Kirk smiled. “You know, I think that all of this has been good for Khan. Now that I think about it, this interrelating with people should be part of his rehabilitation. I’ll try talking to him more. He‘s never known what it was like to settle back and enjoy people and culture. Or, if he ever did have a chance to experience it, it‘s been so far back that he can‘t remember it. I‘m sure he was a normal person three hundred years ago, before someone started tampering with his body and turning him into something monstrous.”

“It was a good idea, I suppose, three hundred years ago. But the full ramifications weren‘t dealt with beforehand.”

“How could they have been? Super humans had never been created before. Maybe they never should have been. But that‘s no reason to shuffle them off to a corner and tell them to die like some unwanted vermin.”

McCoy grinned. “So Crusading Kirk rides across the prairie to bring justice to the oppressed once more.”

“If you look real close at that crusader riding beside me, the one without the pointed ears, you might recognize the guy that looks back at you every morning in the mirror.”

“Yeah,” McCoy conceded with a sigh. “Show me a damn cause to fight for, and I‘m your man.”

“I know you are, Bones. And thanks. I know that‘s why I chose to bring Khan here. I knew you‘d be right beside me. You and Spock.”

McCoy sighed. “Never thought I‘d be sitting down socially with Khan Noonien Singh at my dinner table.” He eyed Kirk closer. “You look like you’ve been doing some heavy thinking.”

“I have. Bones, do you think that this project with Khan is going along okay?”

“Well, I haven’t been paying a whole lot of attention. My mind’s been on a lot of other projects, and I’ve just let Laura deal with Khan. He’s her patient, not mine.”

Kirk took another sip from his glass, then gave it an appreciative look. “That’s pretty good bourbon.”

“The best illusion that this planet can provide,” McCoy said with pride. “Now, what’s on your mind?”

“Is it wise to let Laura deal with Khan?” Kirk asked as he sat forward.

“He’s responding very well to treatment. I thought you said he’d probably go along with whatever we said for the welfare of his crew.”

“Yes,” Kirk replied with a frown. “It’s just that she’s a woman.”

“Laura can handle herself. I’d feel sorrier for Khan if he tried anything.”

“But she’s, I don’t know, clingy….”

“Flirty? Go ahead and say it, Jim.” He glanced around. “She loves this 1930s atmosphere. And she loves playing the vamp. When I first met her, she was kind of mousey. Then this planet went to work on her, and you can see the results. She wasn’t always a man killer. I’m willing to let her have this illusion. She’s lived without being appreciated for so many years. What‘s the harm in letting her have some fun?”

“I say that she’s one lucky lady. I’d be so jealous I would hide her in the attic and not let her out when other men were around.”

“If I can trust her with you, I sure as hell can trust her with Khan Noonien Singh!”

Kirk laughed.

“The only thing I really worry about is that she will adopt Khan,” McCoy continued. “She responds to the needy. That’s what first attracted her to me.”

“And here I figured it was your Southern charm.”

“Now, that’s my illusion, sir.” His face cleared. “But I know the truth. And that’s why I plan to stay needy as hell around her!”

Kirk laughed again.

“And that part, sir, is extremely easy!” McCoy continued.

“Oh, Bones, this does remind me of our Enterprise days when we used to sit around and shoot the breeze with each other.”

“Yeah,” McCoy agreed with a faraway look in his eyes. “I know. But now you’re trying to rehabilitate Khan. Have you ever figured out why it is so important to you?”

Kirk thought. “Well, there is that little business of his saving my life by giving me his blood.”

“I don‘t know if ‘giving‘ is exactly the right term for that procedure. I took it from him and rather forcefully. Of course, he was in no shape to protest my rough handling. I was more concerned about keeping you alive than making Khan comfortable.”

“I understood that Spock about took Khan’s head off before he brought Khan back.”

“He was trying for it. And the only reason that Spock left anything at all to salvage is that Khan was your only chance for survival. It was kind of a love/hate relationship that Spock had for Khan at that moment. If it hadn‘t been for your need, Spock probably would have tossed Khan overboard. It would‘ve been worse for Khan, I think, if Spock had held onto him and kept pounding away at him. Spock sure lost his temper that day. That little bastard can sure get on a high horse when he gets pissed off, can‘t he?”

“Getting angry is one thing, but getting over being angry is another. I don‘t know how you managed to settle him down.”

“I didn’t. It was just his concern for you that kept him from busting up sickbay trying to get to Khan again. I thought his knuckles were broken by the time he got Khan back to the Enterprise. I didn‘t know which one to treat first: you, or Khan, or Spock. You see, Spock was crying.”

Kirk frowned. “Crying?”

“Yeah. Tears were running down his face like he’d turned on a water tap. And he was trembling, either from adrenaline or anger, I don’t know which. It could even have been fear, fear for you. As I say, I don’t know.”

“Helluva choice,” Kirk mumbled.

“I do know that I had to take a moment from you and Khan. I had to be a friend to Spock. I didn’t even realize I felt that way about him until that moment. I had to let him know that I understood what he was going through and that I was there for him. But the words wouldn‘t come out. So I went basic. I grabbed him in a fierce hug. He fought me for a second. ‘No!’ he pleaded. ‘Jim!’ But I held on, and then he grabbed me back. I felt him give way and cling to me. His hands were all over me, pleading through them. Then I felt him relax and sort of crumple against me. That shook me as nothing else could have. He’d always seemed so tough, so stalwart. I had no idea he could tremble in fear like that. Something broke loose in me, I don’t know what. Call it protectiveness. Call it compassion. Call it love. I don’t know which. Maybe it was all three. I just knew I would take on anybody or anything that wanted to harm this being that needed me as much as he needed me in that moment. The old mother hen broke out in me, I guess. Spock was so fragile, and he was mine to protect. And I intended to protect him.”

Kirk was looking at McCoy in awe. McCoy had never been able to express himself this openly before. It must be the influence from Narsarya B or Laura Kessler or both that had humanized him.

McCoy frowned. “But I knew, too, that I had to get to you. I squeezed Spock once, real hard, then kissed his cheek. That startled the both of us. We stared dumbly at each other while the sounds of sickbay washed around us. Then Uhura screamed your name in my ear, and that brought me out of it. I pushed Spock into Uhura’s arms and ran to you and Khan. The staff was preparing you both, and I worked like a maniac to get Khan‘s blood into you in time to save you.”

Kirk could see the toll it was taking on McCoy simply to relate the story. Going through the experience must have been horrendous.

“I kept seeing Uhura holding Spock up, and Spock gasping for breath, as if his primary concern was watching the operation. Breathing was secondary, but necessary. And he did it only because he had to maintain life for himself. But he wanted to concentrate on what I was doing, too. I didn’t have the heart to order him out, although he needed to get out of there for his own good. I think I needed him there with me. It’s crazy, but your crisis brought Spock and me closer together than we had ever been before.”

McCoy glanced at Jim, as if suddenly remembering that he was there. “At one point, though, I glanced at him and he looked like he was going to pass out. It was sheer grit keeping him going. I said, ’Spock, out!’ and I meant it. He wasn’t going to be any good to you if he passed out, and I sure as hell couldn’t have taken it if he had. I think that would’ve put me over the edge. Too many broken bodies of friends lying around, I suppose. I had to think of him, though. He needed to be out of there. So I told him to get out. But he looked up at me with those dying calf eyes of his. I swear if he’d said ’No!’ or anything challenging like that, he would’ve been out of there on his ass.”

McCoy smirked, remembering. “But he played dirty. He looked up and said to me ’Please’ in a voice as soft as that. And I folded.” McCoy shook his head in disbelief. “I could’ve taken anything, but that. I felt tears spring into my own eyes. I wanted to bawl. And I wanted to hug him again. I didn’t have time to do either, but I knew I’d feel better if I could just get my arms around him again. We both would’ve. I could feel the pull to be with him as I looked at him from across the room. I know he felt it, too. At least it gave me the shot of energy I needed to finish with you.“

“It sounds like Khan and I had the easy part of that day,” Kirk muttered.

“As soon as I could, I checked Spock out.” McCoy grinned. “Chapel had already done some down-home, old fashioned remedies on him. His hands were soaking in ice water and Chapel was spooning hot broth into him. Uhura had thrown a blanket over his shoulders and was rubbing his back. It was every man’s dream. Two beautiful women were clucking over him. And did it make any impression on him?” McCoy grinned again. “As the old song says, he only had eyes for me, or words of that nature.”

“He didn’t take advantage of the women fussing over him?”

“I don’t believe so. I finally got him to lie down only after I promised not to leave you and to tell him if there was any change in you. But that didn’t last long. Damned idiot hovered worse than a hovercraft over your bed for days, in spite of what I’d told him about his own resting and eating. I don’t know who was worse in that department, though. Him or me. But we didn’t want to miss seeing you wake up, or to be there if things with you suddenly went sour. If you weren‘t going to make it, we both wanted to make damned sure you didn‘t have to face that journey alone.” He bit his lips together, remembering. “Besides, we just couldn’t be anywhere else.“

“Thanks,“ Kirk said sincerely. “I understand. I would’ve been the same way if it’d been one of you guys.“

“I know. So you know the situation with him and me watching you.“

“Yeah?“

“Tell me, what was the first thing you saw after you woke up? After you saw me near your bed, that is?”

“One cool looking Vulcan watching me.”

“With about a half dozen happy pills holding him together, thanks to me.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah. Uhura and Chapel were hovering nearby to catch him, though, if need be.”

“He let you drug him?” Kirk said with amazement.

“It wasn’t a matter of letting. He couldn’t have held together, otherwise. It was only by sheer effort and those pills, of course, that he was able to be there at all. It was certainly against my better judgment. But I knew he wasn‘t going to let anything stop him from being there, let alone me.”

“The little shrimp,” Kirk muttered in awe.

“Yeah, I figured he never let you in on that that little detail.”

“And after I went back to sleep?”

“The ladies stayed with you, and I took Spock to bed.”

Kirk gave him a lazy, flirty look. “And did what with him?”

“Jim! It was nothing like that!”

“Why not? One pill-happy alien? One relieved doctor? The women were there with me? Sounds like a sweet setup all the way around to me. I’d been happy with the ladies for company. You guys surely should’ve made yourselves happy. That situation with you two should‘ve kept a set of sheets scorching all night.”

“We were wrung out, emotionally and physically. I just grabbed his elbow and propelled him out of sickbay while Uhura and Chapel yelled something after us about both of us needing rest. I yelled back that I knew that, that I was going to take care of it, and that I didn‘t need any help from anybody to do just that. I found us a quiet, nearly dark room and led him to this little, narrow bed. By this time, he was about asleep on his feet, but that single bed registered with him. He looked up at me like he wanted to ask me about a hundred questions about this sudden development, but couldn’t quite get his mouth to working. I told him that I was going to lie down with him. That’s when he dropped his mouth open a mile in surprise.“

“No wonder,“ Kirk murmured. “Sorry to interrupt, Bones.“ He pulled his arms around himself and smiled in appreciation. “I’m loving this story! Go on. Please, do. I‘ll try not to interrupt, unless I‘m wanting more details, of course. Sometimes your stories get damned skimpy.“ He smiled deepened. “But this one is great, so far!”

“I wouldn’t want to get you all hot and bothered, though.”

Kirk gave him a flirty look. “Reminiscent of our old Academy days when we were roommates and I would come in drunk or beaten up or both, and you copped a feel trying to help me?”

McCoy looked aghast. “I did not!”

“You did, too! Relax. If I wouldn’t have enjoyed it, I wouldn’t have let you get away with it. Besides, there were plenty of times when we both came in drunk and horny, and played a lot of handsy with each other. But probably the best were the times you just THOUGHT I was over the edge, and I wasn’t.” He smiled in remembrance. “Nah. I lie. The best were the times you were way worse off than I was. You didn’t mind anything I did. And then there were the other times when drinking really didn‘t need to be involved, just good feelings.“ His voice drifted off in happy remembrance, then he gave McCoy a flirty look. “Didn’t you ever wonder why we kept waking up together in just one bed?”

“You said you got cold! Or felt sick! Or got confused!”

“Not cold. Not sick. Certainly not confused.”

“I’ll be damned!”

“Probably. But hopefully not by what we did together. We were just young guys feeling our oats and liking our sex two hundred percent.”

“And now?”

“Any chance I get.”

“Still liking it two hundred percent?”

Kirk grinned in pleasure and pride. “Yep.”

McCoy grinned. “Good for you.” 

“Anyway, you got this drugged up Vulcan staring at you with his mouth open a mile because you’ve just more or less ordered him into a very narrow bed with you. I think I would’ve taken advantage of that opened mouth, by the way.”

“I wanted him to rest, damn it! Me, too. I wasn’t thinking of anything else at the moment.” He reconsidered. “Wait. I lie. That open mouth did look tempting, now that I think about it.”

“See?”

“Yeah,” McCoy conceded. “Now.”

“Anyway, back to the story,” Kirk prompted.

“Like I said, he looked stunned. But I gave him THE look so he’d know I meant business. When he complied and lay down, I crawled in behind him. There wasn’t a whole lot of room, but I figured we didn’t need that much, two skinny guys like us. I wrapped my arms around him, spooned him, and told him to shut up and go to sleep, although he hadn‘t said anything. I just knew I had to hug him, for both our sakes. I couldn’t wait a minute longer.“

“I could relate. I‘m starting to feel that need.“

McCoy glared at him. “Like I said, I started hugging him. It was like hugging a cedar log, though. He was that rigid. I just tightened my arms, hugged him a little closer, put my face against his neck, and let him feel my breath against his skin. I could tell he was crying again. I could feel tears running over my hands, but I didn’t let on. I expect some of my tears got his back wet. They were tears of joy and relief and exhaustion.“

McCoy frowned and stared at the pen in front of him as he played with it. “I told him that you were going to make it, and we weren’t going to lose you. I let him know that I wasn‘t going anywhere and that I would keep him safe from the world. I told him that the only thing in the world that was important to me for the moment was him and that we would see this thing through together. I told him I was going to protect him and he might as well get used to that fact. I babbled all kinds of stuff like that, and it felt like I was emptying my heart.”

McCoy grimaced and shoved the pen away. “It took awhile, but I eventually felt him relax, sigh, and snuggle back against me. It was like he couldn’t get close enough. I felt the same way. We scrunched around until there weren’t any empty spaces between us. We were welded together. We slept like that for hours. Nobody disturbed us. It was just him and me.”

Kirk gave him an appreciative look. “Still sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.”

“All we did was sleep!”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“His hands were sore from pounding on Khan! Spock was nearly incapacitated. I would‘ve been taking advantage of him.”

Kirk winked. “Better yet. You could‘ve seen if you could‘ve gotten his mouth to drop open two miles.”

“Jim!“

Kirk was grinning all over himself. “Just saying. I think you missed an opportunity there.“

“That might’ve been too much, too fast. We’d been just crew mates the day before. Besides, he was still seeing Uhura.”

“And now you’ve got Laura. Sounds like you and Spock just have your timing off. You keep missing each other.”

“What makes you think there was anything between Spock and me?”

“I didn’t say there was. I’m just saying that there should have been. You two are a natural.”

McCoy’s eyes glazed over in thought as he considered what Kirk said.

“Missing two hundred percent, Bones?” Kirk said softly.

“W-What?”

“It ain’t no sin, son. Not when it would be good for both of you.”

“I think representatives of any of the major Christian religions would really like to have a serious discussion with you!”

“Now, don’t get all your tail feathers ruffled. I’m just saying that I know a certain Vulcan who is unattached and in the immediate area. And it sure as hell sounds like some major ground work has already been done along those lines. It sounds like you got your foot in the door. Why don’t you see if you can get the rest of you inside? And I’m not necessarily meaning the door.”

“Now isn’t the time for some of your famous matchmaking, Jim. I’m kind of spoken for.“

“I understand that. But I also understand that you and Spock are still cool toward each other.“

McCoy shrugged. “We’ve both been busy. And you’ve added another player to our merry group of mischief makers. That kind of changes the complexion of the whole ballgame.” 

“I just don’t want my two best friends to be estranged. I don’t want you guys to drift apart. And if there would be the chance for something else….” He let his voice drift away in hopes that McCoy could eventually change the outcome of that story.

“It’ll be okay, Jim. Honest. Thanks for worrying, though. You’re a good friend.”


	6. Chapter 6

After Kirk left, McCoy settled back into his chair. Jim had stirred up an incident that McCoy had tried to forget. Now he just had to take that old memory through to its conclusion before he could push it aside again into its special niche.

He hadn’t intended recalling that past event, but seeing Spock again and then that conversation with Jim had brought everything thundering back.

McCoy hadn’t been entirely honest with Jim Kirk. Well, he had as far as he had gone, he just had not told Jim the whole memory.

Well, to be completely honest, he had lied through his teeth to Kirk.

True, he’d spooned Spock, and they’d slept the sleep of the dead. Untrue, that they hadn’t done anything.

McCoy awoke, it could’ve been an hour, it could’ve been five hours since he‘d gone to sleep with Spock cradled in his arms, he had no way of knowing. But something was irritating his face, like a furry beastie crawling along his lips and cheeks. He tried to reach a hand out to wipe the irritant off his face and discovered that he couldn’t move either hand. They seemed to be incapable of any movement.

What the--

McCoy opened his eyes and found that he was lying on his back with his hands firmly pinned above his head by one of Spock‘s hands. Spock himself was leaning over him and blowing on McCoy’s face.

“What the?!” McCoy repeated out loud

“Hello, doctor. Have you slept well?”

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“So, talk!”

“I wanted your full attention.”

“You’ve got it! Now, what is so damned important that you have to wake me out of a sound sleep and pin me to the bed?!”

“I wanted to thank you for saving Jim’s life.”

“Some folks would just say ‘thanks, Doc.’ Or take me out to dinner. Or buy me some good scotch! I’m afraid I don’t recognize this form of gratitude. It must be something Vulcan. I just know my arms are starting to get needles in them from falling asleep. What’s the idea, anyway?”

“Just repeating what you did.”

“What the hell did I do to you that made you come up with this?!” McCoy roared.

“You grabbed me and kissed me.”

“We were scared for our friend. I know I was petrified. I needed reassurance. I thought that you needed reassurance, too. Sometimes the best way to do that is through touch. I don’t really know why I grabbed you. I just did. It was a gut instinct. Earthlings do that kind of thing when they get scared. I just needed to touch you, physically. So I hugged you. That‘s why God gave me arms.”

“And the kiss? Because your God gave you lips?”

“I’m not sure, myself. I think I just felt an outpouring of caring for you. You looked so lost, like I felt.”

“So it was nothing sexual?”

“Hell, no!” He frowned. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“When will you know?”

“For heaven’s sake, how should I be able to answer that when I don’t know myself?!”

“Perhaps this will help.”

And before McCoy quite knew what was coming at him, Spock’s mouth fell on his. That was the only way McCoy could describe it. Spock’s mouth fell on his.

McCoy didn’t quite know what to think. For a moment, all he was concerned about was breathing. The damn Vulcan was shutting off some of his oxygen supply with their faces squashed up together the way they were. Not saying, though, that on some level McCoy wasn‘t enjoying what they were presently doing. He still wasn’t absolutely clear on WHY they were presently doing it, though. 

But there comes a time when a guy just has to breathe, no matter what is going on. McCoy turned his head slightly to break the kiss and to gulp air or to protest, he didn’t care which. He managed to get two gulps of air. He found out a moment later that he’d been lucky to get that. The Vulcan took advantage of the opened mouth and plunged his tongue inside McCoy’s mouth.

Well, that put a whole different perspective on the proceedings.

McCoy whimpered in protest, then gradually quieted as he decided he wanted to concentrate on the marvelous sensations that foreign tongue was giving him. Not to mention, the marvelous sensations that the alien body draped so nicely on top of his were giving him. In fact, he found that he quite enjoyed the closeness of the lithe body pressing down on his so completely and so snugly. He’d never imagined that the ice-blooded alien could be so warm and cozy. He just wished he could put his arms around that marvelous body again and maybe do some hand pressing of his own. But the Vulcan’s hand continued to hold his tightly above his head.

McCoy particularly liked it when Spock squirmed around a little. That lit up all sorts of sensory overloads all over McCoy’s body. And thin layers of two Starfleet regulation uniforms did little to disguise the fact that Spock was all guy. McCoy figured that Spock was learning the same thing about him. But why did the damn Vulcan have to check him out so thoroughly? McCoy was regulation himself with standard equipment. Everything was in its right place, and operational. Whoops! Very operational. He was beginning to realize that the Vulcan might learn that obvious fact about McCoy’s body, too, if he didn’t stop that damn squirming around. That damn, DELICIOUS squirming around, that is.

“Is this agreeable, Doctor?” Spock asked, slightly out of breath when he finally broke the kiss.

“Very,” McCoy murmured back, way more out of breath than Spock was. “A unique form of payment, I must say. I thank you. I must recommend it to the medical board, but I doubt if it would ever pass,” he managed to add. He caught his wayward breath. “I thank you again. That was most, ah, instructive. Most impressive. I will certainly remember it, I assure you.”

“I am not finished thanking you. I thought we might need to breathe a little.”

“Oh. Oh, okay,” McCoy agreed and lifted his head to meet Spock’s opened mouth that was headed for his mouth again. Then those wonderful sensations shot through McCoy again. Damned better method of payment than insurance fees, McCoy decided. A doctor could get used to this.

And then he became aware of Spock’s other hand. Spock apparently had discovered that it was free and had nothing to do, so Spock assigned it a job. It traveled across McCoy’s chest, deliberately touching McCoy’s sensitive nipples. What the hell was the damn Vulcan trying to accomplish now?! Prepayment of medical fees?! McCoy was going to need medical attention himself, after this!

Then the hand went away, and McCoy relaxed so he could concentrate on the delicious tongue kissing again.

Wrong! The hand was back! And it was now much lower and at McCoy’s waist!

McCoy grunted.

“Hush, Doctor,” Spock ordered, and the hand drifted downward across McCoy’s stomach. “Hush, now,” Spock ordered again as McCoy whimpered. “Try not to think about it.”

What?! Spock might not realize it, but the travels of that hand were becoming uppermost in McCoy’s mind. That hand was stirring up a whole lot of interest.

The hand lowered.

McCoy tensed and gasped.

“Hush, Doctor,” Spock murmured.

What the hell! Who could hush with a hand drifting downward over the stomach?! Headed south?!

McCoy whimpered. His favorite expletive came to mind, but he decided it was inadequate. Everything was inadequate in the wake of the path of that hand.

“Relax. Just relax,” Spock murmured.

Ditto, for relaxing! Double ditto!

The hand stopped just north of a very alert part of McCoy’s anatomy.

Spock pulled his face up and released McCoy‘s hands. “Payment in full, Doctor?”

McCoy stared up at Spock’s shadowy form in the dim light. He could feel slobbers stringing down his chin. “That’s it?! Now you stop?!”

Spock shrugged as he sat back on his heels. “You saved Jim’s life. You didn’t resurrect him.”

McCoy raised himself up on his elbows. “I beg to differ! He was clinically dead! I brought Kirk back to life!”

“Only your Christian God could do that. Jim‘s bodily processes were dim, but still there. Khan‘s blood really saved Jim. Are you considering Khan as a savior, also?”

“No!”

“But by using your own criteria, that would be the only logical conclusion that one could reach. Khan saved Jim.”

”Forget Jim! He’s safe! He’s not needing resurrecting now! I am!”

“Are you certain?”

“Pretty damned certain! Maybe you can‘t tell because my trousers is holding it in. But I‘M pretty damned sure!”

“Really? I will check.” Spock glanced downward on McCoy, then shrugged in amazement. “You appear to be tumescent, Doctor.”

“What did you expect?! You crawled all over me and got closer to me than a second skin! Your tongue gouged around in my mouth and tried to reach my tonsils! Your hands checked out most of my standard equipment and sandpapered it to vibrate! You were quite thorough, Commander! All of my systems are on high alert!”

“Fascinating.“

“There’s a reason! And it’s sitting there looking pretty mystified at the moment!“ 

“I seem to have stirred you, then.”

“Well, yeah!”

“It must be some time since you have had coitus, otherwise you would not have responded so easily.”

“I am a man! I can go into hyper drive in nothing flat! You should know that much from Anatomy 101! Or at least from experiences behind the dugout after the baseball game!“

“We did not have baseball on Vulcan.“

“Figures.“ Then remembering, “And it’s none of your damned business when I last had sexual intercourse! For your information, though, I could’ve been in a screwing session an hour ago and still gotten steamed up with you pawing me the way you just did!”

“You appear to be correct, Doctor. Fascinating.” He studied McCoy’s situation. “You have no problem achieving and maintaining an erection then?”

“No! Only in getting rid of it!”

“Then I will have to determine how best to alleviate your present dire circumstances.” And without further discussion, Spock reached down and stripped McCoy of his binding trousers and briefs in one fluid movement.

McCoy never was certain exactly how Spock had managed that movement. He just knew that one moment he was clothed, and the next he wasn’t. He gasped as McCoy, Jr. leaped out with eagerness and waved at Spock.

Damned that Spock! The little bastard could sure act fast when he finally decided, McCoy thought as cool air struck his fevered extremities. McCoy sucked in his breath from the coolness. Man, that felt good! But it didn’t solve his current problem.

“You are correct again, Doctor,” Spock remarked with clinical appreciation. “This condition needs to be addressed.”

McCoy just knew that he couldn’t live like this with an overwhelming need gripping his body and McCoy, Jr. waving like a damned flag at the head of a Fourth of July parade. As the old song says, something’s gotta give.

“Interesting specimen, indeed.”

“Well, something needs to be done!“ McCoy pulled himself up on his elbows and reached downward. The next moment he found himself flat on his back with his hands pinned to his chest.

“Let me…loose!” he ordered as he tried to twist away, all the while knowing that he was in the Vulcan’s iron grip.

“I cannot allow you to perform that act of abuse upon yourself.”

“Why the hell not?!”

“That would be damaging to your psyche.”

“Right now, I’m not interested in my damned psyche!”

“I know you are not. That is why I must protect you.”

“You little bastard! There’s another part of me that’s in worse need right now than my damned psyche!”

“I realize that, Doctor.”

“Spock, you damned idiot! Do something! Don’t just sit there like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a display like that! It isn’t an exhibit at a science fair for Junior High kids! This isn’t exactly comfortable, you know. Something has to be done, and fast! So, if you aren’t going to do something about it, at least let go of my hands so I can!” 

His head flew backward and slammed hard against the bed. 

“A-g-g-h-h-h!” 

Spock had lowered his head and was doing something about it.

A few minutes later, Spock raised his head, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and asked, “Better?”

McCoy stared at him with dazed eyes. “Oh. Yeah.” He finally caught his breath and decided that his body hadn’t come unglued and wasn’t going to seep through the mattress, after all. McCoy had had doubts. “Must you do everything you’re asked so literally?”

“It did solve the problem, did it not?”

McCoy wiped a shaky hand across his sweating forehead. “Oh. Yeah.” Finally he frowned and looked at Spock. “How about you? Needing relief?”

“I used my other hand.”

McCoy closed his eyes and wished for death. “Clever bastard,” he murmured. “Good control. Three motions at once.”

“Lots of practice.”

McCoy opened his eyes and frowned at him. “Eh?”

Spock gave him a wicked look. “Doctor, must you know everything?”

“Well, yeah, you’re right,” McCoy said as he lay back and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

Spock pulled a sheet over McCoy. “You can rest now.”

“Spock. Thanks. For all of what did. It was unnecessary, but thanks. I saved Jim because I like him, too. Not just because of you.”

“I know.” Spock stood.

“Where did you, ah, learn all that about, well, you know? Surely, not in books or off the computer.”

“Some. Some I learned from Nyota.” He smiled wickedly. “And some, I figured out on my own.”

“Well, good job.” McCoy yawned hugely. “Good powers of observation and deduction.”

“Thank you. I tried to be logical.“

“It was a great solution. Maybe not one I would’ve come up with, but great, nonetheless.“

“I’ll let you sleep some more. I think you can now.”

“Why?”

“You were whimpering in your sleep. Crying. I tried hugging you to quiet you. It wasn’t enough to reassure you. I decided to calm you.”

“You did. Damned good job.” He reached out and patted Spock’s shoulder. “I thank you.”

“I didn’t do it all because of you, Doctor.”

“Oh? Then, who?”

“Me.”

“What?!”

“I wanted to see if I could. And, I wanted to see if I liked it.”

“And?”

“I finished, didn’t I?”

“What do you mean?”

Spock headed for the door. “Have a good rest, Doctor.”

“You damned Vulcan! Get back in here and explain yourself! Would anyone had been alright for your experiment, or was it because I was the one you did it to?! Am I that special to you?! Spock! Answer me!”

But Spock had kept on walking.

Had he asked Spock just one question too many? Was that the one thing that Spock couldn’t, or wouldn’t, admit? Too bad, because that was the one thing that McCoy was dying to know. 

Was he that special to Spock?

Even now, as McCoy thought that experience over, he still didn’t know if Spock had wanted only him. How could he have explained all of that to Kirk? How could he have related that very intimate encounter to anyone, even Kirk? Some memories were just too precious to be shared.

And now, damn it, he wished he could share them with Spock.


	7. Chapter 7

Kirk came across Khan brooding in the small flower garden which the visitors had christened Laura‘s Jewel. It was the tiny nook filled with rose arbors and stone benches that Laura had pointed out to Khan and Spock that first afternoon. Laura had been thrilled by the name of the garden, and it quickly became a favorite with the visitors.

Khan looked rather large and hulking in all of that frilly, daintiness, though. Melancholy was practically rolling off of him.

Great, Kirk thought. I have to cheer this up. He took a deep breath, forced a smile on his face, and stepped forward with an enthusiasm he really wasn‘t feeling. “Khan! How are you on this beautiful afternoon.”

Khan looked up and scowled. “Go away, Kirk.“ 

“Why so gloom?” Kirk looked around himself in appreciation. “It’s a beautiful day! Flowers are blooming! Birds are singing! It’s a great time for making plans and carrying them out!”

Khan gave him a tolerant look. “Plans indicate a belief in a future occurring.”

“So? Plan a future,“ Kirk said as he sat on the other end of Khan’s bench.

Khan smirked. 

“What’s your problem, Khan? You seemed distracted last night, too.”

“Why did you bring me here, Kirk?”

Kirk shot Khan a look. “To heal.”

“I heal myself, given time.”

“I don’t mean physically. You need to heal mentally.”

“That will never happen. I will not allow it.”

“And I will not allow you to kill yourself.”

“What difference does it make to you?”

“I owe you!”

“Then I excuse the debt.”

“It doesn’t work that way with me, Khan. I’m going to save you, in spite of yourself. You see, I made a vow to protect you and your people. I take my vows and oaths seriously. I will save you.”

“And if I choose to die?”

Kirk turned to stare, unseeing, across the vast lawns. “Then it will be a tragic waste.”

“Why do you say that? Admiral Marcus presented me as a devil. Maybe I am.”

Kirk turned back to face Khan. “That was for his agenda. We’ll just have to have a different one.”

“We?”

“That’s right. We. You and me. You’re not having to do this on your own.”

“And what is it that you’re going to help me do?”

“Live!”

“And do what with this tremendous gift of life that you have given me?”

“Listen. You weren’t all bad always. You had ideals. You had purpose. You wanted to change things for the better.”

“Yes. I was young and idealistic once. That’s what the young have: idealism. Then they discover that, despite their best efforts, they can’t change anything. Not really.”

Kirk held out his hand, pleading. “But they can chip away at it! They can leave the world a little bit better place than what they found it.”

Khan studied Kirk a moment with a smirk on his face. “You would’ve made a great Hippie.”

“I know I sound like a pie-in-the-sky optimist. But you’ve got to do something! You have to make it worth your while to get up in the mornings.”

“I used to sound like that. Perhaps you do because we share blood now.”

“We do not share blood! You got none of mine!“

“That is true. But someday, I may. Do you believe that will make me a better person?”

“Maybe a more grateful one, one who appreciates getting a second chance.”

 

“And do you have a master plan for me?”

“No. But we’re here on a planet where people live in peace and beauty and think in philosophical terms. Surely you can find a spot for yourself.”

Khan smirked. “Maybe this place is where all the Hippies went.”

Kirk grinned back. “Who knows? They lived on philosophical ideals, too.”

“Kirk, you’re forgetting one thing,” Khan said, suddenly intense again.

“And what is that?”

“I just don’t want a life for myself anymore. It’s like my people are gone.”

“No, they aren‘t.”

“I just FEEL that they are gone. I just can’t go out and make a new life for myself with new acquaintances. I don’t want new people, Kirk. I want MY people. Could you go on if suddenly all of your people from the Enterprise were gone? Forever? No more Spock. No more McCoy. No more Scotty, or the others?”

It hit Kirk with a powerful jolt. The devastation. The hopelessness. The people on the Enterprise were his family, his life. Suddenly, he understood the way that Spock had felt when Vulcan was destroyed. Kirk could empathize, but only one person could probably relate to Khan’s feelings. 

“Spock. You need to talk with Spock.”

“What?”

“He’s lost his home. His heritage. His people.”

“He already had new people in his life when Vulcan died,” Khan said as he turned away in disgust. “He had you and McCoy and the others. How could he help?”

“I don’t know. Just give him a try, okay?”

“I might, if you answer a question for me.”

“What‘s that?”

“Are you afraid that you will become more like me since you have my blood in your body?”

“I hadn’t thought about it,” Kirk muttered.

“Yes, you have! You’ve been around Spock too long! You’ve gone Vulcan! You can’t lie! At least, not about what I just asked you. Besides my blood, we are alike in another way. There’s something probably more important than my blood, really.”

“Alright, I’ll ask. You’re determined to tell me, anyway. How are we alike?”

“You’re an Augment, the same as I am. You’ve died and have been resurrected from the dead, also.”

“Now, why did you have to go and tell me something like that?” Kirk muttered, but he knew Khan was right. Jim was now, officially, an Augment. Maybe not the same kind of Augment as Khan, but an Augment all the same.

 

The next day, Khan walked up to Spock who was gazing out over the small lake created by the thundering waterfall a distance away. Spock was seated in one of several white Adirondack chairs.

“Do you mind if I sit here with you for a little while, Mr. Spock?“

Spock shrugged. “It is neither my garden nor my chair.“

“That’s not the idea, Spock. I’d be interrupting your solitude. I wouldn’t want to piss you off, either. The last time I did, it went pretty badly for me.“

Spock almost allowed himself a smile. Now that he and Khan weren’t in a pitched battle to the death, Spock had to admit that he was a little intrigued by the exotic humanoid prototype. What a unique experience Khan had endured. Not that Spock would want to duplicate it, but Khan’s history was indeed fascinating. Perhaps some social interrelationship with the Augment might be instructive. It might even be amusing. It certainly would be different. 

And it would fall into the lines of what Jim had been proposing about socializing Khan. A win/win situation all the way around, Spock decided.

“I would like your company, if that is alright with you,“ Khan continued.

“It is not logical for us suddenly to be companions, but you may be seated and enjoy the scenery, if you so wish.“

“Thank you.“ Khan sighed as he relaxed and looked out over the eddying pool. “Such a peaceful setting. Not exactly what we are accustomed to, is it, Mr. Spock?“

“So, it is small talk that you wish to engage in. Chitchat, I believe it is also termed.“

Khan started to rise. “I can see that this isn’t going to work.“

But some sense of humanity suddenly resonated in Spock. Khan was trying to make an effort. Spock should at least recognize the effort and maybe even help it along. “I just needed to understand the boundaries of a discussion between us, that it all.”

Khan figured that was as close as Spock had ever come to saying he was sorry to anybody about anything and meaning it. Khan settled back into the chair. “I can just sit quietly, if you would rather.”

“That is your decision.”

“I’ve known a lot of people who never got the chance to enjoy a peaceful setting like this,“ Khan began. “So much beauty to be seen, and so many with eyes already sealed in death.”

Apparently, it was Khan’s decision not to sit quietly, Spock decided. And his words were a little self-serving, but that was Khan for you. He did kind of dwell on doom and gloom, Spock noticed. But Khan probably had his reasons. Well, it was Khan’s topic, one he had picked himself. Apparently, it was pressing on his mind, as that topic generally did. It was a little morbid, but then Khan was more than a little morbid himself hulking around in that great coat of his that seemed to sweep the ground, but didn’t. 

Spock decided to let Khan develop his thesis since it so obviously looked like Khan was not only going to do that very thing, but he would also be sharing it with Spock. Apparently Spock was merely a sounding board. Alright, he could do that. If that was what Khan was needing at the moment, Spock could accommodate. He just hoped his eyes didn’t glaze over in boredom, though. He had, on more than one occasion, already heard Khan’s bleats about concerns for his people. Apparently, Spock would be hearing it once more. Spock tried to be as discreet as possible with his sigh to himself.

The damned Vulcan could help! Khan thought. He was having difficulty getting started with what he wanted to talk about, and it certainly looked like Spock wasn’t going to help. Spock just sat there as if he and the wooden chair had become one. Now, that Laura Kessler would have latched onto Khan and would have had him drawn out by now. But Spock was no Laura Kessler. And that fact was being more and more apparent as Khan struggled to express himself. He didn’t know where to start.

Khan decided just to take the plunge. Subtlety was apparently lost on the Vulcan; perhaps he could understand directness better.

“So, you‘ve had the heart taken out of you, too, the same as I have.” He nodded his head sagely. “No wonder Kirk wanted me to talk with you.”

“About what?” Spock wondered if he’d missed something. Was he having a relapse of the mysterious mind drifting problem that occasionally came over him? He'd never noticed that he’d suffered from this malady until Kirk had pointed out Spock’s symptoms. The problem must be escalating now since other people besides Kirk were noticing. 

“Losing all of your people. It must have been devastating to you, when Vulcan was destroyed.”

Oh, okay. Spock didn‘t remember how they had gotten to this part of a serious discussion, but here they apparently were. “It was my home,” he said carefully. He was determined not to miss anymore of what Khan was saying. A lot of ground had somehow been covered that Spock didn’t remember covering.

“So you understand how important the concept of ‘home’ is. You can understand why I want to establish one for my people.”

Okay, okay, Spock could agree with that statement. “Yes, I can.”

“Kirk said you would.”

Spock frowned. Kirk had reveled Spock’s deepest feelings to an enemy? That was so unlike Kirk to divulge a trust. On the other hand, the proposition could be such a generally accepted one that no confidentiality had been betrayed. But, still--

“Don’t look at me that way, Spock, like your lunch is disagreeing with you. Your captain was only trying to help me. People do that occasionally, you know. Kirk was only doing what he thought was right.”

That ruffled Spock. “Captain Kirk does not need defending by the likes of you.”

“Oh, yes, he does, my erstwhile friend. All of us need all the defending we can get.”

Now Spock understood the rules, but he decided to play it safe by saying something unctuous, but nonetheless true. “I cannot disparage that viewpoint.”

“That’s one thing I like about you, Spock. If you’re out-thought, you concede.”

What? “I did not realize that we were debating.”

“People like us are always debating, Spock. It is better than using our fists, don’t you agree?”

“I do not appreciate the idea of agreeing with you about anything, but in this case, you are correct.”

Khan arose and even smiled at Spock. “Thank you. I appreciate having had our little chat. It has helped me immensely. I’ll see you at dinner.” There was even a twinkle in his eyes. “I hope your dyspepsia has cleared up by then.”

What dyspepsia, Spock wondered. Puzzled, Spock watched Khan walk away.

Just how much of what Khan had said had Spock missed? 

 

“You wanted to see me, Spock?” McCoy asked as they seated themselves in McCoy’s office. “Did you want to talk? I know we haven’t had the chance since you got here. Jim was worried that there was trouble between us, and I said that there just simply hadn’t been a chance for you and me to get together. Everyone has been so busy.” McCoy knew that he was babbling, but how else could he be with Spock simply staring at him? 

“I wanted to see you professionally,” Spock finally answered.

“Oh?” Then McCoy’s disappointment was replaced with concern. “Are you having some trouble?” McCoy frowned. “Spock? Did you hear me? Is something wrong with you?”

“It seems to have happened again.”

McCoy was almost afraid to ask. “What?”

“It is the mind drifting problem which I once experienced. I fear that I may be having recurrences or flashbacks of it again.”

Weak with relief, McCoy leaned forward. “Spock, you’ve got to realize that there was never anything wrong with your concentration. Jim was just having some fun with you. He made that condition up on the spur of the moment to make a project of his seem legitimate.”

“I have no problem, then?”

McCoy leaned back. “None. What made you worry, anyway?”

“I was talking with Khan and seemed to have missed part of what he was saying.”

McCoy made an assumption. “Maybe that’s because Khan never said it.”

“What?”

“You can’t hear what was never spoken to you, can you?”

“Well, no.”

“There! You see?”

Spock looked around. “Where?”

“Never mind. Look.” He saw Spock look around again, but decided to ignore it. “You’re okay. Leave it at that. Okay?”

Spock was skeptical. “Okay,” he said slowly.

McCoy looked on this as an opportunity to speak with Spock. As with Khan, McCoy didn’t know how to broach what was on his mind, though, so he just started talking. And unknowingly did the same thing to Spock that Khan had done.

“So, have you come up with an answer yet?”

Oh, no, it has happened again! “About what?” Spock asked, puzzled. 

“If I’m important to you.”

“Of course, you are important to me.”

McCoy breathed deeply in satisfaction.

“You are my primary care physician.”

McCoy flinched a little. “I mean, as a friend.”

“I believe that we have an acquaintanceship.”

McCoy jumped to his feet and held out his hand to Spock. “Acquaint-- Spock! We’ve served together for years on the Enterprise! We’ve saved each others' lives countless times! We’ve seen each other naked! That makes us a little more than acquaintances!”

“Please, Doctor, your blood pressure.”

“My blood pressure is perfectly fine! That’s because I vent often, like an over-heated volcano! Maybe it has an aggravating Vulcan around it, too, who can’t seem to understand idioms!”

Spock was clearly worried about McCoy‘s harangue. “Doctor, please.”

“A Vulcan who can’t understand that it’s important to the other guy to know just what their relationship is!” McCoy suddenly ran out of steam. “The other guy would just like to know if he’s important to the Vulcan, that‘s all.” McCoy stopped. He’d practiced this speech so the alien could understand him. But now, McCoy realized that he hadn’t been direct, at all, or diplomatic, and the alien just looked confused.

“Doctor?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to say all that so rudely, but subtlety didn’t seem to be working with you. If I hadn’t spoken up, you would’ve never said anything. You know, sometimes it’s difficult being close to you.”

“We are close?”

“Yes, Spock,” McCoy answered with a sigh. “We are close. At least, I feel close to you. I don’t know what in the hell you are feeling about me. That’s the problem.”

Spock sat quietly. “I realize that this is important to you, Doctor.”

“Thank you. And I know that you don’t want to recognize feelings.”

“It is not that I do not want to recognize them. I just try not to have feelings.”

“Oh,” McCoy said softly as he folded into his chair. He’d heard what Spock had probably intended and had most certainly implied. 

I try not to have feelings ‘for you.’

Spock could tell that he’d hurt McCoy. “I am sorry.”

McCoy looked up, uncomprehending. “How?”

“Pardon?”

“How can you be sorry? In order to be sorry, you’d have to be able to feel sorrow. And you say you can’t do that.”

“I just do not want to feel sorrow.”

“Who does?! Look, you’re noncommittal about me, but you seem to have no problems about Jim. So, now I’m understanding it. It's me, isn't it? You can’t, or won’t, like me?" He frowned. "No. Let's make that what it really is. A statement," he said softly as his own words sank in. "You can't, or won't, like me.” 

“Doctor--”

“I don’t like it, but I can live with it. But I’m puzzled. Explain to me then what happened to us after Jim’s surgery.”

“I cannot.”

“You have to realize something. What happened was very important to me.”

“It was to me, too.”

“Really?” McCoy felt hopeful.

“I let emotion guide my actions, though.”

McCoy‘s hopes were dashed, again. “That isn’t a problem!”

“Maybe not to you.”

“So, that’s in a nutshell, huh?"

“What type of nut?”

“No nut! Precisely! That’s the problem, precisely! Understand?! No nuts involved! Get it?!”

“Then why didn’t you just say--”

“Look. This isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“We are going somewhere now?”

“Spock! Stop it! Are you really that stupid?!”

Stupid, Spock understood. He looked hurt.

McCoy felt contrite. “I’m sorry, Spock. It seems that I can never say the right thing to you. Maybe you are right. We just don‘t know each other.”

Spock started to object.

“Okay,” McCoy conceded. “We’re acquaintances, but that doesn‘t mean we know each other. And probably never will,” he mumbled to himself. He pulled himself together and accepted it. “I guess I’m just not that important to you.”

Spock started to object again.

“I’ll always be your doctor. Don’t worry about that.”

Spock was satisfied with that.

That made one of them. McCoy was far from satisfied.

“Well, if you have no further medical problems, Mr. Spock,” McCoy said as if reading from a script, “I will consider this conversation to be at a close.”

“Thank you for seeing me, Doctor,” Spock said and left.

 

Jim was right, McCoy decided. He and Spock were having problems. Spock just couldn’t see it. Or wouldn’t see it.

But McCoy would’ve been surprised to learn that, although Spock had left feeling complacent, he soon became uneasy. Maybe it was because McCoy had been upset. But Spock instinctively knew it went deeper than that. His human side told him that he had been callous. He should have treated McCoy better.

McCoy wasn’t the only one who’d felt inadequate with his explanations. Spock felt that he had somehow left the doctor with wrong impressions.

As for the other, what happened between them after Jim’s surgery, Spock couldn’t explain it, either. It had just felt right at the time.


	8. Chapter 8

Once again, Kirk was trying to find a common ground with Khan. It had now become a custom for them to devote a small part of their afternoons together somewhere on the vast lawns of McCoy’s estate. A favorite spot, as always, was Laura‘s Jewel, the tiny nook filled with rose arbors and stone benches surrounded by the encroaching live oak trees. 

That was where they were seated on this particular afternoon.

Today’s discussion had been a continuation from the evening’s before, or rather a recap. It wasn’t that anybody disagreed last night; everyone just luxuriated in the beauty of coincidence. They still did.

“Just think, Kirk,” Khan said as he went over very familiar ground. “Alexander the Great was taught by Aristotle who was taught by Plato who was taught by Socrates. There is something beautiful in that succession, isn‘t there? All of those great minds influencing each other.”

“Yes. The Athenian Philosophers had made great strides in philosophy, but if it hadn’t been for Alexander much of that knowledge wouldn’t have advanced as quickly as it did. For all of the bloodshed and suffering that Alexander caused, he did much to spread Greek culture. Who knows? The words of the Athenian Philosophers might have been lost to history if it had not been for Alexander the Great and his zeal to spread his empire.”

“It is similar somewhat to what the Apostles Peter and Paul did for the Christian Messiah Jesus the Christ, wouldn’t you say?” Khan interjected.

“Very similar. It’s interesting, isn’t it, the way much of history, and the spread of culture, has been by accident? As a side benefit to military expansion?”

“Also interesting is what has been lost to history.” Khan sighed. So many of the writings of the ancients weren‘t salvaged, much to the loss of future generations.”

“And in some cases, it might have taken so little.”

“Ah, if I could have a choice of the places I could go to in history to rectify an injustice, I believe it would be to Alexandria, Egypt. I would try to prevent the burning of its library there. Its collection must have been one of the greatest the world has ever known.”

Kirk smiled. “Maybe you could have organized a more efficient fire department for the city. I understand that there were probably a series of fires, not just the one.”

“The library was created by Ptolemy I, Soter, successor of Alexander the Great. And there we are back to that line of succession that started with Socrates.“ 

Kirk nodded in agreement.

“It is said that part of the collection of scrolls at Alexandria had been given to Cleopatra by Mark Antony. Just think of the famous hands that formed that library.”

“I believe that this topic will get further discussion tonight, don’t you?” Kirk asked with a tight smile.

Khan stirred himself. “Most definitely. You know, Kirk, the sojourn to this planet has proven to be quite interesting, after all. It is enlightening to discover that one’s former enemies have an enlightened and cultured side to themselves.”

Kirk nodded benignly.

“Especially Spock,” Khan continued grimly. “It is difficult to imagine that killing machine speaking fluent French while commenting on an excellent vichyssoise.”

Kirk’s eyes twinkled. “He would probably say the same thing about you.”

Khan smiled in contentment. “Ah, Kirk, you are most refreshing and diverting. We’re more alike, I imagine, than either you or I would like to accept. Your civilized behavior is barely contained, as mine is. We want more. We’re not satisfied the way others are. We grab and grasp and conquer.”

“But we are also compassionate!” Kirk declared, turning.

“Yes, we like to think we are.”

“We are! I saw you be compassionate. You killed in San Francisco, yes. But it wasn’t a total annihilation there. It wasn’t a bloodbath. You saved the innocent where you could. Hell, I’ve been more ruthless than you’ve been.”

“You can see that in yourself?”

“I know that sometimes I can get tunnel vision. I know I plow ahead until I reach my goal. I know I can sacrifice people before honor. There’s times that I think the only reason I’ve kept people near me is their loyalty to me, not mine to them.”

“You’re generally after a goal.”

“Yes.”

“And you won’t be sidetracked.”

“No.”

“And what is your goal for me?”

“To rehabilitate you.”

“Now you sound like that Laura Kessler.”

“Perhaps. Look, this place could be a new home for you. This is a magic planet with magic flowers. Think what it would be like to be at peace with yourself and the rest of society. To have a family. To have a FUTURE.”

Khan was starting to tire of Kirk‘s favorite topic, and suddenly Khan didn‘t want to play anymore. But, nevertheless, here was Kirk in his best crusading mood. “My, you are a romanticist, Kirk. Or is the planet simply affecting you again?”

Kirk returned the fake smile. So, Kirk had caught that one, eh, Khan thought. Kirk was quick. 

“We’ll never know,” Kirk answered. “Will we? I‘m not part of what you agreed to do. I‘m merely your babysitter.” 

Maybe it was time that Kirk learned a few things. “I didn’t ‘agree’ to do anything, Kirk.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your illustrious Section 31 has got me by the balls.”

“Did you put that in the vernacular for my benefit, or for yours?”

“Because I’m pissed off, and I’m tired of hiding that fact.”

“Maybe you’ve been around Scotty too long, or some of the other guys on the Enterprise crew. Your language is a little salty.”

“No, it’s because I’m tired, Kirk. Sometimes I think I’d rather just be with my people again. And rest. Can’t you understand that? Don’t you ever just get tired?”

“Hell, yes! I’m tired of what you’re trying to tell me, and then aren’t! Just come out and tell my what you‘re trying to say!”

“Okay, here it is, friend. You think I came here willingly? Well, I was blackmailed.”

“How? What’s being held against you?”

“Come on, Kirk. You should be able to figure that one out. After all, you’re a smart guy. What could Section 31 possibly hold over my head? What do I consider above anything else? Even above myself?”

Kirk frowned. “Your crew.” He shot a look at Khan. “The safety of your crew.”

“That’s right.”

“Section 31 knows you don’t care about your own welfare that much. But you’d do anything for your crew.”

“Even to going along with wherever you take me.” He glanced at Kirk. “I asked you why you brought me here. You said it was a logical choice. Did you not realize that your commander figured you would come up with the same destination?”

“What are you saying? That he knew I’d bring you to Narsarya B?” Kirk turned away. “Son of a bitch! That bastard was smarter than he looked.”

“He played you, Kirk. He’s still playing you.”

“It’s kind of like the other plan we were just talking about, the plan about you rejoining your people in slumber.”

“I couldn‘t. Section 31 wouldn‘t let me.“

“But why go along with their plan? Why didn’t you just get refrozen?”

Khan looked exasperated. “Come on, Kirk! Think like Section 31 does!”

Kirk began thinking out loud. “Because who knows at what time in the future an ‘accident’ might happen. And it could be anything. A power failure and the generators might fail to kick in. A contaminant might get in the life support feed. Some minor employee might go crazy and decide to get back at his bosses by destroying some ancient pods containing some creepy creatures he secretly hates.” Kirk’s frown deepened, and he looked at Khan. “Administrations change. People leave service who know what the pods contain, and that there are living creatures inside them. New people come to work at Section 31 who decide to do some housecleaning by getting rid of those creepy pods cluttering up the place. They‘re nothing anyway.”

“See? The scenario is endless. I can’t just rest. I have to protect my people.”

“You poor devil,” Kirk sympathized. “You remind me of Marley’s ghost in ’A Christmas Carol’ with the chains around his neck weighing him down.”

“Except my chains are my people. And I wear them gladly. Proudly. That’s the other difference between Marley and me. I don’t want to get rid of my chains. I want to wear them so that I can protect them.”

“Can we have them brought here to Narsarya B?”

“And what would Dr. McCoy say about that?” Khan asked with a smirk. “Why would he endanger his new home planet for seventy-two orphan pods?”

“Because they contain seventy-two living creatures, for one thing. And because he’s already endangering Narsarya B for one very high risk refugee. He might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.”

“Precisely.”

“That’s one thing that’s refreshing about you, Khan,” Kirk said with a tight smile. “You understand idioms.”

“So?”

“Spock doesn’t have a clue.”

“Really? I’ll have to remember that one.”

Kirk frowned in exasperation. “Now, don’t go trying to tease Spock about that. It’ll just piss him off. And he’ll realize who told you, and that’ll make my life a whole lot more complicated.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed that about him.”

“What do you mean?”

“It concerns me more than your relationship with him.”

Kirk grinned. “That’s right. You don’t want him to start beating on you again, do you? I don’t blame you. He does have a short fuse, despite all his talk about controlling his emotions. And you’ve got one strike against you with him. You’ve already come across his radar once. He’ll be leery of you.”

Khan gave him a mocking look. “Oh, I don’t know. Spock has his moments.”

“What do you mean?” Kirk started to act excited. “Did you talk to him like I suggested?”

“Well, I don’t know if it was exactly like you suggested. And I don’t know if it was a proper discussion the way you and I are conversing now, but, yes, I did broach some topics with him. He was somewhat helpful, but not verbose. At least he could relate to what I was saying. I think.” Khan looked thoughtful. “Spock has trouble following a conversation, doesn’t he?”

“Not that I’ve ever noticed. Wait! There was that time he had a problem with mind drifting, but that was more in the lines of a supposition that got out of control rather than any real medical condition.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but he had some difficulty following what I was saying to him the other day.”

Kirk looked thoughtful. “I wonder if he’s taking his medication the way he’s supposed to be?” 

“I don’t know, Kirk, but if he was my friend, I’d be a little worried.” 

Kirk looked at Khan. “Really?” 

“This planet is probably having an effect on him, in spite of the medication. He seems nicer.”

“There could be another reason, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Maybe it’s the people he’s around. Just like in your case.” Kirk grinned. “Face it. We’re having a good influence on you.”

“I suppose. There could be another reason, you know.”

“Another? What does that make now? Three? Medication? Planet? People?”

“Four. Spock is jealous of me.”

“Spock? Jealous?” Kirk mocked, but didn’t quite meet Khan’s eyes. “Why would he be jealous?”

“He’s jealous of the time we spend together.”

“That wouldn’t make any difference to him unless he thought you were winning me over.”

“Precisely.”

Kirk frowned. “To the dark side. That’s all. Nothing beyond that.“

“Nothing personal?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Come on, Kirk. You and Spock have been an item. He could be green for more than one reason. One. Heritage. Two. Jealousy.”

Kirk hooted. “We’re buddies!”

“There’s at least four reasons why I say that you’re more than buddies.”

Kirk crossed his arms over his chest. “Four, eh?”

Khan’s eyes danced with amusement. “At least.”

“Amuse me!”

“One. You’re always together.”

“He’s my First Officer. We tend to show up on the bridge of the Enterprise a lot.”

“Two. You share a bathroom here.”

Kirk uncrossed his arms. “That’s because we’re used to doing that! We share a bathroom on the Enterprise! As for here, Laura just thought it would make us more comfortable with familiar accommodations. She and Bones had those two rooms fixed up with an adjoining bath so that visiting parents could be closer to their children.”

Khan even managed a smile. “And which one of you is the parent and which one is the child? Or do you take turns being the daddy?”

“It’s nothing like that! Spock is my T’hy’la! My best friend!”

“Your lover?”

“No!”

“Pity.”

“Why do you say that?! And you’ve only given me two reasons, by the way!”

“Gentlemen! Why so serious? I heard your voices almost up to the house.”

Khan and Kirk jumped to their feet.

“Laura!” Kirk greeted, and Khan chimed in.

Laura peeked up at them from under the brim of her straw gardening hat. “You’ll be upsetting the honey bees!” she reprimanded. “And that will quite affect the flavor and quantity of the honey they produce.”

“Sorry, Laura. Won’t you be seated?” Khan offered gallantly as he swept his hand toward one of the stone benches.

“Thank you. I quite prefer this one out in the sunshine, if you don‘t mind,” Laura said as she settled. “I declare, you gentlemen were huddled on that bench under my prize rambler rose and quite removed to the rest of the world. You will stunt growth of my roses with your arguing! Why were you hiding away behind the roses, anyway? “

Kirk tried not to look at Khan as he sat down beside Laura and answered her. “We weren’t hiding, Laura. Merely shielding ourselves from the sunshine. We’ve been in it far longer than you have.”

“I know. I saw you from my upstairs window and decided to join you. You gentlemen quite like my little garden, don’t you?”

“Well, of course,” Kirk answered smoothly. How come he felt as if he had to cover up his actions to her? Then, to his own horror, he kept it up. “We were merely discussing last night’s dinner topic.”

Laura smiled. “The great philosophers of Athens? How could that subject have caused the heated words I just heard? There really isn’t too much controversy about their contribution to mankind’s knowledge and method of reasoning anymore.”

Kirk glimpsed at Khan, then back at Laura. “We got a little, ah, sidetracked.”

Khan shifted uneasily from where he was seated on the nearby stone bench.

Laura looked from one to the other. “I see.” She stirred herself and stood. The two men jumped to their feet. “I would like to go inside now. Mr. Khan, you have been quiet. Perhaps you would be gracious enough to escort me inside? I want to get your side to this ‘discussion‘ of Greek philosophers that brought out the ire in you two gentlemen.”

Who could say no to a lady? Without looking at Kirk, Khan offered Laura his arm with a smile, and she took it. Then they set off toward the house with Laura chatting brightly and Khan answering her, being very solicitous and gentlemanly all the way.

Kirk sat and watched them disappear. Why had that conversation with Khan seemed so personal? What was he seeing in Khan’s eyes that he didn’t want to see, but intrigued him all the same?

And what were Khan’s other two reasons to think that Spock and Kirk were more than buddies? And why wasn’t Kirk more aware of them himself?

 

“You hurt me, Spock. Not too many people can get that done,” Khan said suddenly one day as they sat in their wooden chairs near the pool at the base of the waterfalls.

The day had been warm and languid, a perfect time for catnapping. And Khan and Spock had been doing just that, although they would not have admitted doing so. Anyone knowing of their previous history would have been amazed to have seen the two being so relaxed and not on guard around each other. The two former opponents somehow knew that if they started a fight comparable to their first encounter that Laura wouldn’t like it. She would probably reprimand them both for disturbing her honeybees in particular and her gardens in general. Khan knew she could do it, and Spock had heard through Kirk about it. Nobody wanted to get that little lady riled up again. 

“Wouldn’t you agree?”

Oh, no, Spock thought. My mind must have drifted again, and I missed what Khan has been talking about. Spock could at least comment on what he had heard. “You heal yourself,” he said, thinking that statement could fit into the silence. Khan apparently was expecting some sort of answer. “Not too many people can get that done, either.”

Khan’s smile was slow, but appreciative. “Yes. And you try not to lose control of your emotion. Otherwise, you would be admitting to yourself a lack of control in your life. Right?”

“Of course.”

“And it doesn’t matter if anyone else realizes that struggle you have. It is important to you.”

“Yes.”

“I believe we understand each other, Mr. Spock. I believe that we even respect each other.”

“If that is what you wish to call it.”

“I do. We realize that we have superhuman powers. We’re stronger than the others around us.”

“In some respects, yes.”

“I respect that you hurt me.” Maybe it was wrong to bait Spock now, but Khan smelled an opportunity, a chance to make a point. “Do you believe that I can hurt you back?”

“I was never concerned about that proposition. There is no reason at the moment for a physical encounter. Our circumstances have changed.”

“Yes, they have, haven’t they?”

“How would you propose to harm me?”

“Aha! I have your interest then!”

“I could be speaking with a madman. But, yes, you have my attention.”

“There are so many ways, Mr. Spock.”

“I am weaker physically than you are.”

“Yes. You got lucky on that garbage scow. Uhura came and helped you.” He studied Spock. “But there are other ways.”

“What do you mean?”

“Through the people you love.”

Spock frowned.

“Oh, yes! You do love them! I know that you do!”

“I do not understand.”

“You know perfectly well what I mean. I’m here among the people you love. The only one missing is your father. But there’s enough of the others close by. And you would never know when, or how. You would just know it was your fault if something happened to them.”

Spock looked at him as if he were, indeed, a madman. “And why would you want to harm innocent people just because of me?”

“Just because I could!”

Great pain crossed Spock’s face.

“Now you understand about my people,” Khan said softly. “And what I feel for them.”

Relief flooded Spock’s face. “Then you were proposing merely a supposition. You wouldn’t actually harm the others here?”

Khan shrugged. “Not anymore than we harm each other through interrelating to each other on a daily basis. Sometimes that causes greater wounds than weapons ever could. Weapons merely kill the body. Betrayal can kill the soul. And it’s a festering wound that only death can heal.”

“Sometimes a cure can be found. Negotiation. Mutual understanding.”

“You never struck me as an optimist, Mr. Spock.”

“Nor you as a pessimist.”

“Touche.”

“Maybe a fatalist.”

Khan cocked his head at Spock. “Why do you say that?”

“You maintain that there is nothing that you can really do for your people.”

Khan grinned ironically. “But yet I keep whining about it, right?”

“You are not exactly cheerful.”

“Neither are you, Spock. I‘ve never heard you do a belly laugh or seen you pull a prank on someone just to amuse the people around you.”

Spock looked at him, puzzled. “Why would I want to do either of those things?”

“Spock, trust me,” Khan said, touching Spock‘s shoulder. “If I have to explain it, it wouldn‘t be effective. It‘s something you‘re either born with or not.”

“And what is that?” Spock said, truly puzzled.

“A sense of humor. See?” he said to Spock‘s frowning face. “Explaining doesn‘t help the situation, does it?” Khan considered a moment, then took the plunge. “Why do you hate me, Spock?” 

Spock barely glanced at him. He figured Khan would know his answer to that question. “Because you are evil.”

“I say there is another reason. I say you are jealous of me.”

“I suppress emotions.”

“Do you, now?” Khan gave Spock a knowing smile. “You did not even demand to know who I thought was the object of both of our interest. Is it because you do not like all of the time that your Captain Kirk spends with me?”

Spock breathed deeply. “That is not true.”

Khan smiled wisely. “That is not love and friendship shining out of your eyes for me, MR. Spock. That is not a very Vulcan emotion that you are feeling for me. Hatred is not pleasant for anyone, especially for the person doing the hating.”

“Do not concern yourself about my mental and emotional health.”

“Oh, but I do, Mr. Spock. You might well be the person I have to depend upon to save my life. I aim to keep you very healthy, both mentally and physically.”

“And emotionally?”

“You’re on your own as far as I know. I don’t know if anyone can help you there.” My, Khan thought with satisfaction, that felt good to say. Some mundane things, apparently, still could bring him pleasure.

“Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy try to help me.”

“That’s because they are your friends. I suppose they even like you.”

“As you say, they are my friends.”

Khan glimpsed at him with a wry, knowing look. “Ah, but the question is, are you theirs?”

“We are comrades and colleagues.”

“Do you understand what the term ‘friendship’ even means?”

“I suppose. As well as you do.”

“Touche.” Khan slowly grinned. Something he surely wasn’t in the habit of doing. “I believe that we understand each other again, Mr. Spock.”

Spock gave a slight, but gracious tip of his head. “I believe that you are right."


	9. Chapter 9

“Your mind is full of chicken mash this afternoon, Khan. I don’t know why you can’t concentrate on what I’m saying.“

“It’s not what you’re saying that’s bothering me, Kirk,” Khan answered as he and Kirk sat on their favorite bench beneath the rambling rose arbor. “It’s what you are also doing. It‘s difficult enough to follow your reasoning without having to dodge a knife whenever you decide to make a point.“

“What? This?” Kirk asked as he brought his hand up, and Khan ducked.

“What the hell are you supposed to be doing there, Kirk?! That knife makes me nervous.”

“I always wanted to try my hand at whittling a piece of wood. It always sounded so relaxing.”

“Not for the guy watching you,” Khan muttered. 

“Then listen to what I was trying to tell you.”

“Maybe it would be better if you concentrated on that knife?”

“I can multi-task!”

“This should be interesting. Your fingers aren’t as nimble as McCoy’s. It‘s only a matter of time until that knife slips. And then all hell should bust loose around here when that little green guy smells your blood in the air. He‘ll think I‘ve killed you, for sure.”

"Until then, I‘ll tell you again what I was saying.” He scooted a small pile of wood shavings aside. Then he studied the piece of wood he was whittling. “Does this look like the Enterprise to you?”

Khan frowned as he looked it over. “I thought it was going to be a whistle.”

Kirk frowned, also. “Really?” He tested it. “Hmm. Not bad. Two notes. Guess I’ll make a whistle. Not bad, Khan. You get the ideas, I’ll turn them into reality. We could turn out two, maybe three a week.”

Khan grinned. “That many? Are you wanting to start a cottage industry?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Something to do in our old age, I guess.”

“Come on, Kirk. You and I will both die out there fighting somebody for something. We’ll never go the cottage industry route.”

“No cat near the open fireplace?” Kirk asked sadly. “No beef stew bubbling on the back burner? No grandkids playing in the front yard? No checkers game down at the fire house on Saturday afternoons? No purple-haired ladies fighting over us at the church socials? No dozing through the day, then bitching because we can‘t sleep at night?”

“Sadly, not for us.”

“It’s a good plan, Khan.”

“I know,” Khan said softly.

“It’s kind of like the other plan we were just talking about, the plan about you rejoining your people in slumber.”

Khan frowned. “Was that just today?”

“Hmm. Yes. I do tend to repeat myself, don’t I? Yes, it was today. No, you weren’t paying attention.”

“How could I with that knife flashing around? That’s a three inch piece of wood in your hand, Kirk, not a three feet long tree branch. Pay attention, or that knife will slip.”

“Ha! Ha!” Kirk mocked. “Isn’t Khan funny!” Then, a moment later, he said, “Oops!” then “Ouch!” He held up a finger with blood already running down it. “I think the knife slipped,” he said, almost as if he was reporting the daily news.

“Damn it, Kirk!" Khan declared, jumping to his feet. "I told you to be careful!” He grabbed Kirk’s hand and started to wrap a clean rag around it. He looked up at Kirk’s suddenly pale face. “Don't tell me you get sick at the sight of blood!”

“I do when it’s mine!”

Khan withdrew the rag and examined the cut. Blood welled up again. “That cut looks deep. Luckily, we're standing in front of a hospital, so help is near.”

“Put the rag back on it! It‘s starting to bleed again!”

But instead, Khan stuck Kirk’s bleeding finger into his mouth. He looked intently up at Kirk, waited a moment, and then he swallowed. 

Kirk gasped in through his opened mouth. He thought he was going to faint. Khan was drinking his blood!

As if to make a point, Khan swallowed again.

Kirk’s world began to reel. He had felt Khan suck hard on his finger before he swallowed.

Then again Khan suckled, and then again he swallowed.

Kirk’s world tipped dramatically. I’m going to bleed to death from my index finger, Kirk thought. What are the odds of that happening? He expected that Spock could tell him. Nice to be thinking of his buddy Spock as he was dying from blood loss through his finger. He wondered if death by cut finger would be enough to get him into Valhalla. Probably not. Not dramatic enough. Not like getting a lance through the gullet. But how many lances come a fellah’s way nowadays? A cut finger would probably not be heroic enough, either. Damn! And he’d really wanted to go to Valhalla when he checked out of this world.

Khan removed Kirk‘s finger from his mouth, but kept staring steadily into Kirk‘s eyes. “Your blood, Kirk. And now it‘s mine. You are a part of me now, as I am a part of you.” 

Wow! That’s kind of neat, Kirk thought. That makes us blood brothers, doesn’t it? Maybe it wouldn’t count because the methods used to transfer blood were a little different than the traditional way of joining cut fingers. Kirk felt sad. He really wanted to belong to Khan in some way. All that blood letting was inspiring him. He wanted to give more to Khan. He wondered what else Khan would want of his? Surely, there was something else that Khan would like to have that belonged to him.

Khan didn’t realize how spaced out Kirk was. He simply busied himself with wrapping the rag back around the wound and thinking that Kirk had been something of an idiot to use a sharp knife anyway. 

Kirk felt queasy from either the shock of blood loss or from the shock of seeing Khan drink his blood. He didn’t know which. Either would qualify. He was shaky, though, and felt light-headed. He might need help. Maybe he‘d better let Khan know about that, just in case.

“Hey,” Kirk croaked softly and tapped Khan on the shoulder with his free hand. “Ah--”

Khan looked up and frowned. “What the-- Are you going to faint on me, Kirk?”

“Maybe.” He thought it over. “Yeah.” And then James T. Kirk closed his eyes, folded gracefully, and slid gently toward the ground. 

“Damn it, Kirk!” Khan caught him and lifted him up into his arms. “Just like a damn girl,” Khan muttered as he made sure he had tucked all of Kirk‘s extremities into his grasp. Didn’t want a leg trailing and tripping him up. He looked down at the sweaty, pale face lying on his shoulder and grinned. “I’ll be damned,” Khan muttered. “The mighty Jim Kirk. Not as mighty now, are you?“ He looked up and down the handsome face, now unconscious. “How many times have I wanted to get you at a disadvantage like this. And now, here you are, Jim Kirk. Weak and vulnerable. I could do anything I wanted with you. Humiliate you. Kill you. You’re mortal, after all. I should pitch you to the wolves. Let them fight over your carcass.“ But he didn’t. Instead he gazed at Kirk, puzzled. “I don’t understand you, Kirk. Why are trying so hard to help me? Why do you even care about me?“

But Kirk didn’t answer. Khan frowned down at him. The longer Khan held Kirk, the longer Khan became aware of his feelings for Kirk changing, that maybe his feelings had been changing since they‘d gotten on the Enterprise. The helpless creature in his arms seemed to appeal to Khan’s sympathy and even to his protectiveness. 

And suddenly something else made itself known that Khan didn‘t want to recognize, but realized was there, nonetheless. That new feeling for Kirk went way beyond sympathy or protectiveness, and it involved the fact that Kirk was lying in his arms and vulnerable. As if Kirk belonged to him.

And Khan reacted.

He gently gathered Kirk close to his chest for a moment and closed his eyes. “Oh, Jim Kirk, why am I feeling this way?“ he softly mumbled. “What are you doing to me?“ His fingers gently touched Kirk’s cheek as his eyes flicked over Kirk’s face. His lips curved back in a soft smile. 

Why do we have to be enemies, he wondered.

An insane urge came over him. He wanted to kiss Kirk’s brow, a kiss something akin to the gentle kiss a mother might bestow on her child sleeping in her arms. Tears smarted in Khan’s eyes as he fought back his longing. It seemed somehow wrong to do that without Kirk’s knowledge. Kirk should not only be awake, but wanting Khan’s kiss. But when in the hell would that ever happen?!

Wake up, damn you, and look at me! I have something to ask you!

Nothing.

Damn you, Jim Kirk. You twist the knife deep, don’t you?

Then Khan talked himself back to reality and carried Kirk carefully toward the clinic.

“What happened?” Spock demanded as he rushed to open the door for Khan.

“Kirk cut himself.”

“How badly? Is anything missing? Does he require surgery? Is there major blood loss?”

“He’ll be okay, Spock. We just have to get him patched up. Handle the doors for me, okay?”

McCoy looked up and frowned when Spock abruptly shoved the door open. Now what, McCoy wondered. “What’s wrong?!” he demanded the next moment when he saw Khan carrying Kirk inside.

“He cut himself,” Khan explained as he laid Kirk down on the examining table, then dove to prevent Kirk from tumbling off the other side. “He passed out from some blood loss.”

McCoy looked around for massive wounds. There had to be something terribly wrong. James T. Kirk didn’t just pass out. McCoy had seen Kirk in too many battles. The man was an unfeeling machine. But, yet, here Kirk lay unconscious with not a mark on him. 

McCoy glanced again, but still could see nothing wrong. “What? Where‘s the wound? I don’t see anything.”

Khan extracted the hand that had hidden itself at Kirk‘s side. “Here. His finger.”

McCoy frowned at the small, bloody rag on the hand that Khan held out to him. “What?! That finger?! You bothered me for that?! Why, that‘s nothing but a--”

“Doctor” Khan lay Kirk’s hand on his chest, straightened, and stared intently at McCoy. “There is your patient. He is wounded and unconscious. I suggest that you treat him.” 

McCoy’s eyes reflected his lack of comprehension.

Khan’s eyes slid toward Spock, then back to McCoy. “His little green friend is starting to look indignant. I know what can happen when he starts looking that way. Somebody‘s going to get hurt. First, though, he yells your name. To get your attention, I guess, or to warn you. So watch out if he takes a deep breath. That yelling is something you don‘t want coming at you if you‘re not ready for it. Trust me.”

McCoy glanced at Spock and also saw his rising anger. “I believe you make an excellent point, Khan. I’ll take another look at Jim.”

“Good call, Doctor.” He leaned toward McCoy. “Kirk fainted from blood loss and trauma.” Khan straightened. “He’ll be okay in a few minutes. Just don’t eat rare steak around him for a few days. Trust me on that, too.“

McCoy frowned, then shook his head. He wasn’t going to ask.

Khan headed for the door. “I’ll just take Spock out of here so you can work and he can get some fresh air. He got a little stirred up.”

“Yes, I can see that. Thank you,” McCoy muttered, wondering how he should start treating a well man after he’d put a fresh bandage on a cut finger and waved smelling salts under Kirk‘s nose.

 

“Thank you for helping Captain Kirk,” Spock said outside. His face seemed a healthier shade of green than it had just been indoors.

“I was glad that I was there, Spock,” Khan answered. For a moment outside, he thought he‘d have to be carrying the Vulcan back inside the clinic, also. What was it with these Federation crusaders? They were dropping like flies today.

But how ironic if he would have to help Spock, though, after Spock had nearly beaten him to death.

“Do you want to sit down for awhile, Spock?”

Spock shook his head. “I’ll be alright. The fresh air helps.”

“Do you faint at the sight of blood?”

Spock shook his head again. “It was the sight of you carrying Jim. I knew something had to be very wrong with him for that to happen.”

“I wouldn’t harm an unconscious man.”

“I know that now.“ Spock studied Khan. “You are like Captain Kirk. You are honorable and compassionate.”

“I appreciate being in such a select grouping.”

Spock frowned. “Are you being facetious?”

“No. I am being truthful. Spock, know this about me. I will not harm your Captain Kirk. I respect him. He is trying, for some reason, to help me. He sure has a lot of determination about him, doesn’t he?”

“That is a third quality he has along with being honorable and compassionate.”

“How about being likable for a fourth?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking out loud. Well,” he said in satisfaction, “I believe that you will survive now. Just like Kirk. I figured he’d make it all along, except for just now, when McCoy seemed incompetent and uncomprehending. I guess we surprised him a little.”

Spock just nodded.

Khan turned Spock back toward the door to the clinic. “Now, go back inside and be with your friends. I expect Kirk is conscious by now and needing you.”

After Spock took Khan’s suggestion, Khan stood outside and felt very lonesome. He knew he wouldn’t have been included in that group of friends even though he had just saved Kirk. 

From a cut finger.

 

A few days after the Great Finger Crisis, Kirk was again challenging Khan to explain himself. Neither had alluded to Khan’s drinking of Kirk’s blood since the incident had occurred.

“Is all going well with that part of your rehabilitation?” Kirk wanted to know.

“I believe so.” Khan took a chance. “Why are you so concerned, Kirk?”

“I need to know for my report.”

“Oh. Of course. Your report.” Of course, Khan said to himself. Not because Kirk was concerned about him, or anything personal like that.

“Did you happen to pick up that whittling knife I was using the other day?”

“What? Oh, that knife.” Khan fished in his pocket and pulled it out. “Here. I found it and picked it up. I figured that you would want it back. I cleaned the blood off it for you.”

Kirk wanted to ask if Khan had licked it clean, but felt his stomach react. So he kept his peace and his lunch.

“Thanks. I’ll get this back to McCoy,” Kirk said. “It belonged to his father. I just had borrowed it from him. Did you happen to see that piece of wood I was whittling?”

“Whittling?”

“Yes. I said it was the Enterprise.” He grinned. “You said it was a whistle.”

“Oh, that piece of wood.”

“Well, it was worth a shot. I thought I’d keep it as a souvenir.”

That’s why the piece of wood was resting in Khan’s other pocket. Wrapped in a rag with Jim Kirk’s blood on it. Khan wanted it as a souvenir, also.

But Khan didn’t tell Kirk that.

 

Laura Kessler looked out the window without seeing. “Such a haunted soul.”

Leonard McCoy looked up from his work. “Who? Khan?”

“Yes, Khan. Khan Noonien Singh. Even his name sounds so alien.”

“That’s because he is. But don’t let him fool you, Laura. He’s a devil.”

Laura turned away from the window and faced McCoy. “Oh, you and James carry on so. Khan seems alright to me. He’s a little quiet perhaps, but I expect that good food and stable living will help him quite a bit.”

“Now, don’t go thinking that homemade noodles and a quince pie will be turning his head any.”

“Don’t tell me that you’re jealous,” she said with amusement.

“Me?! Never! I’m just warning you about him. Don’t waste your vast array of charms on him. He’s interested only in preserving his people.”

“I’m not the only one intrigued by him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Who, darling. Who do I mean.”

“Alright. WHO do you mean?”

“Why, your exalted Captain James T. Kirk, that’s who!”

McCoy frowned. “Jim?”

“Yes, dear. Haven’t you noticed James watching Khan?”

“I think Jim doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to be thinking about him. Khan inadvertently caused the death of someone who Jim loved dearly, Christopher Pike, although Marcus had been giving Khan orders. But then Khan’s blood saved Jim’s life. Khan is a part of Jim now, and Jim honors that bond. Jim is a man of action. He can’t quite understand Khan’s melancholy brooding. Something about that romantic nature appeals to people, and Jim is no exception. And you, my dear Laura, may be another victim of that devil’s unwitting charm.”

“Don’t carry on so, Dr. McCoy. I’ll think you’re jealous, yet.”

“You might not believe this, Laura, but jealousy is a poor second to what I fear from Khan.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I fear our destruction.”

“My goodness, you are morbid this evening.”

“It’s like someone walked over my grave. I have an uneasy sense of foreboding.”

“Now who is this melancholy, brooding introvert?” she asked as she snuggled against him. “He looks like my husband, but Len is never this troubled when I’m around.”

“You’re right,” he said taking her into his arms. “I need to shake the melodrama, right?”

“That’s right, Dr. McCoy. As of right now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” McCoy said in his best Southern accent. “Anything to please a beautiful lady.”

“That’s more like it,” Laura said smartly. “Now, let’s get down to our waterfall, and I’ll show you what life is like on the other side of melodrama.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Still the feeling of foreboding followed McCoy, but he kept it to himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Jim Kirk lay floating on his back in the lukewarm waters below the lovely waterfall in McCoy and Laura’s backyard. He was absolutely at peace and nearly asleep. This must have been how he had felt in his mother’s womb. Some primitive remembrance told him that he recollected rightly.

He knew that he was half-asleep and kept reminding himself to hold his chin up and his head back so he wouldn’t sink and drown. He had to grin to himself. What an inglorious ending that would be for him! He doubted that would get him into Valhalla any quicker than checking out over a cut finger.

Could his famous luck run out in such an ordinary manner, so ignominiously?

After all of his swashbuckling adventures, to drown like any common person might! In fact, it would be worse. Most people could save themselves. And he liked to think that he wasn’t any common person. No, sirree! He was made of finer clay.

But he wasn’t stupid enough to imagine that he wasn’t mortal. He wasn’t a Khan. 

But it was so languid here, floating in lazy circles, rocking back and forth by the action of the waves created by the nearby falling waters. He could stay here forever, listening to the hum of nearby insects, toasted by an obliging sun that twinkled and sparkled on the dancing waters. Kirk was nearly drunk from the over-indulgence of satiation, and he was enjoying his gluttony. 

But through his sense-numbing torpor, he became aware of admiring eyes on his golden body glistening in the misting water and obliging sunshine. Hell, he could give a good show if he had an appreciative audience! That discerning person was in for a treat!

He twisted his head around without opening his eyes and showed how inviting he could be. He moved his hands through the waters, then up over his abdomen, trailing water across his golden skin. The warm water created tiny waves, slapping against his floating body, rocking him gently. He extended his arms, palms downward from elbows extended. He was a bobbing piece of driftwood on the ocean surface. He was a lighter-than-air thistledown floating on the breeze. He was completely relaxed and ready to be manipulated like pliable molding clay. None of his muscles worked anymore. He was completely pliable. No barriers restrained him. He was vulnerable to whatever was out there. He was defenseless and naïve. Anything could happen, and he could not stop it. He would permit it. He would encourage it. All it took was a little effort, and he would surrender. Gladly. Willingly. Easily. Just take what was wanted. Or needed. Or demanded.

Damned! If that didn’t do anything for his audience, it sure as hell did for him!

Finally he could stand the mystery no longer. He turned his head toward the beach and opened his eyes.

He had to squint across the dancing, sun-dappled waters. He couldn’t see much. But he could tell it wasn’t a female. No woman was that powerfully built.

Damn! Not a female.

Hmm. Not a female.

Tall. Broad shouldered. Filled up the space.

Hell. Khan.

Kirk squinted again.

No regulation dark coat that looked like it swept the ground. It didn’t. It just had that look.

Instead Khan wore a white shirt tucked into the waistband above slim hips. A deep, deep V in the middle of the shirt. What the hell was Khan supposed to be? That shirt made him look like a damn pirate. A damn, sexy pirate.

Hmm. Khan.

Kirk suddenly decided he’d had enough water sports for the day. He sank his butt and started for shore.

There was nothing beneath his feet. Maybe the legend that the pool was bottomless was true. Good thing he hadn’t sunk. His body could’ve been lost forever. He would’ve become part of the legend of the waterfalls and its bottomless pool. Not bad trade for missing out on Valhalla!

Damn! he was in a romantic mood today! He just hoped Khan was, too. A session of casual flirting just might be what he was needing to get the old juices flowing again. That type of activity never hurt anybody.

When at last Kirk felt ground beneath his feet, he stopped swimming and started walking toward Khan. He knew damned well the picture he was offering as his body slowly emerged from the water and presented more and more of his nakedness for Khan’s eyes to inspect. Damn, that Jim Kirk could be a tease! Mercy!

His swimming trunks were lower slung and longer legged than when he’d entered the water. He hoped he wasn’t losing them. That wouldn’t be sexy at all, just blatant. But the way the trunks were acting, softly hugging his hips, they were a tease to both Kirk and Khan.

Just when he could feel the water at the top of his trunks, he stopped. He knew his bellybutton was showing and that Khan was wondering if Kirk had lost his trunks when he’d shifted in the waters and was unaware of it.

That mystery had to be getting Khan’s juices simmering. Kirk knew his were.

“Not enough buttons to finish that shirt?” he called cheerfully.

Khan looked down at his own chest.

“Or you just couldn’t get the material stretched around enough without ripping the shirt?”

Khan grunted with laughter. He looked almost pleasant. “I might ask the same about your attire,” Khan answered as he watched Kirk splash the last few feet ashore and head toward his spread beach towel which happened to be at Khan‘s feet.

“What? These?” Kirk looked down at the swimming trunks riding low and matted on his hips.

“What is that? Terry cloth?”

“Yeah, must be. It’s like wearing a bath towel.”

“There must not even be a cup inside. How freeing.”

Kirk squinted at him in the sunshine and smiled. “It lets all my guys breathe, that’s for sure.”

Khan grinned.

I’ll be damned, Kirk thought. Khan is acting damned pleasant. It’s like bullshitting with a casual acquaintance. Narsarya B and its lotus blossoms are working.

Kirk hitched up his trunks, exposing his upper legs. The soggy material bunched in mats onto his hips and abdomen. “It just keeps getting worse.”

Khan laughed, actually laughed. “At least your legs escaped. Now it looks like you have only a tea towel around your bottom.” He gave the area a very open, appreciative look. “Barely. I’d say just strip the whole soggy mess off, but half of this damn planet would be watching.” He looked up and gave Kirk a level look. “And I don’t want to share that sight.”

Damn! Khan could flirt, too!

"You've got a beautiful day for swimming."

"Just what I ordered." It always amazed Kirk that they could request whatever weather they wanted on this amazing planet. "McCoy told me to soak my finger."

Khan laughed again. Kirk was beginning to like it when that happened. "I doubt if he meant for you to soak your whole body," Khan said.

"It's working, though. Just look at this finger." Kirk held up his finger.

Khan frowned. "That's amazing! Are you a fast healer?"

"Not that fast. I think this planet must have something to do with it. Maybe that's another plus to this place."

"Maybe." Khan handed a towel to Kirk. “Here. You need to dry off.”

Kirk looked at Khan levelly, then accepted the towel. He made a few halfhearted swipes at his chest, then sank down on his beach towel on his knees.

“There’s room for two,” he offered up at Khan.

Khan raised his eyebrows almost the same way Spock would do, then accepted the offer and sank down on his knees on the beach towel, also.

Kirk felt brazen as hell. He unceremoniously floated down on his stomach and settled his head on his arms folded in front of him. He motioned his head toward his towel. “Do my back.”

Khan looked startled. “You’d trust me?”

“You’d have a towel in your hand, not a stiletto.” Kirk wiggled to make himself more comfortable. “Wipe.”

Khan gently complied. He wiped Kirk’s shoulders and patted Kirk’s back. Kirk hummed, flexed himself, and rooted down in pleasure. A smile curved along his lips.

“You’re enjoying yourself,” Khan remarked.

Kirk smiled. “Yup.”

“Do you often have homicidal criminals at your beck and call?”

Kirk‘s smile deepened. “Nope.”

Khan stopped wiping and his opened hand rested palm down on the nape of Kirk’s neck. “I could snap your neck before you take your next breath,” he said softly. “I could simply wrap my fingers around your neck and squeeze, you know.” 

“I know.”

“Aren’t you worried?”

“Nope.”

“You’ve seen what I can do. You watched me crush Marcus’s head in.”

“Yup.”

“Why aren’t you worried?”

“Four reasons,” Kirk said in a voice that sounded like its owner was about to surrender to sleep.

“Four? I’m surprised you can find one.”

“Interested in them?”

“Certainly. Amuse me.”

“One, you aren’t pissed off at me like you were at Marcus. I didn‘t torture you physically and mentally the way he did.”

“Well, that’s true.”

“Two, you play fair. You keep the body count down when possible. You spare the innocent. Hell, I’m more ruthless than you are. We both know that.”

“Well, alright, that’s all true. And three?”

Kirk opened his eyes and looked up at Khan. “Three, Spock would hunt you down and finish the job he started on you.”

“He could try.”

“Oh, he’d do it. He’s one tough little bastard when he lets go of his emotions. And he would let go of his emotions if you killed me. He kind of likes me, you see.” Kirk settled his face back down on his hands and closed his eyes again. “He wouldn’t need you to save me again because I’d be lying back here near this waterfall with a broken neck, courtesy of you. Plus, you’d have the rest of the Enterprise crew in on the chase. And you’d piss McCoy off because you’d give his paradise a bad name. And because you’d killed me. He kind of likes me, too. Thinks we’re friends. You know. The buddy thing. He’s touchy about me and Spock that way, especially if someone tries to hurt one of us.” He smiled his dreamy smile and had no way of knowing if Khan saw it because Kirk’s eyes were closed. “So it is in your best interests to keep me fit and healthy.”

“I understand that now. I guess I just needed some of those points clarified.” Then he suddenly remembered. “What was the fourth reason?”

“Huh?”

“You said there were four reasons you weren’t worried that I’d harm you.”

“Oh, that,” Kirk said with a satisfied sigh. “That’s easy. You like me.”

Khan looked startled at last, and Kirk felt Khan’s hand stiffen, then withdraw completely. Kirk kind of missed that sheltering hand on his bare skin.

“What makes you think that?”

“Oh. Lots of reasons.”

“Oh? Amuse me.”

Kirk didn’t smile, but he felt pleasure. He had rattled Khan and he knew it. He had heard it in Khan’s voice.

“One, you respect me.”

“I always respect someone who beats me.”

“Then you must respect the hell out of Spock.”

“I was winning that fight, then Uhura stunned me twice.”

“Sucker punched by a girl. How demeaning for a guy.”

“Yes,” Khan agreed moodily.

“Two, you know I fight for what is right and just.”

“Well, yes, you do. If I had my choice of you or Marcus, you’d win.”

“I’d hope so. Three, you like my style. Swashbuckler. Romancer. Fun lover. Over-achiever. What’s not to love about me?”

“Lack of humility? Lack of caution? Lack of respect?”

Kirk pushed himself up. “Lack of respect?!”

Khan pushed him back down onto the beach towel. “For the laws of nature. For common sense. For the other guy’s short comings.”

“That’s the other guy’s problem,” Kirk mumbled.

“Why else do I like you, Kirk?”

“Because we’re two of a kind. You see yourself in me. We’re two sides of the same coin.”

Khan looked startled again, then thought a moment. Finally he grinned. “You’ve painted yourself into a corner, Jim Kirk.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You like me, too!”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“Most people don’t.”

“I’m not most people.”

“I’m realizing that more all the time.” Khan started wiping Kirk’s lower back. “Tell me why you like me.”

“Oh, lots of reasons,” Kirk murmured.

“Oh, really?” Khan challenged. He was liking this game, and he didn’t like games. “Amuse me.”

“You’ve been pissed on a lot.”

“That makes you like me?”

“No. The fact that you come back swinging shows that you’re no quitter.”

“Number two.”

“You’re educated. You know a lot.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to study. And to think.”

“Yeah, I expect there would be a lot of spare time in three hundred years.” Kirk opened his eyes and looked up at Khan. “The way I figure it, though, you’re actually no older than I am.”

“Really? Why do you think that?”

Kirk closed his eyes and rooted his face against his hands again. “All of that down time you spend asleep. Hibernation suspends your aging process.”

“Interesting point. I don’t feel a day over thirty-three.”

“That’s because you probably aren’t, if you figure it by awake time.”

“That’s only two reasons, Kirk,” Khan reminded him.

“Three, you stand by your friends. Look how you’ve tried to take care of your crew. It’s your primary concern.”

“Yes,” Khan agreed with remoteness sounding in his voice. “I’d do anything for them. As you would yours. So far, I could say the same things about you.”

“How about this? I like the way you’ve taken fifteen minutes to wipe off my back that didn’t need wiping off at all except for a quick swipe.”

“Oh? Well, maybe I have neglected other areas.”

“I didn’t mean--“ Kirk felt the towel drop across the tops of his legs, and he tried to hide the shiver that action caused him. “Don’t tell me.”

“Yes, Captain. I’ve neglected that area. Deliberately.” And he started wiping Kirk’s skin ever so gently.

McCoy’s favorite expletive came to mind as Kirk’s hands became unintentional claws. He certainly hadn’t meant to show that much of a reaction to Khan’s hand on his body, but that hand was undeniably close to Kirk’s Holy Shrine. Well, when Kirk thought about it, Both of Kirk’s Holy Shrines.

“Your trunks are nearly dry,” Khan murmured as he concentrated on his labors. 

He was deliberately getting close to the Holy Shrines, but not too close. Kirk couldn’t make up his mind which option was worse.

“Imagine that,” Kirk managed to answer. If his terry cloth trunks were almost dry, then why in the hell wasn’t Kirk’s flesh that Khan was administering to so carefully? He didn’t want to question Khan, though, because that might make Khan stop the delicious touching that Kirk was finding so appealing. Touching the back of his thighs was bad enough, but the inner thighs about made him bite his wrists. And while he was thinking about that area, when in the hell had he spread his legs apart like that?! How inviting did that picture have to be for Khan’s eyes?!

Khan’s open hand landed face down on top of Kirk’s fleshy hip. Kirk could feel his soft flesh vibrate with the motion. How in the hell would it feel for that hand to come down harder on that hip? Or harder yet?

Kirk forced the whimper back and measured his nearest wrist for a bone-crushing bite. He automatically tensed his butt cheek under Khan‘s hand.

He knew that Khan had felt the contraction. The damn bastard had laughter in his voice when he spoke. “You’re getting a little plump there, Kirk. Why is that?”

Kirk figured Khan meant the food that Kirk loved to eat. Kirk took it a different direction, though. He looked over his shoulder at Khan with a challenge in his voice. “I want a nice cushion.”

Khan looked a little startled, then fought back a grin. But his eyes still twinkled. “Why do you need a nice cushion?”

Kirk didn’t bat an eye. “Guess.”

The two men stared at each other intensely. The world might have stopped for them in that moment. Or started.

“Now, isn’t this a nice picture!”

They both looked around, startled. Laura Kessler looked back with amusement on her face. There seemed to be just a wee bit of jealousy there, too, Kirk noticed.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Kessler,” Khan greeted pleasantly, but he didn’t move his hand off Kirk’s ass. He kept it on there possessively.

Kirk figured Khan didn’t really know what to do with his hand. That brazen hand had to be shining up at Laura as if it had a floodlight on it. The two men had been caught red-handed, and now red-faced, playing footsy. Or, rather, playing handsy on the assy. Or whatever in the hell it could be called, they were caught doing it.

Khan at last removed his hand, but not before he pressed downward and clinched his fingers slightly into that spongy softness. Laura couldn’t see that groping, Kirk figured, but he had certainly felt it. The covert action had registered distinctly at Holy Shrine Number One, as well as at Holy Shrine Number Two. Particularly at Holy Shrine Number Two. Khan’s fingers were just mere inches from it. Holy Shrine Number Two was definitely interested, as well as Kirk in general. His whole body vibrated with possibility. Why didn’t the damn woman just go away and leave them alone?!

Kirk looked away, sized up his nearest wrist for biting, but squeezed his eyes shut tightly, instead.

MORE! Kirk’s ass screamed. Kirk hadn’t realized that his ass had a voice, but Khan had managed to find it and give it vocal cords. The bastard probably had a whole array of hidden talents. Kirk wondered what else Khan could do for him, and with him. Kirk felt perspiration pop out on his face. He wondered idly what it would be like to be subjected to a three hundred year old love object. The damned bastard could probably make Kirk’s whole body sing. 

But not now.

Kirk turned his head back to Laura and said pleasantly, “How nice to see you again, Dr. Kessler.”

“Now, James,” she chided. “I thought we’d gone over this. You are to call me ‘Laura.’ I won’t have it any other way, either.”

Kirk smiled happily. “Yes, ma’am. Laura.”

“There. That’s better. I see that you gentlemen are taking in the sunshine. You have a fine day for it.” She raised an eyebrow. “And for other activities.”

“Our man ‘James’ here has been swimming,” Khan explained. “I was just drying places he couldn’t reach.”

“Well. Don’t let me detain you. Carry on with your project.” Her voice got flinty. “I believe you’ve reached a whole series of places he would have trouble reaching from his present angle and situation. Arms are only so long, aren‘t they?”

Kirk would’ve never believed that Khan could blush like that. He wondered if he could make Khan blush. He’d certainly like to take that challenge.

“I believe he’s had enough sun and swimming for one day,” Khan said. “He’s getting a little red. We wouldn’t want him to burn, would we?”

From that exchange, Kirk could now assume that he, too, was blushing as plainly as any demure bride.

“Well, if we left him to himself, he could tan all over and not have those nasty swimsuit lines, wouldn’t he?” Laura said.

Beside him, Kirk heard Khan’s gasp of breath.

Kirk took in the situation. If he stripped and lay out as Laura proposed, he would be exposed to the world at large. He swore that the waterfall seemed to have fallen further away. And the surrounding trees didn’t seem so enclosing anymore. Passing airplanes could probably make out his appendicitis scar. Anything larger would be difficult to miss. Airline passengers could readily ascertain that he was a guy.

Kirk bet his blush could challenge the one that Khan had just given them.

“You’re right, Khan,” Laura agreed. “James’s face is starting to look nasty. He might be starting to burn. He better go inside.”

Kirk jumped to his feet so quickly that he tripped himself. He reached out to steady himself by grabbing Khan’s shoulder. Khan automatically reached up to help, and his hand caught Kirk high on the thigh. Then it slid toward Kirk’s front Holy Shrine. Guess who that action woke up?

Kirk gasped at the sudden urgency for privacy that he was wanting. He nodded vaguely in their direction. “Laura. Khan. See you at dinner.”

Kirk escaped with his modesty almost intact. A damn cup in his swimming trunks might’ve helped hide certain rising problems. Anything! 

He grimaced. Or made matters worse.

But through his departing agony, he wondered if the other two were having the same thoughts he was. Laura and Khan? Laura and Kirk? Khan and Kirk?

Or maybe a threesome?

Damn!

Kirk wanted to bite his bottom lip in two.

“Captain Kirk, I wonder if I might have a moment?” Spock asked as he suddenly stepped into Kirk’s path.

“Not now, Spock!” Kirk declared as he stiffly sidestepped his First Officer.

“But, Captain, it is highly important--” Spock said to Kirk’s departing figure.

“I don’t care if the whole damn universe is coming to an end, and I am the only one who could possibly prevent it! That does not compare to MY present problem!” And he hurried away, with Spock looking puzzled at his departure.


	11. Chapter 11

Kirk wasn’t the only one with a dilemma. Khan’s was longer lasting, but no less sharp and urgent. 

Khan Noonien Singh stood on the bank of the pool and stared at the thundering waterfalls nearby without seeing it. Several days had passed since he and Kirk had sat on a beach towel on this very spot. Several days during which Khan had lived over and over again the memory of trading playful banter with Kirk and of touching Kirk’s elastic skin. Several days of missing Kirk and wishing they could relive that golden time for real. 

Khan couldn’t get Jim Kirk out of his mind. The damn bastard seemed to have taken up permanent residence there. The trouble was, Khan wanted Kirk there. Because Kirk belonged there. And Khan knew why. Because Kirk belonged to him.

Khan never thought he would ever feel this way again for another person. He thought that all of his concern should be with his people. But now Kirk, that damnable Kirk, with his cute, plump ass and that flirty grin, was all that Khan could think about. 

Khan knew when Kirk was near. He could feel him on his personal radar. At the dinner table an elbow away. When they took turns dancing on the veranda with Laura. Strolling the rolling lawns by themselves. But mostly just being together and talking in the tiny garden known as Laura’s Jewel. Those could be the best times and the worst, because they were so ordinary and familiar now. He and Kirk were comfortable with each other and seemed almost like friends. 

But it also went beyond that, as far as Khan was concerned. It was physical. He could feel himself being drawn to Kirk and that golden body of his. Khan noticed that parts of his own body were responding dramatically to his thoughts about Kirk, parts of his body that he thought wouldn’t respond to anything of that nature ever again. Turned out, his body just needed the right stimulus to reawaken ancient yearnings. All it took was the nearness of a certain smart ass Starfleet captain with a quicksilver attitude and a maddening grin. 

Kirk was alive, and Khan wanted to be alive with him. Khan didn’t want to be frozen in a state of nothingness in an impersonal pod near unresponsive beings. He wanted to be in the sunshine with Kirk. And for all of that, he felt shame.

He might be able to turn away from his people, but there had to be a good reason for his sacrifice. Khan wanted something permanent and eternal awaiting him. But he sensed that Kirk could never be those things for him. 

 

“How could you possibly come up with the conclusion that we are friends, Kirk?” Khan glanced at his companion seated on one of the stone benches in Laura’s Jewel. “Vowing to protect me and my pods is one thing. But you don’t have to pretend to be this other thing, a friend. Besides, your friends don’t want to share you.”

“I am not up for grabs,” Kirk asserted. “I am my own person.”

“Does Spock know that? Does McCoy?”

“McCoy has a wife now.”

“But that didn’t break up you three guys. I expect that’s intimidating to Laura.”

“Maybe that’s why she and I never hit it off. But she likes Spock.”

“I don’t know how. He’s so aloof.”

“That could be part of it. I’m too outgoing.”

“And overconfident.”

“I’ll ignore that. But I understand what you’re saying. I’ve never needed her. She likes needy people.” He frowned at Khan. “You must really appeal to her.”

Khan shrugged. “We get along.” He glanced at Kirk. “But not like you and I get along. We’re equals. My blood flows through your veins, and yours through mine. We share a heritage now, and I don’t mean anything philosophical or political. I understand you, Kirk, because we are alike.” Khan paused. “Do you believe that your blood could improve me?“

“Yes. By making you more human.“

Khan grinned. “Why do you think I would want to be weaker?“

“Not weaker, Khan. That’s just physical. You wanted to be more like me in spirit.“

“And why would I want to be more like you, puny creature that you are?“

“Because of my heart and my ethics.” 

“Alright, say that your blood improved me. Therefore, you have become baser because of my blood. Do we agree on that?”

“Regrettably, yes.”

“And do we agree that people are drawn to you? Even me?”

“Yes. People just like to be around my energy, I guess.”

“Lastly,“ Khan said softly, “do we know yet why you are intrigued by me?”

“No, we don’t,” Kirk almost snapped. “I think everyone gets mesmerized by something exotic. To quote Spock, what I’m feeling is something similar to watching a spider spin its web, or a snake charmer practicing his skills. I suspect that it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with blood. We both better back off before we get any further into a mess we won’t be able to handle.”

“You’ll understand if I stay away from you, then? I don‘t need an involvement, either.”

“It’s for the best,” Kirk agreed. 

They‘d danced around about what they’d been trying to say, but had managed to get their meaning across, anyway. There was an attraction between them, but they wouldn’t explore it.

But, as he walked away, Kirk felt a hollowness inside himself. He seemed like a coward, too, like he wasn‘t facing a basic truth. Maybe he had just ignored something very important, and it was nagging at him now. Anyway, it all left him feeling like he’d made a huge mistake. 

 

Khan had ached, literally ached, to have Kirk in his arms again. He had walked away feeling lost and incomplete. He yearned to be embracing someone.

That wish came true. One moment, he was appearing for his daily screening, and the next Laura Kessler was in his arms. It felt nice to be holding a body again. He just wished it was a certain Starfleet captain.

Yet a stimulation was there in his arms, and he responded. Most men would. It was a body. Not the body he wanted, but a willing body, nonetheless. 

“Laura, you can‘t do this.”

“I don’t care, Khan. I can’t help myself. I want you.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, trying to keep up with her urgent kisses. “I’m something forbidden. I am a known criminal, a scourge on society.“

“No, you aren’t. You’re good. You’re misunderstood.“

“You’re something forbidden. You are married.”

“I know. I am wanton. But I can’t help myself.”

“I’m exotic.”

“And needy.” She managed a smile. “Damn needy.”

“That’s why we can’t.” He pushed her away. “Besides, it would break too many hearts. And my people could be endangered.”

“Always, your people!”

“They are mine. I am responsible for their welfare. They trusted me. I am their leader. I will take care of what is mine.”

“And what if I want to be yours?”

He gave her a bitter smile. “Perhaps it is time for the beautiful Laura to hear the word ‘no’ spoken to her. I imagine she has never heard that word directed to her very often.’

“Imagine me,” she said with bitterness in her own voice, “jealous of seventy-two popsicles.”

“Laura,” he remonstrated. “That’s beneath you.”

“I can’t help it.” She looked at him with smoldering eyes. “I want to be beneath you.”

“Laura--”

“When is it our turn?”

“Laura. I think you’re a little selfish and are used to getting what you want.”

“You think right, Khan Noonien Singh. And I want you.”

“Well, I don’t want you. The price of having you is too high.”

“We shall see how high a price you could pay,” she said haughtily.

“Is that a threat, my dear?” he asked in appreciation.

“More of a promise.” Her blue, blue eyes looked flinty. “My dear.”

She was starting to wear him down. Coitus with her might be diverting. She could be had without much effort. And she might be able to help his people. “Perhaps I shall have to have you, after all. Leonard McCoy cannot possibly appreciate you the way you need to be appreciated.”

She could smell victory, and a conquest. “That’s what I’ve been saying all along. Besides, you need to get away from Kirk.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don‘t act coy with me. I‘ve seen how you and Kirk look at each other. The other day at the waterfalls was the cincher. If I hadn‘t shown up, you two would have been all over each other worse than you were.” 

“We are two grown men, capable of thinking for ourselves and making our own decisions.“

“No, you aren’t. Khan. Darling. You’ve been out of the loop too long. Kirk is only toying with you. He loves to flirt. He has as much substance as that sand beneath your feet the other day.”

“Are you certain?”

“Len is one of his oldest and closest friends. He’s known Kirk for years. He says the man is a notorious womanizer. He can’t be serious about anything. Things come too easily to him, so he doesn’t appreciate what normal people go through.”

“But he was so personable.”

“I’m not saying he isn’t. He’s a very charming person. But there’s nothing permanent about him. You today, a new interest tomorrow. It’s all the same to him. Listen to me, Khan, I’m leaving.“

“You are?“

“Yes. I’m bored. Come with me. Get away while you still can. I’ll give you the stability that Kirk can’t. I will help you. I want to help. Kirk would help, but only as it applies to him. He’s also a taker. He would take you from your people. Aren’t you already thinking more about him than them?” Knowing she had hit on her most important point, she felt victorious. 

He stood, lost in thought and deeply troubled.

“Khan. I will help you get what you want. And it needs to be away from here, away from the influence of Kirk and his friends.” She gave him a knowing look. “It is in your best interests to be gracious to me.”

Khan shook himself and accepted that he now had a role to play with the person who could best help him. He gallantly lifted her hand and touched his lips against her fingertips. “Until I can kiss more of you, my dear.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Yes. We shall see about that, Mr. Khan.”

He arched an eyebrow himself. “I believe that I understand now. It’s all in the chase and not in the victory, isn’t it? And McCoy is boring now.”

“He was amusing. And needy. For awhile.” Her voice hardened. “And then his damn friends showed up.”

“And when I begin to bore you?”

Now she knew she had his attention. “We shall see.” She gently, but firmly, withdrew her hand from his. “Now, be gone with you.”

Khan frowned. “Be gone? What Nineteenth-Century English novelist have you been reading?”

“None of your business.”

“Perhaps the greatest English novelists can be our topic at dinner.” 

She clapped her hands. “What fun! That sort of topic always stirs controversy. We’ll discuss them all,“ she said with shining eyes. “Except Charles Dickens. I’ve quite had my fill of him.”

“There’s Thackeray. The Brontes. Jane Austen. The list is endless.”

“It is, isn’t it? Oh, Khan, we will have such fun when we leave here! Such learned conversations! I can hardly wait.” She looked contrite. “Too bad we can’t take Mr. Spock with us, though.”

“Spock? Why? He isn’t exactly my favorite person.”

“I know you have very good reason to feel that way,” she soothed. “But he is so charming!” She felt like hugging herself and dancing in a circle. “But he wouldn’t leave Kirk. Oh, well.” Then she headed him for the door. “Now, shoo! Out!”

He left, shaking his head.

Laura went back to her notes, then laid aside her pen. How long would Khan amuse her? Now, Kirk. Kirk might have been fun. But Kirk was so obvious. And he’d never betray McCoy. But Khan. Khan was another matter. 

She picked up her pen again. Wonder what it would feel like to accept a love object that was over three hundred years old?

Oh, well, prospects were good that she was about to find out.

Oh, this was going to be so much fun!

 

Several nights later, Laura laid aside her napkin. The four men knew that was the signal for the end of dinner and the start of the evening’s entertainment. They looked at her with expectation. She never disappointed them.

“Gentlemen,” she said with sparkling eyes as she looked around the table. Leonard McCoy, Jim Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Khan Noonien Singh looked back at her. “This evening will be different. I have an announcement to make.“

McCoy smiled. “Don’t look at me, guys. I’m sure that if a baby was on the way, she would have told me first, and alone. I do have a vested interest, you know.“

Kirk smiled back and Spock looked pleased. Khan didn’t quite meet his eyes. You never knew what was on the mind of that crazy bastard, McCoy thought. He didn’t understand why Jim had so much to do with Khan. Oh, well, that was Jim’s business.

“What did you have to tell us, my dear?” McCoy asked with a gentle smile for this woman whom he loved so very, very much. “Don’t keep us in suspense any longer.”

“Why, I am going to leave here and establish my own research facility and clinic on the other side of Narsarya B!”

McCoy looked thunderstruck. “You are going to do, what?!”

“You heard me, darling,” she said with the hard edge to her voice that meant she did not wish to be contradicted. “You know that I came here originally with a group of other scientists. Well, one of my colleagues is wanting to leave his facility here and return to Earth. Something about his wife is homesick. How silly of him to do that just to please her! Anyway, I’m taking over. I want to do my own research.”

“You are doing your own research here.”

“I want full credit for my work!”

“Take all the credit you need! I thought I wasn’t stifling you professionally.”

“Oh, Len, darling, don’t be tiresome. You stifle me in so many ways.”

McCoy went white.

“I didn’t realize that you weren’t happy, Laura. You should have said something.”

“It was fine until your friends showed up, Len. Then I began to realize that there was a problem.”

“We could have worked it out.” McCoy could hear the pleading in his own voice.

“We could leave, Laura, if that’s what it will take. We didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Oh, James, it would just have delayed this outcome.”

“I could change, Laura,” McCoy begged. “I would do anything. I love you.”

“I know you do, darling. And I will always treasure that. But I need a change. I’m just not interested in you anymore. Sorry, darling. I‘m bored.”

McCoy winced.

“Please understand me, Len. I want to study the effects of this planet’s lotus flowers as a humanitarian project for Khan and his crew.”

“That’s what you’re doing here,” McCoy said in ashen tones.

“Yes. That was the short term projected benefits. Hopefully, the flower can be used to help settle the warlike tendencies of certain peoples which would, coincidentally, help Khan and his crew. And the ultimate goal would be that they could become viable citizens who could advance their theories for peace in the cosmos.”

“If you could do that, you could become famous.”

“Yes, Len, dear.”

“And you want all of the fame for yourself?”

“I am doing all of the work, Len.”

Kirk spoke up. “You keep talking about Khan as if he was going with you.”

“Oh, but he is, James!” she said brightly. “Khan and I have discussed it! He wants to come with me! He believes it would be to the benefit of both him and his crew.”

Kirk turned to Khan. “Is that true?”

But Khan didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at Kirk.

“But, of course, it’s true, James,” Laura continued. “He wants what is best for him and his people. And he realizes that will be with me in my own facility.”

“But I’m still in charge of him. Those are my orders.”

“James, your commanding officer is not in charge of this planet,” she said reasonably. “The Narsaryans are. Besides, where would Khan go? Nobody would allow him on a spacecraft. Yes, Khan is a powerfully built man,” she said with an appreciative glance at Khan. “But he has no power or political clout. He is a prisoner on this planet. And now he will be MY prisoner.” She wrinkled her nose in excitement. “Won’t that be exciting?!“

Kirk and McCoy could not quite share in her excitement. Spock and Khan looked noncommittal.

“Well,” she said in satisfaction as she looked around the table. “I believe that is enough exciting news for one evening. Mr. Khan, if you would be so kind as to escort me to my room?”

Four men automatically stood as a lady stood, then Khan hurried to her side. They were well trained, indeed.

“Len, dear, you will find your things in the blue room near the rooms for James and Mr. Spock. I believe you would approve of that selection. You always liked the color blue, I believe. Gentlemen, good evening.”

“Good evening,” three voices automatically echoed as Laura Kessler sailed out of the dining room on the arm of Khan Noonien Singh.

McCoy fell back into his chair, as Jim Kirk slumped into his. Such news so blithely announced had stunned their senses. Spock looked from one friend to the other, not knowing what to do.

“I thought I was making her happy,” McCoy said at last. “I thought she was contented with her research and with our life here. What went wrong?”

“I don’t know, Bones. I can’t believe any of what I just heard, either. I thought all was going well for Khan here. Why did he choose to go with her?”

But no answers were forthcoming, so the two jilted men continued to sit at the dining room table and stared ahead without seeing.

Finally, Spock took charge. “Gentlemen, we must retire for the evening.” The other two automatically arose and Spock led them out of the dining room. They would have followed him anywhere.

After they left the dining room, the remnants of the dinner disappeared and the cleaned dishes were once more seen in the open cupboards. The planet took very good care of its guests.

That night, the only inhabitant of that house who slept well was Laura. And she slept very well, indeed. 

 

“I thought I might find you here,“ Kirk said, almost with accusation in his voice as he stepped into the tiny garden known as Laura’s Jewel.

Khan glanced up as Kirk sat on a stone bench near his. Khan looked guilty, but did not leave.

“Have you thought this through, Khan? Is this what you really want? Or is this something that Laura somehow convinced you was what you wanted?“

“It is what I want,” Khan mumbled.

“Are you sure? I don’t know if you do. I thought you wanted me.“

“And why would I want you, Jim Kirk?“ he snarled without looking at Kirk.

“For the same reason you believe that I want you. You feel urges, too, don’t you?“ 

Khan looked up then, clearly startled. “Too? Do you know what you are admitting?”

“Yes.“ Kirk stared straight into Khan’s eyes. “That‘s why you really drank my blood, isn’t it? You know that there is an attraction between us.“

Khan wouldn’t answer, but he didn’t look away, either.

“You have felt urges, urges that no woman could ever satisfy,” Kirk continued. “If you say ‘no’, you lie. There has been an electrical current between us from the very first time we met.”

“Oh, Kirk, you are a crafty devil, aren’t you?” Great emotion shook his voice. “You can almost turn my thinking away from my concern for my family. You can almost make me think that there is something else to care about in the universe. You could almost make me hunger for the pleasures of holding another body in my arms again.“

“I want to be the world for you, Khan,” Kirk said with equal emotion. “And you could be so good for me.” He looked intensely into Khan’s eyes. “Your hand on my ass told me that much. Guess what, you scourge of the universe? I want your hand back on my ass. And I want it landing a whole lot harder next time. And more than once.”

Khan’s eyes enlarged.

“And then I want you to hold me, and cuddle me close to your heart, and tell me that you really didn‘t mean to hurt me. I want you to make it up to me, as only you could,” he said softly. “I want to be in your arms again, for whatever reason. I missed it last time, but I bet you could be a real good daddy to me. And I could be just what you wanted me to be.“ He saw Khan’s sudden intake of breath. “Don‘t walk away from me, Khan. Don’t cheat us out of loving each other.”

Khan’s eyes blazed, then he turned away. “Damn you, Jim Kirk! Get away from me! You are a devil! Don’t tempt me! Leave me alone!”

“Khan--”

But Khan refused to turn around, and Kirk eventually left him alone.

 

“You made Khan listen to you,” Kirk accused Laura.

“I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere if he hadn’t had doubts himself, James. Khan needs something permanent, and you’re not the type to stay forever. He must feel a lot for you to even consider turning away from his people. Could you live up to that? You’re larger than life, I know. But could you give up even half of what he would be giving up for you? If you have any feelings for him, let him go. Think of him, instead of your lusts. Those hungers would last only a short while, then you’d move on. What would that do to him? He’d be worse off than he was when he arrived here. He wouldn’t have his family, or you. Because you’d eventually get bored and leave him. What would he have then, outside of his hatred for you?”

Kirk couldn’t deny anything she said. It was all true.

“Oh, James, sometimes we just have to face some bitter truths. You've lost.”

From somewhere deep in the house, the music of Irving Berlin began to float through the rooms.

Laura tilted her head beguilingly at Kirk. “Dance with me once more?”

He bowed gallantly. “Certainly.”

“My, it must be dinner time already,” she remarked as she floated away in his arms.

“You will pardon me if I excuse myself this evening?” Kirk asked politely. “I’m not very hungry. My appetite seems to have left me.”

“I hope that isn’t a permanent condition, James. I’m certain it will improve when Khan is no longer in your immediate vicinity.”

“I doubt it.” Then he remembered that a gentleman never contradicts a lady. “One can only hope, I mean.”

She smiled pleasantly. “That’s perfect. Do you think of me as a villain, James?“

He gave her his best flirty smile. “Only as someone I underestimated.“

“Because I succeeded in getting what I wanted, and you didn’t? Why does that make me evil, and you good?“

“It doesn’t. I suppose it’s all in one’s perspective, isn’t it?“

“One thing I know about you, James T. Kirk. You’re a survivor. And another? You are a wonderful dancer. And a graceful loser.”

“That’s only three,” Kirk said, remembering the game that he had played with Khan.

“Excuse me?” she asked, raising her head.

“Just an old memory. Like this song.” And he smiled sadly as led her around her office to the strains of the old romantic song:

"Won't you change partners and then,  
You may never want to change partners again."


	12. Chapter 12

Jim Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Bones McCoy sat on the veranda of McCoy‘s home and watched evening settle around the lush lawns and flower-strewn gardens.

“You gentlemen should eat,” Spock said at last. “I had all of your favorites prepared. You both should try to eat a little of something.”

“Maybe tomorrow, Spock,” McCoy answered halfheartedly.

At that moment, the music of Irving Berlin clicked on and began to play softly through the hallways and rooms.

McCoy stirred. “Do we have to listen to that damn music?!”

“House! Music off!” Spock commanded, and the music clicked off. 

“No food!” McCoy ordered. And the food disappeared off the dining room table and the dishes appeared clean once more in the open cabinets without human eyes even seeing the transformation. 

“The women of Earth would love this house,” Kirk said with his first smile in days. It wasn‘t a real smile, though, because Kirk‘s eyes were haunted.

“They can have the whole damn place,” McCoy decided. “As far as I‘m concerned, it‘s the house from Hell.”

Kirk looked around. “Bones, ah, maybe you shouldn‘t talk like that. The house could, ah--”

McCoy frowned at him. “Are you superstitious?!”

“No, but something intelligent controls that music and puts dishes away. Maybe we better stay on the good side of it, huh? You know, just for kicks and grins?”

McCoy sighed deeply. “Now, you‘re going to turn into a damn hobgoblin! We already got one with pointed ears. We don‘t need anymore.”

Spock looked insulted.

“We may never know why Laura did what she did,” Kirk said dismally. “Now she and Khan are gone. Three days now.” He saw the slack-faced man beside him grimace. “I’m sorry, Bones. I would have never brought Khan here if I would’ve thought anything like this would happen.”

McCoy stirred. He looked like he had aged ten years. “It isn’t your fault, Jim.”

“I know. I just feel bad, that’s all.”

Then the Voice of Reason and Logic spoke up. “Assigning fault will hardly excuse the outcome or offer any method for its solution, gentlemen.”

Kirk shot him a tired look. “Spock, I know what you’re saying is true. But, in this case, right now, your logic is damned unwelcome. Okay?”

“Sorry, Captain,” Spock answered, somewhat ruffled. “I was simply stating an obvious observation of the present problem. All of this apologizing will not further the advancement of knowledge or alleviate the situation any.”

“No, but it sure makes us beat our guilty breasts until they bleed!”

McCoy and Spock both looked at him, startled.

“Sorry,” Kirk muttered. “But if you want to point out our mistakes in debate, Spock, might I say that you yourself just recently apologized to us when you started that last sentence?”

“Guys,” McCoy cautioned. “Don’t fight for my sake.”

“We’re bickering because we can’t find anything to beat the hell out of!” Kirk noted with frustration. “And I wish I could.”

“Yes. I know. Even if we had Laura and Khan here, we couldn’t blame them. They just did what they felt they had to do. On the other hand, I can’t find anybody NOT to blame, either.”

“I take exception with that, Doctor,” Spock objected. “What did I do?”

“You found someone to beat the hell out of. Khan.”

“That was back when Jim died.”

“But it set the stage up for this mess.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “With that criteria, I suppose you could blame Admiral Marcus. He was the one who awakened Khan.”

McCoy frowned. “Well, yeah,” he conceded. “And I should’ve never let Laura be in charge of this project, even if it was in her field.”

“It might’ve happened anyway, Bones.”

“But she was handing out the pills to everyone! What we didn’t know was that everyone was getting a vitamin instead of an immunity against the planet. Except Spock, of course. We all knew what a disaster it was for him not to be protected. At least she was humane to him. But the rest of us got no mercy!”

“She liked Spock,” Kirk mumbled, then looked at him. “Bet you didn’t know that, did you? She preferred you over me. Which is kind of a first,” Kirk mumbled, almost to himself. He was used to being the choice of the ladies.

Spock tried not to preen, but failed. “She was a very discerning lady with impeccable taste.”

“Watch it, there, Vulcan,” Kirk warned. “Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. I expect that breaks all sorts of rules in your behavior book.”

“It is not a sin if it is the truth.”

“It’s also an emotion. You know, one of those nasty feelings that you fight all the time."

“Pride is an inwardly directed emotion and deals with self-acceptance,“ Spock pointed out.

“But still an emotion!“

“Please, Captain, you are humiliating yourself.”

“But I’m right! Bones, I’m right, aren’t I?! Bones, jump in here. You‘re better at this sort of thing than I am.”

“I don‘t have the heart for it, Jim.”

“I know you don‘t. But it would be better if you did. Being feisty again would be better than sitting around moping.”

“But I should have realized that she was manipulating us by denying us of our pills! I am in charge of this facility. I should have seen what she was doing.” McCoy looked away in disgust. “Instead, I was taken in by her.”

“You fell in love, Bones. You trusted her. Who knew what she was doing with the pills?”

“I tried to inform the captain of that intelligence, Doctor, when I discovered it.”

“That’s right!” Kirk said, remembering. “One day when I was coming back from swimming, Spock did try to tell me, but I was in too great of a hurry to listen. Damn it, Spock! Why didn’t you trip me?!”

Spock blinked. “So, it is my fault again?”

“No. No,” Kirk admitted. “Once again, everybody’s fault and nobody’s fault.” He thought for a moment. “I know I wasn’t her favorite person, but why did she want to mess me up?”

“She wanted the full effects of the planet to work on you, I expect,” McCoy answered. “Perhaps so you would be more malleable. Or would pose less of a threat to whatever she wished to do.”

An ironic smile curved along Kirk’s lips. “If I had known earlier of what she was doing, it still might not have changed the outcome of what has happened since. We’ll never know, though.” 

McCoy‘s smiled sadly. “I was cranky when Laura first showed up, but I got happier the longer I was around her. I thought it was just because of her influence. But it was the influence of the planet, all along. You, Jim, were hornier, if that is possible. Khan, of course, was meant to feel the effects of the planet, which he did. In her own case, Laura thought she could handle the effects of the flowers by not taking the pills. She’d never been that attractive to males, so she was enjoying the attention from guys. I didn’t know her before the pills affected her. Well, I guess I got in on the tail end of that mousey phase of her. I just know that she got more beautiful and more intriguing each time I saw her. It was the most natural thing I’ve ever experienced to fall in love with her.”

“You were fooled, Bones. We all were.”

“It is time to come inside now,” Spock announced. “It is bedtime.”

“That’s alright, Spock. I’m going to sit out here just a little longer. I promise I won’t be long.”

“You know I cannot sleep until I know that you are in bed, Captain.”

“I know. I know. I’ll be along. I need just a little longer outside. I think I’ll go down to Laura’s Jewel and just be by myself for awhile. Okay?”

“Okay, Captain. Doctor McCoy?”

He extended his hand, and McCoy obediently stood up beside him.

“Jim?”

Kirk looked up. “Yes?”

McCoy’s smile turned ironic. “I figured that Khan was the hooded viper in paradise, but it was Laura, all along. Funny, I should have known.”

“Why do you say that, Bones?”

“Her middle name? It’s Eve.” He wondered inside the house, then looked back. “Spock? You coming?”

“Just a moment, Doctor. I will be right there.” He leaned toward Kirk. “I just wanted you to know that you were right about what you said about pride. I was trying to get the doctor thinking about something else.”

Kirk smiled. “You’re a good friend, Spock. To both of us.”

“Do not be too late, Jim.”

“I won’t,” Kirk promised. “Now, go catch up with McCoy. He needs you.” A moment after Spock disappeared, Kirk stood and walked down the rolling lawns to Laura’s Jewel.

 

For days, Jim Kirk wandered aimlessly over the back acres of McCoy’s estate. His surroundings were beautiful and enticing and beckoned with all of the allure and the powers of rejuvenation that only nature can provide to a grieving soul. But not to Jim Kirk. He was miserable.

All he could think about was that he had missed his opportunity with Khan. There had been so many chances for something with the Augment, and now there were none. Khan was gone, gone with Laura to the other side of Narsarya B. 

Outfoxed by a woman! That hurt the worst.

No, what hurt the most was Khan’s absence. Kirk’s pride should have been wounded and was, but his pride wasn’t the part of Kirk that was grieving now. It was his heart. It was broken.

Kirk could have loved Khan. They were equals. Kirk had finally met his match, and they had desired each other. Kirk knew that Khan had felt it, too.

What hold did Laura have on Khan? What allure did she possess that Kirk couldn’t match, or outdo? Kirk frowned to himself. What was this planet, anyway, that it offered us our dreams? Was it the paradise it seemed, or was it the most unimaginable hell possible?

Kirk became aware of a roar. He looked up and almost smiled. Before him was Laura’s waterfalls. His feet had unconsciously led him here, or his heart. He didn’t know which. It didn’t matter. He was here. The scene of where part of it had happened.

There, out in the water, was where he had undulated his body, displaying his wares to Khan. Here, at the tip of Kirk’s feet now, was where he had lain on his stomach and let Khan run his hands over his body. Where would their instincts and their lusts had taken them next? Oh, how he wished that they had followed the natural order of events and had discovered to what heights they could have taken each other.

But that woman, an insignificant woman, had interfered. As a woman always had. As a woman always would. The original Eve had. So had this Eve. Laura Eve Kessler.

Jim Kirk stared at the water tumbling over the lip of the falls and felt its energy roar in his heart. Tears misted his eyes as much as the vaporized water rising over the falls. Nothing could ever be the same again until he had satisfied a hunger that was beyond his reach now. He thought he could handle it, but now he knew he couldn’t.

With eyes burning with tears he couldn't shed, Kirk fell to his knees while still staring at all that water tumbling over that ledge into the waiting chasm below.

Where are you, my love? Why aren’t you with me? How many people, for how many eons, have flung those same questions into the ether? How many, oh, how many, had received no answer, as Kirk did now. The waterfalls didn’t care. Why should it? If this mere mortal suffering at its feet went away, another would follow. Another always did. Kirk was nothing special. 

But what a helluva way to learn that lesson! It seemed that was how all of his life lessons had come to him lately, the hard way. Maybe Kirk was so obstinate that Life had to do something really brutal to get his attention. Well, It had his attention now.

Kirk’s throat swelled shut, and he opened his mouth to gulp in huge mouthfuls of air. But nothing helped. His was a soul in torment. Nothing could ease this pain in his heart. Nothing, except, maybe--

Kirk threw back his head and sucked in all the air around him.

He screamed it with all of the passion of his unfulfilled lusts:

“Khan!!”

Birds flapped cawing out of the live oaks. Nearby, a startled dog barked.

Kirk looked for more positive results of the throat-wrenching cry. Was his heart lighter now? Would the sun shine brighter for him now?

Wrong. It didn’t help at all. In fact, his throat was beginning to hurt and burn.

His head fell in defeat to his chest.

 

Three stories above him, Spock stood watching his beloved captain from a third story window of McCoy’s house that was no longer a home. Spock’s attention had been drawn by the roar of the waterfalls. Odd that he could hear the noise of the falls from the house, odder still that he could even see the falls from this distance. Spock frowned. The falls seemed nearer. And in a treeless plain. He’d always thought the view of the grounds was blocked from the edge of the veranda outward by trees, but now he had an almost unobstructed panorama of a wide expanse of well-tended lawns. He frowned in thought. Had he ever seen or heard lawn mowers? Where were the grounds keepers?

Then Kirk was suddenly there in front of the falls. Spock hadn’t been aware of Kirk’s emergence from the nearby trees. Kirk had suddenly just been there. Kirk was dressed in his favorite new look of white shirt with deep v-neck tucked into tight leggings. Spock remembered seeing the same outfit on Khan the day Spock had tried to tell Kirk about the pill switching. Kirk’s hair had grown longer and unkempt since Laura and Khan's departures. Kirk had also taken up the habit of rolling his wild eyes and gnashing his teeth on every word as he spouted insipid romantic poetry that he'd written. Spock hoped that phase wouldn’t last long as Kirk acted like some star-crossed madman who had just ridden in off the English moors on his wild island pony. Spock supposed that was what jilted lovers did, though.

Spock watched Kirk looking up at the falls for a long time, then fall stiff-legged to his knees as if he’d been struck down. Spock took a step forward in alarm, then relaxed. Kirk had not fallen over. He was still staring up at the falls. That must have been a jolt to the knees, though.

Then, even from this distance, Spock had heard the painful name of Khan ripped from Kirk’s mouth and had seen alarmed birds exploding from the trees. Spock frowned and stepped backwards, out of sight from the window. He didn’t want Kirk to see him in this suddenly too personal moment.

For Spock knew that there was nothing he could do to aid his captain. Only one person in the universe could do that, and he was in the clutches of a human spider with superhuman powers of her own.

But Spock knew of someone he could help. He turned his back to the window and went in search of his other grieving friend. Dr. McCoy needed him.

 

For it had been Spock who had come forward to ease McCoy in his sorrow after Laura left. Spock somehow understood that McCoy just needed someone nearby for company. Kirk couldn’t fill that duty. He was too consumed by his own grief.

Spock had other reasons besides friendship for being a good companion to McCoy. Always immensely curious, he wanted to learn all he could about the relationship between McCoy and Laura. He had been struck by the sense of peace around them when he had first met them. He understood that McCoy had somehow brought a glow of well-being to this woman. Having known McCoy’s acerbic behavior for years, Spock could not understand how the doctor had managed to bring such joy to Laura’s life. It became an obsession with Spock to know what Laura felt.

McCoy tried to explain. But happy memories became progressively difficult for him to relate after Laura left. He wished not to be reminded of those times, but then there was Spock again, wondering. 

Unhappily for Spock, he asked about Laura once too often.

 

Kirk and Spock went back aboard the Enterprise which was orbiting and doing its own research about Narsarya B. McCoy had beamed up to have dinner with his two friends, and he was hanging around with Spock in Spock’s quarters until it was time to go meet Kirk and eat together.

McCoy had been feeling particularly melancholy that evening. It was Laura’s birthday. Last year, they had celebrated together. This year, he was celebrating it with bourbon as he sat with Spock.

“I’ll probably have to stay all night, if you don’t mind, Spock. I plan to really go on a bender.”

Spock thought that McCoy was pretty much underway already. “That is alright, Doctor. I will take care of you." He gave McCoy a flirty look. "I will always be willing to take care of you, Leonard.”

What the hell?! Was Spock flirting with him?! He must have been mistaken. “I know you will. You’re a good friend, Spock.”

“Thank you, Doctor. It is understandable why you are still grieving over your wife. She was such a gracious lady when I first met her.”

“She was to me, too.”

“It is difficult to imagine that circumstances turned out the way they did. I would have thought that she would have had all that she would want with you and the clinic and your laboratory.”

“You would’ve thought.”

“I know that you can be a little rough-edged, but still you are always a gentleman. I wonder why she felt that she could give you up? I thought that she felt a good deal of affection for you. How could she abruptly stop feeling that way? And when she left with Khan, what was she feeling then? Victorious? Virtuous? Vindicated?”

McCoy frowned. “Vindicated?! Why would she be blameless? I saw how she flirted with all of you, but I thought nothing of it because she belonged to me. But then she took up with Khan. HE didn’t compromise HER, Spock. She overwhelmed him.” He downed another slug of bourbon and grimaced.

“But, still, it was the effects of the lotus flowers on this planet that was causing her to do that, Doctor. Plus, she had never been admired by men. Then, suddenly, she had all this male attention. Especially from you, the older, experienced man of the world. Or, in this case, the universe.” He raised his eyebrow at McCoy in a flirty fashion. "It can be very gratifying."

There it was again, the flirting from Spock. McCoy decided to ignore it again and looked smug at Spock's general statement. “Well, thank you, Mr. Spock. I never thought of myself as the suave romantic, though.”

“But to her, you were. That was a powerful drug in itself. I wonder how it felt for her to let herself go in that fashion? It must have been very freeing.”

“I suppose it was,” McCoy mumbled and took another swig from the bourbon bottle. Spock didn’t drink, and it was just easier than using a glass. Saved time, too. “I just wanted to be important to her.”

“Would you like some crackers so you will have something in your stomach?“ Spock asked as he stood and walked toward a cabinet. “It will be awhile before we are to meet Jim.”

“Whatever,” McCoy answered. “You’re right. All that bourbon needs company.”

“I thought I had some crackers left.” Spock started digging.

“I was never important to her,” McCoy mumbled. Then he growled in a lower voice, “Just like I’ve never been important to you. You've said it more than once." He frowned. "At least, she never said it.”

“What?” Spock asked as he pulled his head out of the cabinet.

“Nothing.”

“I guess I finished those crackers.“ Spock started walking around the room. “I keep thinking about Laura and how she must have been thrilled with her sudden popularity. Just think how that must have been for her!” Spock said in awe. “To have always sat on the sidelines, and then to be the center of attention. It must have been very heady for her, indeed.” He grew thoughtful. “Is that the way that you would describe what Laura felt?” He looked at McCoy for a clinical, nonpartisan answer.

But, of course, McCoy couldn‘t give that kind of answer. He had been in the middle of a very emotional relationship. Logic had nothing to do with it. And with that thought, it happened to him.

He snapped.

“You damned hobgoblin!” McCoy jumped to his feet. “Stop asking me what Laura felt!"

"Doctor?"

"It must have been nothing! Nothing! Or else she wouldn’t have left me for that shell of a man the way she did."

"Please. Calm yourself."

"But I know now what she should have felt from me. And it was nothing nice."

Spock took McCoy's arm to guide him. "Let me help you."

"Nothing nice, at all! Here! I’ll show you!” And McCoy struck out with all of the fury and pain that he could muster from deep inside him.

Even as the blow struck home on Spock’s surprised face and sent him sprawling to the floor, he realized that it was what the Earthlings would term a sucker punch. The usage of that idiom became quite clear to Spock because it meant that only a stupid person should be surprised by such a maneuver. 

Seeing Spock struck down should have sobered McCoy, should have brought him to his senses, should have made him solicitous to Spock. It only made him angrier. He was no longer seeing Spock, his friend in need. He was seeing Laura, the bitch who had betrayed him. A blood lust swelled in him, and he attacked her with all of the savageness and hatred that he had left not acknowledged for too long.

McCoy bent down and pulled Spock to his shaky feet. “Damn you, Laura!” McCoy yelled, and blows rained down on Spock’s head and shoulders. McCoy's hands were claws ripping at Spock’s shredding uniform.

Spock fought back feebly, even if it was McCoy who had struck him. He fought back on instinct. He fought back because he feared. He fought back because he saw by McCoy’s glazed eyes that McCoy meant to kill. 

Furniture went flying. Clothing. Blood.

The sucker punch had surprised Spock. But he would recover quickly and do a Vulcan nerve pinch on his attacker. Just as soon as Spock saw an advantage. That tactic would cause the least damage to either of them. He did not want to harm McCoy, merely stop him from his furious attack that Spock felt really wasn’t aimed at him.

Now! The Vulcan nerve pinch!

Another sucker punch. Spock had left his solar plexus wide open and undefended, so McCoy sent the alien sprawling into an undignified pratfall.

Spock fell wrong, and his head snapped back to clip something solid, something that was much harder than his head. And Spock felt blood on his face. And pain, severe pain, near his temple. And he could barely move, let alone fight.

He needed help to stand. He needed help for his wounded head.

Then he felt hands on him pulling him down. Hands everywhere. A hundred hands. A thousand hands. He could not fight them all.

And he was thrown face down on the floor amid all the chaos that had once been his neat and tidy quarters. The final remnants of his trousers and underclothes were torn away. He grunted in surprised pain as his legs were ripped far apart and air rushed to cool an area that generally didn’t receive a free circulation of air. Something with legs of its own waded next to his exposed nakedness and brazenly made room for itself. 

“Damn you, Laura!” McCoy sobbed. “This is how I should have taken you! But first you need the foreplay, don't you, bitch?!”

Rough hands fondled areas of Spock which had never before known such scrutiny and abuse. He braced on his elbows with his head bent down and waited for what surely must follow. Such a prelude must surely lead to something.

He didn’t have to wait long. A pain. A severe pain, a severe pain tore at his body and centered in his rectum. He pulled his head back in agony, but no sound emerged. He had no energy left to fight, let alone protest.

No! No!

Finally, the pain and the hammering at his body went away. After eons of suffering, the pain blessedly went away. Spock hung panting on his elbows and could hear the other man panting, also. Spock felt eyes crawling over his body, and he felt almost as violated as when he’d been molested internally. Then hands, the thousand hands were back, pinching, stroking, slapping, bruising, probing. He thought he heard sobbing, and did not know if it was one or both of them who was weeping. Probably both. Then the hands touched him intimately again.

No! Please, no! No more!

But the hands persisted.

“You bitch! I wasn’t important to you! I’m never important enough to anybody! My wives! My friends! To Hell with all of you fakes!”

Hands in and out of areas that no hands had ever explored in that fashion before. Hands that meant to harm and to violate. Hands that meant to humiliate. Hands that meant to degrade. Hands that meant to injure.

There was no love or concern emanating from those hands, only hatred and brutality. Only the Angel of Death guided those hands on their mission of defilement. But through his cloudy thinking and agony, Spock knew it was no supernatural being that was attacking him. He knew it was one of his dearest friends. A friend he would die for, but who now meant to kill him.

Do not do this! I loved you! I know I did not tell you so, but I loved you! You cannot do this to me! You cannot do this to yourself!

Then Spock felt his whole internal system protest, as much from the betrayal of a friend as the violence raining down on him. Vomit spewed out of his mouth, and he moaned in between the spewing. But the vomiting did not ease the body protesting with shock over the violation of itself. Tears and nasal mucous streamed down Spock's face in slimy rivers.

With no strength remaining, Spock slumped forward onto the floor. His body had the consistency of a rag doll’s. He lay on his chest with his elbows splayed out. He was without structure and beyond caring.

Then the final humiliation. Spock felt his bowels loosening. He knew he would be unable to prevent that discharge. And it felt good, good. Something good at last. He was ridding himself of some of the foreign evil within him. It gave him strength to struggle back onto his elbows. Maybe he could survive, after all.

Then the hands were back. Tearing at him. Plundering him. Not being slowed at all by the oozing feces. Fists beating at his injured head. Kidney punches. Deep bruising fists to the buttocks. Injuring him in ways he wouldn’t have thought possible. And causing pain that would be his last memory of this life experience.

The silent scream of terror ripped his face back in a rictus of death as his head shot unnaturally backwards. Pain tore through his torso and electricity shot through his heart. How much more torture could he take from this man that he had loved? A man who even now was crying. And cursing his Christian God. And cursing Laura, a woman he now hated with the same intensity as he had once loved her. And ripping at the inert body that lay so still beneath him in an effort to get a response that it could no longer give. 

The attacker lost all sort of personal identity and could be identified only through his anger. For he was no longer human. He was killing his best friend.

The Angry One at last cast Spock aside with a shove and a growl.

Then the painful world blanked out for Spock. He collapsed onto the floor, shuddered violently once, then moved no more.

The Angel of Death would guide Spock home to where Mother was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now read "The Dancing Head of the Cobra" which is "What Laura Felt, part 2: A study of guilt and innocence"

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing dealing with Star Trek, including story lines and/or characters.
> 
> I own nothing of Irving Berlin or his marvelous music.


End file.
